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Love-shyness

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newchum
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08 Aug 2006, 8:35 am

Xuincherguixe wrote:
My thoughts,

Women probably can have pretty similar experiences. My thought is that it is also likely to be very horrible, though it might be horrible in a different way.

For Homosexual Men, I have a feeling that it would probably be very almost identical, with the added bonus of being marginalized. Even if they're "in the closet". I base this on that I talk to a lot of Gay Men on IM (Many of whom are not flirting with me and I only come onto them in a completely plutonic way).


I think I used to feeling from other people that they thought I was gay, one woman I knew asked If I was gay. I thought until now that was because I never talked about getting laid or girls (I often think about other things :p ). Now I think there could be other reasons

For me my life would be a hell of lot easier if I were gay, I would not have to constantly assert my masculinity to others for one.



newchum
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08 Aug 2006, 8:37 am

NeantHumain wrote:
I scored 136 on some questionnaire for love-shyness, which is apparently higher than even "self-confident non-shy men." For those of you who think Asperger's syndrome implies love-shyness, my score should put your conjecture to rest.


I think you got it there Neant, when I was a teenager, I had no hesistant on the few times I faniced a girl to ask her out.



Xuincherguixe
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08 Aug 2006, 11:53 am

Enigmatic_Oddity wrote:
Hmm I didn't see anything about likening the situation of gay males with that of females. Where was this?

There wasn't anything. It just kind of slipped in there :P



waterdogs
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10 Aug 2006, 9:29 pm

:o



Veresae
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15 Aug 2006, 2:02 pm

Well, I have those symptoms, though my taste in music's totally different from what's suggested. I found this diagnosis a few months ago when it was brought up in another thread.



Balmung
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23 Sep 2006, 8:36 am

Quote:
He is male.
He is a virgin.
He is a person who very rarely goes out socially with women.
He is a person without a past history of any emotionally close, meaningful relationships of a romantic and/or sexual nature with any member of the opposite sex.
He is a person who has suffered and is continuing to suffer emotionally because of a lack of meaningful female companionship. In short, he is a person who desperately wishes to have a relationship with a woman, but does not have one because of shyness.
He is a man who becomes extremely anxiety-ridden over so much as the mere thought of asserting himself vis-à-vis a woman in a casual, friendly way. This is the essence of "love-shyness".
He is a man who is strictly heterosexual in his romantic and erotic orientations. In other words, he is a person who is in no way a homosexual.


Yee-up. That about sums me up.

The only thing I'd disagree with is the music part. I LOVE high-energy music like rock and techno. It gets me up and moving when I'd rather be hiding in my "cave". Also, for me, there's another good reason I don't approach women and try to get to know them, despite that I'd like to.

My father was an abusive bastard to both me and my mother (more verbally than physically). He also apparently slept around with a number of women, although I only know one specifically (the one that truly ended the marriage). I saw firsthand how a marriage could deteriorate and get terribly ugly. I saw how it affected my mother and the pain she suffered because of it. It really made an impression on me.

I refuse to ever do anything like that to a woman. Period. I believe a woman is to be cherished, respected and nurtured, not simply a means to an end. If I did have some sort of relationship with one, I'd do all I could to make her happy (which makes me worry about "smothering" her and driving her away).

Anyhow, that's what I think.



Bart21
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23 Sep 2006, 11:00 am

I don't meet these criteria luckily.
But the odd thing is if it wasn't for some things i proberbly would have.
Like i haven't asked girls out without being under the influence of alcohol or a sleeping pill.
In wich case i just lose all fear of being rejected.
So yeah if i was always sober etc i would proberbly have stayed a virgin lol :oops:



LePetitPrince
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23 Sep 2006, 5:50 pm

this is just a theory ....

but it s so true ....

I have it too.