The trouble with flirting, etc

Post Reply New Topic

I think this guy is interested in me, and I'm interested in him. The trouble with this is sometimes he says stuff that is probably a little flirtatious, but I don't realize that till later, so I respond to him practically. I think this is sending him vibes that I'm not interested. Then, sometimes when he tries to talk to me, I can't look or talk to him, no matter how much I want to. Once again, I think this throws him off.


Has anyone been able to work through this?

hmmmm. I had this problem wit the opposite sex a lot when I was high school. (or atleast i think I did) Basically anytime you think he MIGHT be flirting attempt to flirt back. A false positive (thinking they are interested when they are not) isn't as big of a deal when a woman does it because men tend to be more comfortable having someone hit on them (or at least I know I am). BUT be careful because I also know that when I was younger I would have at least pretended to be interested in a girl who was interested in me even if I wasn't because I had such a high sex drive ya know? lol. Although i didnt look at your profile to see how old you are so the guy your talking too might be older then me a few years ago but many grown men are still the same old dogs they were in their teens.
So really if he seems like hes flirting what I think you ought to do is try to flirt back but do so in a non-obvious way so he don't get the wrong idea and try to play you for a fool.
But what do I know I haven't had anything that wasn't just a casual thing or ME getting played for a fool in almost a year now.

Yes. Flirting is not our strong suit, so I don't suggest you try it or attempt to interpret it. Make it simple, just assume the interest is there and hope for the best. The worst that can happen is you being rejected, but at least then there is no more confusion.

Yeah, when I was in high school I would try to do the flirting thing, and failed miserably at it. I think I'm going to follow deadeye's advice and just hope for the best. Besides, if it's going to go anywhere anyway, the guy is going to have to accept the way I am.

Yes. I'm in High School now and even before then, I couldn't distinguish between flirting or being polite. I still have that problem. However since your both interested in each other, he might not give up. Just smile, use eye contact, and ask him questions about himself (Interest, Hobbies, etc). It happened to me when one of my friends showed signs of flirting that I didn't recognized until my dad pointed it out.

If you still have trouble with talking and eye contact, practice with your mom, dad, teacher, etc.

Yeah, I'm bad at that too. I just apologize if I don't react the way that he may be expecting me to because I'm just awkward. D:

I can't look anyone in the eye, including my family. It's very difficult for me. It's something I could work on, but right now just making eye contact for a couple seconds makes me start to hyperventilate.

The taking flirting literally thing sounds like typical Aspie issues - when in doubt, just smile and nod

For eye contact, try to focus between the eyes instead, or gradually build up your tolerance. I think it's something we all have problems with, but it's crucial if you want to make that connection.

I still usually cannot figure out if someone is flirting with me or not. I'm not very good at flirting with other people- the only way I know how that I can really do is by touching them while I'm talking.

Generally if I think there is a chance they might be interesed and I am, I just tell them directly. The worse case scenario is that I get rejected but then at least it's not confusing anymore and I'm not ackwardly and obviously flirting with someone who is just trying to be nice. Every now and then my bluntness puts someone off but the way I see it is that means that they wouldn't get on well with me anyway as I tend to be rather direct.

I never know when someone is flirting with me, I am horrible with subtleties. People should just come out and say "hey I like you"!