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Mouldy
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15 Aug 2010, 12:43 pm

Of course i'll still use the forum for advise but i wont post my problems here thats all.

And anyways i dont have low self esteem i was just thinking of my GF's feelings thats all


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foreveryoung
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15 Aug 2010, 3:44 pm

She's not your girlfriend.



Mouldy
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15 Aug 2010, 3:46 pm

She is...

Well okay exsplain what a girlfreind is and i'll say if it matches what ive got? :?


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KaiG
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15 Aug 2010, 3:50 pm

Do you not want to have sex with her ever? If you don't now, chances are you will at some point in the future. How does she feel about this? Sex is an important part of most adult relationships. I wouldn't advise you to attempt to get your girlfriend into polyandry, I don't think it works for most relationships, and certainly not at your age.


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Mouldy
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15 Aug 2010, 4:07 pm

There is polyamoury at our age guy's and girls are always f*****g each other even when they are in a relationship :P

But well im just very very scared that's all it's not a definate no i mean ive never tried it so i wont say no until i know for sure if i like it or not. But i dont want to screw up or anything it's just makes me scared to think about it. I dont want to end up making a mistake then being to ashamed to be near her, i know that if she really loved me then this wouldnt matter at all and i know that she does love me I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW!!. f**k my other post's about my GF problems those where all me just not knowing what to do and i guess im in the same situation now but this is somthing that im really thinking about and worrying. For the record i know im gonna cry when we finally get to that point i just know it but she will understand.

But the reason i was thinking of getting someone else to do it was well... i takes the pressure off me dont get me wrong here it's not as if i want to tell my freinds "will you sleep with my GF for me??" Infact it would destroy me inside knowing that that was happening but still if it keeps her okay then thats good :)

But hey 5 years together and the situation of sex has never come up yet so why should it ever soon eh'?

Oh and BTW im 15 i turn 16 next week that means i went out with her when i was 10 so you can understand why ive been so nervous. This is my first GF ever and at 10 years old and with AS i think you can all appreciate how much i would like to keep this girl, ive grown too attached to her to let her go now. And at 10 years old i doupt the subject of sex doesnt really matter then it's just now that my friend are starting to say WTF 5 years and you havent banged her yet... Honestly i could go hmm not all my life but a looong time through it without ever needing sex and im not going to have it just cuz of peer pressure hell no!

I dont know what i want anymore i think i'll just take it and see how it goes im not the type of guy whose gonna throw myself onto her and she's pretty shy anyway so maybe the situation will never arise :?

But yeah ive had problems and im glad i talked about them here on WP but still it's better then holding it all in.

When i was standing infront of that portal ready to begin life on this planet god forgot to give me the instruction manual to life! ( and im not even religeous!! :P )

Thanks for reading


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KaiG
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15 Aug 2010, 4:29 pm

For what it's worth, I strongly advise against your plan to "have someone else sleep with her". Firstly, it implies that her feelings on the matter aren't important. Secondly, even if she agrees, it has a high chance of backfiring on you drastically. Thirdly, it means you will not experience it yourself.

Just accept that you're not ready for it yet. Are you asking because she's indicated that she wants to do it with you, or are you just worried because everyone else seems to be doing it? Have you talked to her about this? Communication is the key to a successful relationship.

You're still young. Don't get caught up in the fad. You and your girlfriend's wishes are more important.


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Mouldy
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15 Aug 2010, 4:33 pm

No well she has said she would like to some day but that dont seem anytime soon and yeah im not ready for it yet. It's just awkard when my freinds start talking about it and they involve me knoowing that ive never even done it before :?

But im not gonna let my freinds do it as you said it's too risky and i'll never exsperience it myself.


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Jessi_in_wonderland
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15 Aug 2010, 5:12 pm

If she really loves you she won't care how it turns out, but that it happened and it was a special moment between the two of you, it won't matter if its awkward or not.



Mouldy
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15 Aug 2010, 5:14 pm

I guess :(

Im just scared and have no idea how i'll know when i'll need to do it?


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KaiG
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15 Aug 2010, 5:39 pm

Read up on it.

Anyway, just think of it like this: if it were really that difficult, the human race would have died out long ago. Knowing how to have sex is kind of ingrained in our brains.

Also, if you do end up going for it, remember to use protection and practice safe sex in general. That's the important part that your conscious brain needs to deal with. Awkwardness will come and go, but pregnancy or STDs aren't so easily surmountable.


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Mouldy
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15 Aug 2010, 5:41 pm

Thats another fear of mine i dont want kids sooo wether it's a good idea to go ahead and do it even with protection i dunno is it worth the risk?


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KaiG
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15 Aug 2010, 6:13 pm

I think the vast majority of humanity would say yes. That's how manufacturers of condoms and the Pill stay in business.


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daga818
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16 Aug 2010, 4:28 pm

FerrariMike_40 wrote:
No offense, but I don't think you really know what a girlfriend is. No real relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend has the boyfriend telling the girl to go have sex with someone else well the bf is still maintaining the emotional aspects of the relationship. Even if she was your girlfriend, no one else can have sex with her for you, that is just not how things work.

What makes you think she has been your girlfriend for 5 years?


Watch a scene from the movie "The Other Guys" and.. "Harold and Kumar?" Those two movies have a husband that wants the wife to do "it" with other guys, mind you that's unrealistic and a movie tho :P



Mouldy
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16 Aug 2010, 5:05 pm

Dont worry it will match my unrealistic idea's :lol:


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16 Aug 2010, 11:01 pm

You two are just very close friends. All indicators from what you've posted is that she doesn't see you as a lover. Lovers make out, and she's shown no interest in doing that with you.

You're 15 ffs, worry about your grades and nickelodeon cartoons. You're in over your head.



Mouldy
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17 Aug 2010, 2:50 pm

Actually you's be surprised at the sort of stuff people my age are up to im bot saying i want to be part of it because i dont, If i started doing that stuff then i would definately say i was in over my head.

And yeah we dont make out or anything like that but still i love her and she loves me, so yeah we're not in a "passionate" relationship but what me and her have i would call a relationship none the less we feel for each other in the same way that a "close" couple would the only difference is that we are not all over each other constantly. Of course i love to be close with her just not like that i love to hold her hand and to kiss her every now and then and thats what im comfortable with for now and to me thats what i call a relationship. :)

Im sorry of your ideas of relationship are f*****g each others brains out cuz if thats how deep love goes then i dont want to be a part of it.


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