It's been a couple weeks on that dating site now, and I've concluded I've somehow ended up in upside-down bizarro-land!
I have exchanged numerous e-mails with several of the girls on the site. I've not met anyone in person yet.
The closest things to relationships that have turned up, I've had to break up myself. If you'd told me a few weeks ago that I would have been the one to dump several girls in a row, I would have said that was insane, figuring that I would have been so desperate, I would have clung to any relationship until I got dumped. I dumped these girls, and I don't regret it - they're AWFUL.
I use the word "girls" deliberately: I've contacted mostly 30- and 40-year-old girls, and few have the maturity, depth, and vocabulary of what I would consider an adult.
As I mentioned earlier, the first few girls I'd talked to from the dating site seemed inarticulate. I'm concluding they're almost universally inarticulate! I'll write a 3 or 4 paragraph introduction, with questions about the girl, and get a 4 or 5 word reply, every time. They don't seem to be reading anything I write, but they keep replying, but never saying anything. In the cases where I've actually talked to them on the phone, they're just as bad on the phone as they are by e-mail and text: as bad as I am at talking, I carry the entire conversations, they mumble two- and three-word replies.
With patience, I actually got far enough with one of them to actually agree to a meeting/date with her. It was a total cluster-f*ck, and I don't want to bore anyone with all the details. Bottom line, I drove three hours to her town and waited about two hours past the time we'd agreed to before I had to call her and get her to mumble something about fighting with her ex all day and things being too "chaotic" to see me. I tried a couple more conversations by phone and text with her before politely telling her this wasn't going to work out. I had to explain three times why it wasn't working out - she genuinely seemed to be under the impression we were perfect for each other. I think in dozens of texts and e-mails and about 8 phone conversations, I didn't get more than a hundred words out of her. She was better at communication than most of them, but even she was worse at "small talk" and the "give and take" of conversation than I was.
I'll say it again: dating sites are good for almost nothing but making me feel better about myself. I strongly recommend it to anyone with poor self-confidence, as long as they expect nothing more than watching "normal" people looking like incompetent, cretinous idiots.
On the down side, though, I'm walking away from this feeling like I'm doomed to die childless and single, as I can't lower my standards low enough to want anything to do with them. My GOD - I've always thought the problem was with me! I know I must be too picky or something and I know that not all of them are this bad, but I can't help feeling like these women are representative of the vast majority of single women my age, and the only way I can think of to start a relationship with them is to hit them in the head with a club and drag them to a cave. How in the world have these people been reproducing all this time?!? Animals, at least, can communicate with each other!
But yeah: dating sites = endless sadistic amusement, if you're into that sort of thing.