Can Online Dating Sites Work for An Aspie?

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Werecrocodile
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25 Sep 2010, 7:01 am

This is a joke, if you really want to be in a real relationship try getting out of your house and have some fun.



DeathGoth
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25 Sep 2010, 8:02 am

I heard somewhere cant remember where but that 8 in 10 marriages that were from online meetings were divorced within 3 yrs..

I am trying to find this information it was a awhile ago so.. I will try and find this info and post it here..



nick007
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25 Sep 2010, 8:06 am

Werecrocodile wrote:
This is a joke, if you really want to be in a real relationship try getting out of your house and have some fun.


That does not work for lots of Aspies especially the ones who live in rural areas where there are not many places to go to meet people


DeathGoth wrote:
I heard somewhere cant remember where but that 8 in 10 marriages that were from online meetings were divorced within 3 yrs..

I am trying to find this information it was a awhile ago so.. I will try and find this info and post it here..


Most marriages that were from meeting offline get divorced to thou


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Last edited by nick007 on 25 Sep 2010, 10:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

DeathGoth
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25 Sep 2010, 8:10 am

I got the info wrong it was 1 in 8 people who met online ended up getting married..

Sorry for the incorrrection..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljbI-363A2Q[/youtube]

Its here in this video called Shift Happens..

I am sure if you look at divorce statistics from that you can get a general idea on how these Internet marriages last considering 1 in 8 get married..

I could have swore though I heard something about 8 in 10 people married online divorce soon after.. I will look into that and report back but I am going to call it i screwed up... for now...



Werecrocodile
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25 Sep 2010, 10:09 am

Werecrocodile wrote:
This is a joke, if you really want to be in a real relationship try getting out of your house and have some fun.


"That does not work for lots of Aspies especially the ones who live in rural areas where there are not many places to go to meet people"


Ok I admit defeat, you're right. The truth is there isn't a lot of information in my database due to the lack of interest in this subject.



migva8
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26 Sep 2010, 7:15 pm

DEATH GOTH, A smart woman told me once, "Its not you its them, stick it on your fridge" So much of what i read on yours and in the others replying makes it clear so many of us have been through the total run around with loosers that do not seem to know if they are comming or going. and we start to doubt ourselves. THey cant even recall what they did yesteday a lot of them, and have no sense or need to evaluate or think about anything beyond themselves. I might be sensitive, i might be a deeper thinker, but sometimes id rather have that struggle, than be a careless user, with substandard morals and values.



TheMinnesotaIceman
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26 Sep 2010, 11:03 pm

Dating sites were a big waste of time for me.



nick007
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27 Sep 2010, 12:57 am

Werecrocodile wrote:
Werecrocodile wrote:
This is a joke, if you really want to be in a real relationship try getting out of your house and have some fun.


"That does not work for lots of Aspies especially the ones who live in rural areas where there are not many places to go to meet people"


Ok I admit defeat, you're right. The truth is there isn't a lot of information in my database due to the lack of interest in this subject.


I really wish it was that easy for us :cry:


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Space
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27 Sep 2010, 8:15 pm

All I know is plentyoffish sucks. I won't get into all the reasons why. There are better sites out there, which ones I can't advise you on, but I have been told this by others.



nick007
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27 Sep 2010, 8:26 pm

Space wrote:
All I know is plentyoffish sucks. I won't get into all the reasons why. There are better sites out there, which ones I can't advise you on, but I have been told this by others.


I've used POF before & they have a very hateful attitude towards men on the forum. They were lots of post by women talking about how guys were a-holes, lairs & cheaters & how nice guys don't exist but when a guy made a post about how he cant get a woman because of his low income; the mods deleted it & he got some generic warning telling him to check the rules but it never said what rules were broken. I think those mods were very biased. I messaged lots of women in my area & almost none of em replied,. The only people who ever messaged me 1st were guys who liked what I said on the forum or gay guys who were hitting on me :o :evil:
I think that sea is polluted with toxic waste & some people are overfishing


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Hopeless_Hearts_Marie
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27 Sep 2010, 11:21 pm

But what is one supposed to do if they don't know where to go and find someone to meet and possibly end up dating?
I find it hard to find places to go where I feel comfortable and can even strick up a conversation with some one for that matter.
Sure I'm picky at some times, but when I do open up I try different places and things.
It really sucks when you don't work and don't know where to find ppl to meet and also don't know how to even start talking to someone you like or think you like. *Sigh* :cry:



migva8
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28 Sep 2010, 3:42 pm

POF in the uk was a the ABYSss........thats awful the thing you explained about the modorators deleting your msg. I like the others could make another list about it, covered most of it in my earlier post. Problems seem to be that most just want casual flings, but realise they wont get that if they are upfront about it, so then all this subterfuge, and Aspies probably too honest or direct and when people see we are like that they try to exploit us even more. Plus if someone is judging you on your job title , its a sign they are shallow, amongst other things. Id like to find companion ship or even new friends who are male, but these Generic online sites for me total waste of time. It says Over 18s but most of these candidates didnt seem to have reading ages much more than a 9 yr old, and that wasnt due to any neurodiversity.



auf_ehre
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03 Oct 2010, 12:25 pm

POF works OK.

Got lots of casual sex, a few short term girlfriends and eventually a wife.



Major_G
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04 Oct 2010, 5:29 pm

Hm...I don't think I ever even got a response from anybody on PoF.



Yagaloth
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07 Oct 2010, 11:07 pm

It's been a couple weeks on that dating site now, and I've concluded I've somehow ended up in upside-down bizarro-land!

I have exchanged numerous e-mails with several of the girls on the site. I've not met anyone in person yet.

The closest things to relationships that have turned up, I've had to break up myself. If you'd told me a few weeks ago that I would have been the one to dump several girls in a row, I would have said that was insane, figuring that I would have been so desperate, I would have clung to any relationship until I got dumped. I dumped these girls, and I don't regret it - they're AWFUL.

I use the word "girls" deliberately: I've contacted mostly 30- and 40-year-old girls, and few have the maturity, depth, and vocabulary of what I would consider an adult.

As I mentioned earlier, the first few girls I'd talked to from the dating site seemed inarticulate. I'm concluding they're almost universally inarticulate! I'll write a 3 or 4 paragraph introduction, with questions about the girl, and get a 4 or 5 word reply, every time. They don't seem to be reading anything I write, but they keep replying, but never saying anything. In the cases where I've actually talked to them on the phone, they're just as bad on the phone as they are by e-mail and text: as bad as I am at talking, I carry the entire conversations, they mumble two- and three-word replies.

With patience, I actually got far enough with one of them to actually agree to a meeting/date with her. It was a total cluster-f*ck, and I don't want to bore anyone with all the details. Bottom line, I drove three hours to her town and waited about two hours past the time we'd agreed to before I had to call her and get her to mumble something about fighting with her ex all day and things being too "chaotic" to see me. I tried a couple more conversations by phone and text with her before politely telling her this wasn't going to work out. I had to explain three times why it wasn't working out - she genuinely seemed to be under the impression we were perfect for each other. I think in dozens of texts and e-mails and about 8 phone conversations, I didn't get more than a hundred words out of her. She was better at communication than most of them, but even she was worse at "small talk" and the "give and take" of conversation than I was.

I'll say it again: dating sites are good for almost nothing but making me feel better about myself. I strongly recommend it to anyone with poor self-confidence, as long as they expect nothing more than watching "normal" people looking like incompetent, cretinous idiots.

On the down side, though, I'm walking away from this feeling like I'm doomed to die childless and single, as I can't lower my standards low enough to want anything to do with them. My GOD - I've always thought the problem was with me! I know I must be too picky or something and I know that not all of them are this bad, but I can't help feeling like these women are representative of the vast majority of single women my age, and the only way I can think of to start a relationship with them is to hit them in the head with a club and drag them to a cave. How in the world have these people been reproducing all this time?!? Animals, at least, can communicate with each other!

But yeah: dating sites = endless sadistic amusement, if you're into that sort of thing.



nick007
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07 Oct 2010, 11:15 pm

Yagaloth wrote:
It's been a couple weeks on that dating site now, and I've concluded I've somehow ended up in upside-down bizarro-land!


Witch dating site are you referring to :?: POF :?: