Ladies: I'm curious....

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i'm not sure if i understand the question. me=married for 16 years, together for 20. he was a skater dude with purple sunglasses and a partially shaved head. he was very thin and hairy and slightly bowlegged. i noticed him from about 50 feet away when he visited my school to see some friends, and i felt an instant shock of attraction.

before that... i dated a dark-haired man who did some modeling, a 6'8" virgin who wore chain mail, a craggy ex-con who was 2 inches taller than me, a blonde bodybuilder, a black guy, a short chubby jewish man with a prominent nose, a long-haired biker, a tall thin bookish guy... to me, it was all about the chemistry.

in my head, when i thought about a guy i wanted to date, i imagined doing stuff together and being together, if that makes sense. i have a terrible visual memory so i was not great at 'imagining' a certain type. i could not have imagined what my future husband looked like, for example.

My last 2 celeb crushes were Jemaine Clement



and Louis Theroux



I also like: Johnny Depp, Keanu Reeves, and when I was a teen, River Phoenix .

Am I wrong in assuming everyone here thinks physical attraction has a big effect on whether or not relationships are achieved? It's not true.

It's not primarily looks that a woman focuses on most.....it's romantic chemistry and a compatible personality. At least a girl who has a brain.....which I am assuming is the kind of girl most of the guys on here would prefer?

Quit worrying how many chins you have or whether your nose and eyebrows look right and start focusing more on developing your heart and finding compatible people....Go to places where compatible people would probably hang out...are you obsessed with Star Trek? Get your butt to a Trekkie convention and meet some Co-eds there! Like reading? Go to a used book store with your coffee and keep a watch out for co-eds looking in the same section of books that you would....etc.

Why would you want to be stuck with someone cute, but who doesn't have anything in common with you? It would be boring. Especially after you are too old to do the bedroom thing, and you are stuck trying to have a uninteresting and worthless conversation with her across the table at the nursing home.....

In my question, I wasn't asking what type of woman anyone wanted to date, it just seemed like men on her had an image in mind they were generalizing to when they spoke about women because

A very similar situation always arose when I'd ask my brother what he wanted to eat when he was younger, and he'd say "Anything" so I'd make a suggestion and he'd say "No, not that" Apparently he had at least a type of food in mind in some respect of another that he simply couldn't express because he couldn't articulate it's attributes even though he had them on his mind.

So to answer your question if it were a parellel of mine, when I speak of men in general I envision all types of men with no constraints on their attributes.

Obviously dorky people who aren't necessarily geeky. A 3-D version of:



I began having issues with geeks when I learned that many of them value their IQ score a little too much and often act like that they're a lot smarter than they actually are.

EDIT: The above is the type of men I'd want to spend some time with. As for the type of men I generally envision when I think about "men," I'm leaning toward Robert Downey, Jr. Charming on the outside, assholish once you really get to know him.

It would be boring even before you get old - you can't spend all your time in the bedroom. no matter how willing you are... Not to mention sexual performance is not (in my experience) in any way related to how good a man looks

Very true Sallamandrina, some ugly men are great in bed I suppose

One of my favorite quotes is from the Native American man in the French foreign film "Brotherhood of the Wolf" when one of the men asked him if he could "do it" with white women: "Women are all the same color in the dark."

That's why it's silly to focus on looks instead of personality when picking a partner....one fades, one does not.

Huh... Can't say I picture any guy but my husband. Now, if I were to think of the type of woman I would like to date... butch.

I'm not going to post a picture, because I wouldn't be likely to know the person. However, I have dated women in the past and the butch women are the ones I relate to the most. Plus, I love women a bit rough around the edges. Willing to get down and dirty. Not worrying constantly if their make up has smeared or their nail has broken.

I loved the way Mark Dacascos played that part

for the most part I haven't got a clue, though I wouldn't want a man with the kind of mental problems that would make him do irrational things that were restrictive or dangerous, or would cause him to think Crazy Thoughts™ about other people.

(and the celebs' pics are the visual manifestations of their physical preferences ...their standards regarding looks.)




(and the celebs' pics are the visual manifestations of their physical preferences ...their standards regarding looks.)




(and the celebs' pics are the visual manifestations of their physical preferences ...their standards regarding looks.)




(and the celebs' pics are the visual manifestations of their physical preferences ...their standards regarding looks.)



(et les photos des celebs ne sont que les manifestations visuelles de leur préférences physiques, leur standards concernant l'apparence extérieure)


(وصور المشاهير هن سوى إنعكاس على الصفات الجسدية التي يفضلهن)

The last girl I liked was of the pretty girl category (well, everyone else says she's pretty, then she must be pretty), she showed interest in me so I started to like her back , I screwed things up tho thinking that she wouldn't want an atheist (long story).

I am talking about girls (not only the pretty girls) that I heard them deliberately saying what physical traits that would be red flag turn off for them, when many of those physical traits are like mine then I would never think of this girl at all or try to get her slightest attention.

The mathemagician:


I also have some very specific Polynesian and Native American men in mind but that might be too many pictures.

I think of a guy with good features, lots of energy and a big bag of brains.

No it does not, I think the ladies here were just posting their celeb crushes as an example of a very attractive man. They dont go looking for Brad Pitt or David Beckham in real life, similar to the way that most men do not marry a supermodel.

Anyway I am taking my board break now, and I will leave you with a picture of pug dog puppies.

I think you are correct. Perhaps it is more apparent to the women what I'm asking because women generally focus on these attributes in a conscious way that they can articulate, as they often try to obtain the ones they wish to have.

Either way, that is a fantasy image and not the sort of guy I end up with. If you don't like someone you know, when you fantasise about being together with someone, you just have to make up some non existant guy in your head. The people I end up liking never look like that, because I like people for their personalities, and a unique look which does it for me.