Broken-hearted me

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No, I don't think you do. Otherwise you wouldn't.


Really. When someone admits to you that something he did -- which he truly doesn't understand -- practically drove him to suicide, that's your observation? What could possibly be your point or motivation in telling me that?


Presumably you're here to find that out and to try to understand. But, maybe not. (And you wouldn't be alone.)


That's the most sensible thing I've heard all night.

Thanks much for all of your comments. As an update, he told me last night that he doesn't believe he has Aspergers after all, he is just too "spiritual" for this planet. He said I don't have to move out if I don't wish to, I could live with him as a roomate, but we would only be friends.

I would really love it if he would contact a supportive person or group but he said he has no need.

I will tuck my tail between my legs and leave.

Tabekat,

I started to write a long response to you explaining the reasons why Aspies have issues with intimacy etc. Then I went back and reread and decided he was probably not worth the energy. If he can be in a long term relationship, can tell you he loves you and convince you everything can be ok then he can do better than tell you he's bored, end of story. You saying that he thinks he's too spiritual for this planet kinda makes me feel pleased about not wasting any time on him.
Anyhoo no need to tuck your tail between your legs, fluff it up with pride, maybe tickle him under his extra self enlightened nose he has firmly planted in the spiritual realm and git the heck out of there. Contrary to the acidic tone of some of the responses you got, you did nothing wrong, you showed a lot more compassion and maturity than he ever did. Oh and fyi I've met a few ascetic spiritual types, don't ever recall any of them stoning out in front of the tv
I hope you never have to go through something that awful again.
And for the record there are plenty of lovely intense beautiful Aspie men out there, don't disregard any future possibility because of your experience with one selfish prat.
Good luck!! !
Gruntre

@Gruntre, if the OP fails to acknowledge the things she did that contributed to this heartbreak, then she will not learn from this experience - and she'll likely find herself in a similar situation down the road. She sold herself short - she settled for something far less than she is worth - and she put a lot of energy into doing that.

Nobody else can make you settle - that's a self-inflicted wound.

You can't let another person define your self-worth.

Her instincts were absolutely right, but she shouted them down. And she's suffering greatly for it. I don't want to see her go through this again.

OP, as to the latest BS this guy is slinging, you've gotten a taste of something that irritated the hell out of me in my own experience with Aspie men: refusal to take responsibility for their own actions. Now I'm quite certain my experience is NOT indicative of the behavior of every Aspie man. I've read posts by plenty of men here who seem perfectly able to take responsibility for their actions - but for the most part, I just don't seem to date and/or befriend those guys.

It is maddening how the men I've been with can turn themselves inside out to avoid owning what they've done. The explanations I've heard are downright laughable ("too spiritual for this world".....yeah, right) - all to avoid saying something simple like, "You know, I got really angry and I said and did some things I shouldn't have. I'm really sorry. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I promise to treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

And that kinda goes right back to my original point - if you want to learn from your mistakes, you have to acknowledge them. Its impossible for me to be involved with someone who can't admit when they're wrong. Its far too stressful, and far too limiting. I don't want to waste all my energy maintaining the facade that my partner is perfect (or in your case, he's just too damn good for this world).

Please, get out of there ASAP, and don't give that selfish sonofabitch one more minute of your time.

Too SPIRITUAL for this world GET real

I, too, have a problem with commitment, but my thing is that I'm just straightforward with it: I DO NOT WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH ANYONE! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!

Bear in mind that I do NOT claim to actually HAVE Asperger's - I might, I might NOT. Or I might have some OTHER type of ASD...or I just MIGHT be a garden variety, selfish, arrogant A$$#@LE plain and simple!

But ONE thing is for SURE: I do NOT believe in holding a woman HOSTAGE while I go through changes wanting to be in a relationship ONE minute, then NOT wanting to be in one the next!

JUST LOSE THE BAGGAGE!