Women are the worst when you have aspergers

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Sorry but you are generalising based on your own experience. Maybe you are not dating the right women, maybe you have been dating exactly the type you describe, shallow and superficial, and they dated you just because you look good? Or maybe you dated them because they looked good?

I must say as a woman myself I find your generalisation pretty insulting. Wake up and go look for women who are less superficial then the ones you describe instead of whining about the idiots you dated.

I also suggest watching the movie Shallow Hal, its a comedy but it does have a message.

Tell me where the right women are. Sorry for generalizing but I'm fed up with the way things are. I saw Shallow Hal in theatres when it came out. Funny movie, but I'm not about to start dting 500 pound women just to appease you, or because it will improve your opinion of me. Sorry. I'm attracted to whom I'm attracted to.

And once again, another reply that misunderstands what I meant by my post. Like talking to an NT.

The funny thing is, for me anyway, I feel like I'm one of the few men that is into having a committed long-term relationship... in fact I've been told that my relationship needs are more like a 30 year old woman's needs than that of a 22 year old man. And yet, at least in my experience (yours may vary), it's the women in my area that either see me as not good enough or are not into said commitment themselves...

You missed the point of the movie (I understand because it was a comedy so primarily funny), the message was not really about her weight, it is about looking only at someone's appearance (and in case you wonder, no I don't weigh 500 pounds, I'm thin), by looking only at the "outside" you miss everything else. And yeah your generalisation is upsetting but its not about appeasing me either, its about you finding the right person, and as long as you look only at the outside it will be difficult to find someone who will be right for you, and you will keep dating shallow women for whom the important is also appearances.

I know that for me personally its never been about how popular a guy was, its always been about how well I get along with him, its all that matters, if others don't like him I couldn't care less.

So they don't find you attractive when getting to know you - move on.



If they like going to bars every weekend and you don't, they might just be looking for something more like themselves. They want to hang out with people, they think are fun - what's the harm in that? Why don't you find someone, who's more like you too?
Also: how do you know, they're attracted to you? Perhaps you're not that good at reading their minds. You might think you get along, but perhaps they're just being polite.



You judge women too harshly. Honestly, you are very rude towards women in this post. It is very unattractive.
Women are all different - don't generalize like that.


No woman owes you anything - it's not a crime. Shape up and stop moaning.


Good women do exist. But when you speak thus of women, it's not hard to understand, why they wouldn't want you.
Women are NOT all the same - only in your mind.
None of my previous mates have been considered highly desirable. My current boyfriend, whom I love to bits, is not desired by all my girl friends. We have a lot of friends in common, who already like him, but even if they didn't know him beforehand, they'd still like him because he treats me well.



Until you change your attitude, and come to the realization that perhaps there are things you need to change about yourself, you probably won't find a girlfriend. I hope you will find someone some day though. Love is a great thing, and most people deserve it (but no one is entitled to it!). You say you're attractive, but looks is not a prime factor for most women. Most women wouldn't keep you for your looks or your job, but for who you are. The majority of women are not that shallow.

My guess is that you are kind of venting based on a recent bad experience. The reason I think that is because I do *exactly* the same thing.

But you are absolutely correct when say that looks, style, income, brains, etc don't guarantee you success with women, but that's true for NT's too.

I'm not saying it isn't more difficult for us, but were not average guys so we need to find not average girls, and they are by definition more rare.

Also, of course there is nothing "virtuous" about dating someone you're not physically attracted to, but try to be a little flexible and look at the total package before you write someone off as "undateable", something I have been guilty of myself.

Maybe change your strategy a bit and keep trying, I'm not there yet either, but I feel like I'm definitely getting closer...

Good luck!

I read your other thread and see a lot of similarities between you and I. I sent you a PM. Thank you for replying. I mentioned looks and people here jumped down my throat assuming I was some arrogant doosh, when the opposite is the truth.

So often what I say and type is misunderstood EVEN HERE ON AN AS FORUM! So imagine how misunderstood I am in an NT world.

You're right, I was venting. I've had nothing BUT bad experiences when it comes to women. I'm in my 30's now and starting to think "It just may never happen for me". Like you, I feel as if I shouldn't be this clueless at my age when it comes to women. But often, I feel as though I am an awkward 13 year old boy.

It must be our mannerisms, or something man. Something we arent aware of. I dont know, I try so hard. And often it feels as if the women I go out with are trying to make things HARDER on me, instead of saying "I can see this poor guy is nervous. I like him so let me try to make things easier" BUT NO instead it seems they do the OPPOSITE!

Trying so hard to find a good woman, it is so difficult. I'll see you man. Bye.

I'm tired of people telling me to change myself. I like who I am, why cant I find a woman who likes me for me? Oh wait...Im not on facebook, I forgot. Silly me.

Any idea where to find women "more like me"? Or is that just an NT way of telling me "Give it up, you're gonna die alone. Take the hint."?

If you like who you are, then shouldn't that mean you wouldn't be complaining about being single?

If you don't want to change who you are for some reason or other, then stop complaining. The world doesn't revolve around you. Get with the program or shut up.

I agree with menintights - if you are comfortable with who you are, you wouldn't be this sick of being single, because you'd be content with yourself. Also: if women don't like who you are, you have a choice: make yourself a better man, stop being so judgemental (you are!) and then you might find love. We all have issues with ourselves, that we could benefit from working on. Personally I'm still learning to express my feelings when I'm feeling them - I also need to be more comfortable with not being able to have as lively a social as I'd like to.

No I have no idea where to find women more like yourself. I don't know that much about you, but if you're looking for a gentle girl, try libraries, coffee shops, book shops, gaming conventions, small interest-based classes or such.
Why are you so harsh on neurotypical people? They're just as different as we are.
I'm certainly not telling you to take the hint - I'm telling you to stop judging other people, and you might just figure out, why you haven't had a lot of luck in the romantic department.

Not all Aspies suffer in a similar way with women. I suppose it's the more sensitive type of Aspie or the type of Aspie who's subjected more to hurtful experiences who'll suffer more with women picking up on their traits, making them more likely to put them down. I agree that it's because you're around beautiful women that you suffer more around them, they're more demanding and disdainful of men they see as having less social value by whatever criteria they have in their big heads. Heads, psyches that are big, egos that are overinflated by all those people telling them how pretty they are all the time.

I'm sorry, but I just had a really BAD experience with an AS *male* who claimed to "love me, I was the perfect woman, etc, etc, etc" and now he won't even TALK to me or tell me why. I'm still grieving months later. It's not just women, dude. It's PEOPLE. And it's not the "social status" thing. It's just people. They suck.

~Kate

OK, I'm a woman, I'm not shallow, I'm reasonably attractive, I don't want to go out to bars every night, I don't give a damn whether or not my friends think I'm dating someone cool or not. I'm not interested in winning social points. I have Aspergers, but most of the women I know don't and they're not after those things either. They want a loving man who cares about them.

I wouldn't date you. Not because you're uncool, or because you have AS, but because your attitude towards women sucks. I wouldn't want to date anyone who had such a low opinion of my entire gender. You may not see any point in making changes to yourself or your attitude, but as it seems to be you vs the world at the moment, and the world isn't going to change, it seems reasonable to consider what you might actually be doing wrong. You might want to try thinking seriously about what you have to offer a woman, rather than what women have to offer you. Give us a few reasons, other than your looks, why you're a great person to be with.

So, if women are going out with you because thier attracted to you, then give them what they want. Turn up the sexual tension and flirt with them. That's interesting to them on a primal level that trumps any social conditioning.

Problem is with us aspies is that we're incredibly BORING. I've found that to be the single trait no woman has tolerance for. I don't know about you, but what I'm able to talk about in length (my obsessions) would bore the majority of people; especially ones who are socially oriented. However, with attraction in the mix, there's more interest in how I'm looking at someone, my energy level, and the sound of my voice than what I'm actually saying.

When these hot women agree to go on a date with you, they know you're not a social butterfly. They're attracted, and all you have to do is keep feeding the reason they said "yes" in the first place.

If no women want the kind of person that you are then you have a choice to make - either change yourself to find the woman you want, or man up and stop moaning

If women don't like you how you are then there's nothing else you can do about that apart from the above. You seem to think you're entitled to have women want you. You're not.

tbh I'm surprised there haven't been more negative responses to this thread from female members. Having read your post I'm not surprised women don't want you. Sorry to be blunt dude, but it's true. Why are you surprised no women want you, if you generalise them and complain about them all while putting them all in the same group like you have?

All women are different. Perhaps the fact that you can't find one who wants you says more about yourself than it does about them?

We have to sleep sometimes. We're people, too, you know.