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Is an Aspie dating a Narcissist a recipe for disaster?

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RightGalaxy
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16 Dec 2010, 11:20 am

You've be con'd... royally!! Dummy!



RightGalaxy
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16 Dec 2010, 11:23 am

martyfan wrote:
My ex girlfriend was just like this, but she's also a very popular person. We had the most amazing sex, but we only met when SHE wanted to. She is the centre of the universe and nothing is more important than that (from her perspective). She's really cute, has big green eyes a healthy body and very nice thighs. I'm still trying to understand why she left me on valentines day this year for no clear reason, but now I'm the ass hole and she won't speak to me. I'm dating another girl now but I've never been able to let my ex go properly - but I will :wink: !

I also know what you mean by those things about her are endearing, I loved how she was. I loved how she behaved, her mannerisms and how she pouted whenever she wanted something. It's like how can somebody so cute and pretty be so horrible? It's sexy, but not realistic.

So believe me, if she is really that kind of person and if you're sensitive (like I admittedly am to this kind of thing) you will get hurt and it will take a long time to heal because you won't understand her logic - and she will kiss other men in front of you and act is if you meant nothing to her but a play thing. It's been a long time and this girl still makes my heart ache whenever I think of it.


You've been had!! :lol: She pouted?? How naive could you be?! !! JEZ!! !! Man!! Get over it already!! ! People like you enable people like her!! I don't know who needs a beating more...you or her?



martyfan
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16 Dec 2010, 1:12 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
martyfan wrote:
My ex girlfriend was just like this, but she's also a very popular person. We had the most amazing sex, but we only met when SHE wanted to. She is the centre of the universe and nothing is more important than that (from her perspective). She's really cute, has big green eyes a healthy body and very nice thighs. I'm still trying to understand why she left me on valentines day this year for no clear reason, but now I'm the ass hole and she won't speak to me. I'm dating another girl now but I've never been able to let my ex go properly - but I will :wink: !

I also know what you mean by those things about her are endearing, I loved how she was. I loved how she behaved, her mannerisms and how she pouted whenever she wanted something. It's like how can somebody so cute and pretty be so horrible? It's sexy, but not realistic.

So believe me, if she is really that kind of person and if you're sensitive (like I admittedly am to this kind of thing) you will get hurt and it will take a long time to heal because you won't understand her logic - and she will kiss other men in front of you and act is if you meant nothing to her but a play thing. It's been a long time and this girl still makes my heart ache whenever I think of it.


You've been had!! :lol: She pouted?? How naive could you be?! !! JEZ!! !! Man!! Get over it already!! ! People like you enable people like her!! I don't know who needs a beating more...you or her?


:lol: Exactly, but sadly emotions aren't logical. If they were we wouldn't get hurt! It is stupid and I was naive and I even knew that at the time in my head. But yeah :D It's a recipe for disaster.



Mack27
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16 Dec 2010, 4:40 pm

MidlifeAspie wrote:
Mack27 wrote:
Thanks guys. I'll be careful, but I am having fun for now. As far as the cynical thing goes, well yeah, she's the only woman in a long time that wanted a second date. She doesn't have the power to hurt me yet, but she'll get there if we keep going like this.


So why did you ask?


Because I wanted some input. I'm still feeling her out also, she may have some narcissistic traits but she might not be a full blown narcissist.



Mack27
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16 Dec 2010, 4:42 pm

martyfan wrote:
My ex girlfriend was just like this, but she's also a very popular person. We had the most amazing sex, but we only met when SHE wanted to. She is the centre of the universe and nothing is more important than that (from her perspective). She's really cute, has big green eyes a healthy body and very nice thighs. I'm still trying to understand why she left me on valentines day this year for no clear reason, but now I'm the ass hole and she won't speak to me. I'm dating another girl now but I've never been able to let my ex go properly - but I will :wink: !

I also know what you mean by those things about her are endearing, I loved how she was. I loved how she behaved, her mannerisms and how she pouted whenever she wanted something. It's like how can somebody so cute and pretty be so horrible? It's sexy, but not realistic.

So believe me, if she is really that kind of person and if you're sensitive (like I admittedly am to this kind of thing) you will get hurt and it will take a long time to heal because you won't understand her logic - and she will kiss other men in front of you and act is if you meant nothing to her but a play thing. It's been a long time and this girl still makes my heart ache whenever I think of it.


That sounds a lot like her and I how I'm feeling. I don't know yet though.



MidlifeAspie
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16 Dec 2010, 5:09 pm

Mack27 wrote:
Because I wanted some input.


All the input was "RUN" and your response was "I'm having fun". It is starting to sound less like a request for advice and more like some strange sort of bragging.



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16 Dec 2010, 5:33 pm

MidlifeAspie wrote:
Mack27 wrote:
Because I wanted some input.


All the input was "RUN" and your response was "I'm having fun". It is starting to sound less like a request for advice and more like some strange sort of bragging.


At the point you asked it was 6 to 2 in favor of running. Maybe it is some strange sort of bragging. I thought it was just sharing and looking for input.



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16 Dec 2010, 6:14 pm

I second the poster who said don't have kids, but otherwise live and learn.



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17 Dec 2010, 5:26 am

Xeno wrote:
I think anyone dating a really narcissistic person is a recipe for disaster.


That.



MCalavera
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17 Dec 2010, 5:28 am

Quote:
You've been had!! :lol: She pouted?? How naive could you be?! !! JEZ!! !! Man!! Get over it already!! ! People like you enable people like her!! I don't know who needs a beating more...you or her?


That, too.



Shebakoby
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18 Dec 2010, 3:55 am

anybody dating a narcissist is a recipe for disaster.



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19 Dec 2010, 2:40 pm

If she's a full blown narcissist, leave now. The attention/sex/company wont be worth the emotional scaring in the future. NPD is arguably a lesser version of sociopathy. Every sociopath is certainly a narcissist though. If its NPD remember her personality is completely fake, what you are seeing doesn't exist, its just an image designed to most efficiently manipulate/damage you you. I have seen so many other aspies (or at least extremely socially inept guys) get manipulated by narcissists. The narcissist is adept at sniffing out vulnerable people, and like it or not most aspies will be more vulnerable than the avergae guy, unless you are extremely perceptive.

Narcissists are hunters, they prey on other people and have developed a supersense for possible victims. They will read your aspergers as weakness (and read it easily they will even if they cant put a name to it), they will see you as ret*d and hurt you becasue they are emotional sadists. They have almost no emotions, except for shame, anger and fear. emotions are what make you HUMAN!

Now maybe she isnt full blown.. but is it really worth the risk? I wouldnt risk an emotional connection with anyone even remotely narcissitic and Ive analyzed tonnes of these s**ts.

Imagine having aspie children that had a narc mother and for the rest of their lives the kids attracted other ABOMINATIONS (becasue thats what usually happens if your parent is a narcissist) kids would already be in hell.



mv
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19 Dec 2010, 2:45 pm

Revival wrote:
If she's a full blown narcissist, leave now. The attention/sex/company wont be worth the emotional scaring in the future. NPD is arguably a lesser version of sociopathy. Every sociopath is certainly a narcissist though. If its NPD remember her personality is completely fake, what you are seeing doesn't exist, its just an image designed to most efficiently manipulate/damage you you. I have seen so many other aspies (or at least extremely socially inept guys) get manipulated by narcissists. The narcissist is adept at sniffing out vulnerable people, and like it or not most aspies will be more vulnerable than the avergae guy, unless you are extremely perceptive.

Narcissists are hunters, they prey on other people and have developed a supersense for possible victims. They will read your aspergers as weakness (and read it easily they will even if they cant put a name to it), they will see you as ret*d and hurt you becasue they are emotional sadists. They have almost no emotions, except for shame, anger and fear. emotions are what make you HUMAN!

Now maybe she isnt full blown.. but is it really worth the risk? I wouldnt risk an emotional connection with anyone even remotely narcissitic and Ive analyzed tonnes of these s**ts.

Imagine having aspie children that had a narc mother and for the rest of their lives the kids attracted other ABOMINATIONS (becasue thats what usually happens if your parent is a narcissist) kids would already be in hell.


This. 100%. I was married to one, and I'm still scarred, many years after our divorce.



HopeGrows
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19 Dec 2010, 3:03 pm

Revival wrote:
If she's a full blown narcissist, leave now. The attention/sex/company wont be worth the emotional scaring in the future. NPD is arguably a lesser version of sociopathy. Every sociopath is certainly a narcissist though. If its NPD remember her personality is completely fake, what you are seeing doesn't exist, its just an image designed to most efficiently manipulate/damage you you. I have seen so many other aspies (or at least extremely socially inept guys) get manipulated by narcissists. The narcissist is adept at sniffing out vulnerable people, and like it or not most aspies will be more vulnerable than the avergae guy, unless you are extremely perceptive.

Narcissists are hunters, they prey on other people and have developed a supersense for possible victims. They will read your aspergers as weakness (and read it easily they will even if they cant put a name to it), they will see you as ret*d and hurt you becasue they are emotional sadists. They have almost no emotions, except for shame, anger and fear. emotions are what make you HUMAN!

Now maybe she isnt full blown.. but is it really worth the risk? I wouldnt risk an emotional connection with anyone even remotely narcissitic and Ive analyzed tonnes of these s**ts.

Imagine having aspie children that had a narc mother and for the rest of their lives the kids attracted other ABOMINATIONS (becasue thats what usually happens if your parent is a narcissist) kids would already be in hell.


^This, x 1000. Sorry OP, but it's really not better to be with anyone than it is to be alone. Being with a partner who is not afraid to ruthlessly manipulate you in order to satisfy his/her own needs is begging for heartbreak. You can't be surprised when she obliges.


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AngeLove
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19 Dec 2010, 6:07 pm

I've dated a narcissist and yes, it's a bad bad bad idea to date one.

First he (or she) seems like a perfect match, and most people who know him like him.
Second he will slowly let go of his fake appearance and you will start to wonder if you fell in love with him or his fake appearance.
Third you'll see what he is truly like...
And finally you will want to lock all doors and windows. But the narcissist has the keys already and will try to keep draining you for months or years in some cases.



alicedress
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20 Dec 2010, 8:19 pm

Xeno wrote:
I think anyone dating a really narcissistic person is a recipe for disaster.


My thoughts exactly.