To date or not to date?

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Does anyone know if it was possible to know if it is one's destiny to be a true loner or not? I ask because I am a 31 year old male who is so frustrated and I simply do not know what to do in life. I want to have a sex life so badly but it doesn't seem like I have any motivation to talk to women and I don't seem to know how to handle them at all. Sure I have my own interests to keep me busy but is that enough? I mean, I just want to know where I should focus my time, money, resources and energy. I can't think of myself as being sexual or being with a partner since it seems like I am destined to be a loner. Sometimes I think sex doesn't really exist at all! So what should I do? Should I just stay a loner or should I do otherwise?

If you can't figure out what you want, no one else can help you.

I am guessing your problems comes down to "which effort is more worthwhile?"

You can filp a coin and decide you will either commit yourself to finding a relationship or to applying yourself to getting interesting work. If you are disappointed with the results of the coin flip, that tells you what you need to know. Of course this is an excessively simple way of deciding, but it can help you find your way.

Based only on the paragraph you wrote in your post, I would say, give up on the hope for a relationship. Set that part of life aside as if it were a well written book that you had no interest in reading. Focus your attention on things you find truly interesting. Accept the fact that no matter what you do, parts of your life will feel incomplete. Nobody gets to have everything in life.

But if you choose to set relationships aside, remember that nothing is locked in place. You can change your mind next year or next week. The important thing is to do something that is valuable to you right now.

I believe everyone is destined to be with someone, except the ones that don't really want to. And based on what you said, I think is not a matter of wanting to be with someone, it's a matter of knowing how to.

Personally, when I was in high school I had my share of social problems, I didn't date at all for a long time, but I always knew that eventually I would marry some day. And I did. I think it is more than just destiny, it's common sense. Get to know a lot of people and eventually you'll find someone you like, and you'll make it work somehow.

My advice for people who don't know what to do is: anything goes. I started by getting out of the house and taking a walk at night. Going to a coffee shop and reading a book (or writing one, in my case). The first times will be weird, then you'll get used to it. And when that happens, it's time to start doing something else.

Depends on if you want to be with someone or not.