Take on why males have more trouble.. in general

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I had a girlfriend once. I think she was kind of a mean person and hopefully not indicative of womankind as a whole. It bothers me when people get really upset cause I have some sort of suicide phobia. She always would get real upset with me at real inappropriate times like in front of my friends and family, which was embarassing and she would just run off and id think "what if she goes and kills herself?" and then I would be embarassed and frightened which is never a good state to be in

I dont think she could be described as complicated or anything. Just volatile. People are pretty easy to figure out regardless of their gender.

ROFL at first I thought those were the same car.
I know nothing about cars.

If we're going to take all the stereotypes on this thread and run with them,
I guess I'm a male.
I'm unabashedly blunt and straightforward, and say what I mean.

Aspie men do get called weird-
but that doesn't mean aspie women "fly under the radar".
In my experience, we get called "b*****s" or "rude"-
for the exact same behavior.

There are two types of women; the ones you attract, and the ones you are attracted to. Same with women and attraction. I understand people a lot better than they understand me, but even though I understand these signals, I don't consider it worth my time to tell her what she wants to hear. Girls like that see themselves as a prize to be won, and it's not a prize, it's a punishment. I know this all too well.

The point is, men are easy to figure out... their wants, desires, etc. Often fairly simplistic. You can more easily adjust each knob to the exact setting needed.

Women on the other hand, it's just hit the switch and pray it works out the way you want it to...

I don't always see women not saying what they mean as women in general. (Tho maybe it is a trait more common within the gender)

I do see women dropping hints more than guys, that's definitely a trait that I can't stand. I am incredibly straight forward and blunt to the point it can lack tact sometimes. (At least in my body language, and flat voice)

I prefer someone to flat out say something, than dance around an issue because they "want me to want to do it".

Men typically only really need one knob adjusting

I think I'm funny.

...Then may all the switches consider themselves flicked;)

This post reminds me of an ep of That 70s Show. Eric pulls Donna's pants down to win a game of basketball & she has on granny-panties. She gets mad at him & he apologizes & she tells him it's fine. He latter gives her nice panties as a present & she gets upset at him again. Eric is talking with the guys about it & he says something like she said it was fine so I thought it was cool, to laugh about it, why would she say it was fine if she wasn't fine. Meanwhile Donna is talking to Jackie & Donna says~ When I told Eric that it was fine, I didn't mean it was fine rite now, I meant that he should kiss my a$$ for two weeks to make up for it.

Stuff like that is exactly why I do NOT understand women. A stand-up comic joked that women understand men a lot better than men understand women. A woman never chases after a crying guy yelling what did I do wrong.

Sense us Aspies are generally more logical, direct & straight forward; this is one of the many rezones why we have such a hard time with women. I think a lot of us guys would be better off if we were gay.

The only place I ever see women dropping hints and being misunderstood by men is on sitcoms. I've seen girls drop hints for their boyfriends in real life, but they do it in a way that makes it so obvious what they want that the boyfriend must've been a knucklehead if he still doesn't get it.

I have trouble understanding people not when they're beating around the bush but when they say something vague or when they tell me to do something that seems impractical to me. It normally takes several hours before my subconscious suddenly understands their train of thought, but it will get there and I don't resent those people for not adjusting themselves for my benefit.

Last edited by menintights on 05 Jan 2011, 11:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I can say that as a woman, and perhaps because I am an Aspie woman, I am not like that at all (referring to the OP's post). I don't play games and wouldn't know how to if I wanted to. I don't think I'm at all hard to figure out. What I used to say to my bf was that I didn't want him to do anything for me, I just wanted him to be my sweetie. And I meant that. In the end he was the one who was much harder to figure out because he was smooth and a yes man, and I never knew what it was he wanted exactly.

And if I was a car, I would be a bicycle: all the emotional and mental works in full view.

On a more humorous note though I know some of the guys on something like an electronic music production forum would love this . Take the man and women tags off of it and they might be asking if its Moog, Sequential Circuits. I'd figure they do like their women exactly like that, though they may offer that it may need some CV ports and information on where the oscillators, LFOs, envelopes, and filters are. Other than that she's perfect and probably sounds great pumped into a good set of studio monitors!

I like the illustration. Although in my opinion, the switch on the box labelled "man" should be labelled food/sex rather than on/off. For some men you could probably add an extra button labelled "football" too.

I like to think I'm a little more complex than the illustration for men, but not as complex as a full on modular Moog.

@hale_bopp, I don't think the example you provided above actually proves your point (that women are more emotionally complicated than men). Your bf hit up on your roommate - in front of you. That's a pretty glaring example of being a world-class manipulator, rather than an emotionally straightforward guy. (Unless you believe that he truly didn't know that hitting up on your roommate in front of you was unacceptable behavior - I don't get that impression from your post.)

Your response to him was probably equally manipulative: you went quiet, slept on the couch, and told him he was extremely replaceable the next day. I'd say you gave as good as you got.

But your example actually proves that men are just as emotionally complicated as women. After all, your bf started this little drama, didn't he? It seems to me that what he really wanted was to show you who had the power in the relationship. For whatever reason, he felt the need to demonstrate - in front of your roommate - that he considered you extremely replaceable. He disrespected you, he attempted to devalue you.....a total d!ck move.

You responded by punishing him with isolation (silence and distance), and then by telling him very directly that he was the one who was powerless in the relationship - because he could leave, and you'd forget him in a heartbeat.

So keeping in mind that I've learned the following - the hard way - it would have been healthier, at least, if he had talked to you about how the relationship was triggering his insecurities, or how he felt less desired by you, or how he felt taken for granted, or whatever (who knows why he decided to behave so badly?). It would have been healthier, at least, if you had told him very plainly that his behavior was not okay with you, and that it hurt and humiliated you terribly. It would also have been okay to throw out a few conditions and/or consequences should the behavior be repeated, and hopefully, to open a dialog about just what the hell his problem was.

I've been on the receiving end of plenty of man-made drama. IMO, there's nothing about the Y chromosome that is a drama repellent. Each of us has a choice when confronted with drama and/or manipulation: respond in kind; respond differently; ignore it. There's no guarantee of "success" with any path in particular. You can say, "Hey, that's not okay with me. You really hurt me, and I don't want you to do that again." It doesn't mean your partner is going to respond well to it, at all. He may push you away, make excuses, dump you, be nasty....any combination of the above (plus more), really. But at least you'll have the comfort of knowing you dealt with him in a way you can be proud of. Frankly, when a guy turns your relationship into a power struggle, e.g., I can walk away any time; You're way more into me than I'm into you; If you want to be with someone else, I'd never beg you to stay; My ex was nicer, prettier, kinkier, smarter, etc., than you; I wish you were as hot as your friend.....your relationship is functionally over at that point anyway. You might as well end it with the rest of your dignity intact.

So..I am basically wrong that I have a very difficult time reading my boyfriend..I just think I do, because my mind works in more complicated circles on the issue...

I didn't want to poke my nose in here because the thread started out light-hearted, but now that it has turned a bit more serious --

Hale bopp, what does it mean that he "perved" at your roommate? Does that mean leered, or actually hit on her?

Most guys leer -- it is involuntary to some extent, and it is also not personal (i.e. we don't just leer at people we like, we leer at women period). If his eyes drifting to your roommates bosom or behind was the triggering event, I think I feel more sorry for him than you, because the loss of a relationship seems a steep price to pay for something he can barely help, and something relatively minor in the big scheme of things.

If it was that he indeed hit on her (and by that, I mean actually expressed interest in going out with her, not just friendly chit-chat) -- well, stupid of him, and worth the punishment he got.

Just curious.