Female aspies attracted to males

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So I was reading this list of traits of Aspergers girls: http://www.help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58 ... 83e339.JPG
so this is 1 that stuck out to me:

"If she likes a male, she can be extremely noticeably awkward in her attempts to let him know, e.g. she might stare at him when she sees him or call him repeatedly. This is because she fixates and doesn't understand societal gender roles. This will change with maturity."

So I was intiatially slightly offended by this comment. True I didnt understand societal gender roles, its the this will change with maturity part. So I guess we become better at adhering to societal gender roles? I first looked at that list of female maybe a year ago(not sure). And Ive now realized this true for me. I had a crush on a guy 2 years ago, I followed him, I showed up at his room a lot, called him, texted him, etc. And I did all these really weird things to get his attention. Sure it got his attention but not in the right way, I eventually drove him crazy and he sorta ended up telling me how what I was doing, I shouldnt be doing(I dont precisely remember). So now I like a guy, Im so much more cautious not to do things that'll repel him. In the end, I do want attention but I don't want attention for the wrong reasons. So I guess for me, this is changing with maturity. So is this the case for many of you aspie girls?

I used to chase guys around telling them I loved them right away. They got scared of me and always turned me down.

But now that I'm older, I try to flirt with them in more subtle ways and more importantly I try to play "hard to get". This leaves the guy chasing after me instead of the other way around, and it's a lot more fun that way.

I guess this works if you know how to flirt in the way that can subtly mess with the guys head like the NT girls do. When you got no clue how to do this and your a super straightfoward person...this doesn't work so much. In terms of flirting goes, all I do is laugh at his jokes and mannerisms. Which a lot of girls do cause they find him amusing. He's a witty, funny guy.

its depend on her

Guys like it when Girls are not "too domineering".. This doesn't mean girls have to be passive, but to give the guy his masculinity.

Guys also like it when a girl is loyal and not too "show offy". Personally, for me I don't like it when Girls use "bad words".

It is kind of a turn off. I guess its just me but I prefer the sweet, nice girl.. for me looks arent THAT important..

Thats interesting since that's practically the only way I'd notice a girl was interested in me. I really hate it when, months later (after the girl gives up and gets another guy) my classmates or coworkers mention to me how she was sending 'signals' my way trying to hook up with me.

The more attracted I am to a guy, the more he's certain I absolutely hate him after we have our first meeting. I'm so awkward that I actually push the guy away because I'm trying to maintain some control of myself. It takes a few discussions for me to get into a comfortable place and for him to realize that "omg! she does actually like me". That probably works well for their egos, thinking that they won me over or something.

Then I have to reign it in. Don't call too much. Don't email too much. Don't drop by too much. Don't make the dating arrangements too much. Don't buy him things. etc etc etc etc... That can be difficult and it is maturity to gain that self-control not to give into those tendencies.

When I was younger (18 - early 20's) I would totally puppydog a guy. But then I'd cheat on him, too. It was all about instant gratification and immaturity. Without understanding what was really going on in my head and why I had these tendencies and feelings, I had no clue that any of it was actually wrong.

The only two things that don't fit me on that list is the androgyny in Appearance/Personal Habits and the savant skill in Intellectual/giftedness/education/vocation. I actually printed that out, highlighted (didn't realize when I'd started how much I'd be highlighting), and added notes to customize how a trait really fits me. For example, I scratch my skin as a tick under stress, in addition to leg-bouncing.

I don't know if it changed with maturity, but I began to be cautious of making my feelings known only after I found out the friends of the second person I liked was making fun of him for being the one I liked.



Mind games are stupid, as is flirting. People who'd prefer that you do these things probably wouldn't be compatible with you anyway, so don't bother.

I'm in the cult of the girl telling me that they like me. I don't want to play games so I won't receive your signals.

I WISH a woman would be like that with me


This is confusing as hell for AS guys & can cause lots of problems

yeah but most NTs seem to have this subtle signals crap with attraction. Im getting the idea that we as girls have to flirt more subtly then wait for the guys to take the first step. It also seems that there's a lot of awkwardness that holds people back even NTs when it comes to the dating world with being upfront and obvious.