Nice Guys and Love, what's your take on the issue

Post Reply New Topic

I have to agree.

Nice guys can be dangerous....because they aren't honest. Girls can't trust a guy who can't be honest.

Take the example of being late for a date. Girl arrives 40 minutes late and guy is irritated. She apologizes, and guy assures her "no no it's ok. it's fine."
Brushes his real feelings under the table. Too worried about upsetting her, is he?

Now compound this approach over months, years. Now we're talking serious repressed resentment towards her for things she'll never know. These resentments will surface either with vengeance or as passive aggressive behavior. Not cool.

Be honest guys!

You can be "nice," but what women hate is a man who is not confident. As long as you are not aloof and look confident and caring, you will be attractive. Done this before numerous times. Women do actually hate someone who is rude and nasty, even if he does not act that way with them.

True.

And if nice guy means not cheating on women because my word means something to myself, then I'm a very nice guy. Being loyal to partners is a gift you give yourself as much as them. ive seen the psychological damage that cheating causes and how it can affect people. You can scar people for life.

Don't let adolescent views of nice/bad confuse you. Don't be afraid to make passes at women who attract you, treat them as equals, be funny, etc. That's all you need. I can fight and be nasty, and have done so in the past, but it never seemed to make a positive impression on a woman who witnessed it. Since then Ive grown up. Just my two cents.

I love nice guys!! I'm not the least bit interested in a jerky, douchey type. it would be so sad I'd there were no nice guys left in the world, they're the only ones I'm interested in like That .

This is interesting.I like nice guys, only nice guys, but buttfaces seem to attract to me like flies attract to poop and if they are good at being charming and manipulative, then I just might fall for it....at first, then I get out very quickly.

Every girl here who says she prefers nice guys needs to define what she means by "nice guy".

And she needs to make clear the distinction between "mere affectionate sisterly liking" and "sexual liking".

I'm a nice guy and im no butterface but for some reason women with me don't seem to get the impression i'm flirting with them or like them, that i'm just being friendly. Alot of women around kent seem to prefer harder blokes, you can tell the type of guys they walk around with

Nice guys.....

Are confident, but not wrapped up in themselves. They genuinely care how your day was too.

If your hands are full, they can take the time to pause Halo, so that you don't trip down the stairs.

Understand that you need your own time and space, but don't get jealous or psycho about it.

Don't cheat.

Just some examples.

Real nice guys don't make an effort to be nice to get a relationship or a shag.

They're actually good people, confident, friendly and interesting.

I just try to be the best I can, and as far as making the first move and communicating directly, I have improved very well in that regard, but it wasn't enough for one person I really wanted to be with.

She claimed that because I asked for relationship advice online, I was unable to communicate directly, and was weak and unmotivated. In other words, she judged my entire personality on things she assumed about me (based on only one situation), rather than give me a chance to explain things.

Sounds like her loss, not yours. There's nothing wrong with getting relationship advice so that you can go back and effectively communicate with that person. I don't see how that makes you unmotivated. If anything, it sounds like you were trying to better the relationship.

And she thinks that things can never be improved upon, that you have to be born doing things the way she does, and any attempt to improve is an attempt to intentionally deceive her. And she considers anyone who tells her otherwise to be a manipulator.

I am a nice guy, serious, forthcoming, kind, caring, sincere and I am single almost always with the exception of two relationships, one for a year the other for a year and a half (in America). When I was living abroad, I had a few other relationships as well.

I would never hit a girl and never have. I always help the elderly, open doors for women, give my seat up on the subway, bus, in a relationship I am kind and caring and almost never get into an argument unless I feel I am legitimately wronged.

In college I was robbed and drugged in college by fellow students who did that for a living, they roofied girls, robbed people, sold drugs... They all had beautiful girlfriends and still do or have many female suitors probably hotter than I have every been with.
In high school there was a kid who would beat up his girlfriend all the time, I told people about it and he knocked me out, he still has a girlfriend and still beats her.
I knew many guys that would talk about all of the girls they are hooking up with behind there back, these girls had legitimate feelings, some even thought they were in a monogamous relationship with these guys. All most all the time they are either one, a combination of or all of the following: tall, handsome, chizzled abs, well connected, wealthy, persuasive (con artist types), British accent,

There are examples like this everywhere, nice guys do finish last. It is not until later in life women look for nice guys, after they have been "wild" or been hurt, or their biological clock has set in.

In other words, the look for nice guys when they want to actually reproduce?
Genetically, that's the exact opposite of 'finishing last.'

More of them look for nicer guys when they want to reproduce, unfortunately many times they don't succeed in finding the suitor that is most compatible with them, the women who once d looked for the player, wild guy, flashy peacock with cash, gab and looks, now they look for a peacock with potential fathering qualities, one that is more likely to stick around, the problem is that in America not all women want to settle down and have kids and it may not be until their late 40's, 50's and 60's that they look back and regret their single hood, now a days there are many women who have children out of wedlock and decide not to marry, and yes there are some who look for the nice guy to settle down with, physical appearance, social status and economics become less of importance in non-citified areas, places like Manhattan stay extremely competitive for men until old age.

The problem with this is take for example me, I am 26 and alone, I do not want to wait my whole life for a viable suitor or until women have experienced their proverbial freedom period, I am open to new dating practices (although I prefer a monogamous relationship,) , IE hookups, casual encounters.... but I do not possess the traits valued in America by younger women ages 18-30, so forced abstinence, loneliness have been my reality in America, with the exception of a one year relationship in college and high school.

To remedy this I flocked south and there my traits were highly sought after, although our culture through globalism has also plagued most of the world, the more attractive a women is the less she wants to commit. (with the exception of a women raised with good parents, morals, etc.... Highly rare). I was there for three years and my dating life was highly active, I had three more relationships and was almost never alone.

I agree with some of the above users. It depends what is meant by "nice guy". Nice guy, in the context it is often used in dating, does not actually mean a guy who is nice, but rather an an archetype, one which many Aspies and "nerds" can fall into if they are not careful.

These are usually the negative qualities of the "nice guy" archetype:
- Low standards
- Low self-esteem
- Lack of confidence
- Passive, shy
- Boring, uninteresting
- Unassertive
- Spineless
- Fainthearted
- Afraid to disagree
- Predictable
- Desperate, clingy
- Subservient

Basically, people who are willing to date any woman they see. Women who want a relationship, go for a mutual relationship of 50/50. They wouldn't bother for a needy desperate lowly "nice guy"; they want a man and not a mouse. The men (and women) who inferiorate themselves often end up as hosts to be victim of a parasite in a 25/75 relationship.

For a relationship to work, there needs to be some degree of sexual attraction. If theres no attraction, it is just a friendship, and that is where many "nice guys" end up for being too "nice". It is possible to fix the above qualities without being a jerk.

Some "nice guys" are just fake actors and far from "nice". Some intend well. For those "nice guys" who intend well, I know you can't help but be very nice to her, but keep in mind, it works like a Chinese finger trap. If you try too much, you get the opposite of the intended result.