Anyone out there happy about being single?

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Grisha
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26 Feb 2011, 9:23 pm

I'm pretty much at the point that I'm ready to stop banging my head against the romance wall, I gave it my best shot and it just didn't work out.

Anyone out there just give up on the whole thing and just forget about it and move on?

How did you do it? What is it like? Any tips for making it easier?



Jonsi
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26 Feb 2011, 9:29 pm

I'm not. I hate it. But I know that if I did get into a relationship right now it would be guarenteed to fail.

I just occupy myself with other things to keep my mind off it.



hale_bopp
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26 Feb 2011, 9:42 pm

I'm usually happy single.

If you worry about being hurt by the opposite sex just close your emotions off and not give s sh*t about them.



Idiotchief
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26 Feb 2011, 9:49 pm

I'm growing out my goatie which she always hated. Freedom!! !


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curlyfry
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26 Feb 2011, 9:58 pm

I must be pretty content cause it has been about ten years. But then, I am not alone and have my kids around even if we do not interact too much except when we want to discuss things. I might be a bit afraid of commitment. My things are my things. I neither ask nor require any approval if I want to splurge on things totally impractical or if I want to takeoff somewhere be it movie, slopes, beach or the woods.



Grisha
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26 Feb 2011, 10:29 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I'm usually happy single.

If you worry about being hurt by the opposite sex just close your emotions off and not give s sh*t about them.


Actually, I'm happy in general, I just would prefer not to be single.

I don't think it's possible/desirable to close off your emotions but you can definitely make the choice not to give a sh*t about them. It's so easy to fall into the trap of not giving a sh*t about the person who rejected you, it's much better and healthier to simply refuse to pander to your emotions - this is a good point...

Also, you certainly can't complain about the freedom, I can do what I want, go where I want, spend what I want, so what if you have to do it alone? and who cares about "dying alone" - you'll be dead, how could it possibly bother you?



blondieamc
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26 Feb 2011, 10:30 pm

I went for almost 6 years without being in a relationship. I was at a point where I was really happy being alone and just enjoying the love that I had in my life with my family, friends and the children that I teach. And then.... I joined match.com and I met a great guy who has AS. We met and instantly fell in love and it was really great until it was not really great and that lasted for 4 months. Ever since we broke up I have been really sad about the break up and I miss him a lot but there is more to it than that. This relationship reminded me that I had been suppressing a basic need for a long time and that need is to love and to be loved in romantic way. I am still trying to heal from this break up but it was huge wake up call that I had been neglecting one of the most important parts of life because I was scared of being rejected.Now I feel like I am on this fence and I have to decide if I am going to get back out there and try and find the happiness I had for a few months or am I going to wait until I am back at the place where I was before. It would be so much easier if I could just snap back to where I was before but now I have been reminded of how beautiful love can be and I desperately want to taste that again. I have spent so much time on this site trying to figure out what happened in my relationship but what I ended up finding out is that it really does not matter what your neurology situation is we all want love.



BottleCap
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26 Feb 2011, 10:34 pm

I never have been in a relationship and I don't plan to be in one soon. It's also a win/win situation for me. I don't know if this could change.



Grisha
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26 Feb 2011, 10:37 pm

blondieamc wrote:
I went for almost 6 years without being in a relationship. I was at a point where I was really happy being alone and just enjoying the love that I had in my life with my family, friends and the children that I teach. And then.... I joined match.com and I met a great guy who has AS. We met and instantly fell in love and it was really great until it was not really great and that lasted for 4 months. Ever since we broke up I have been really sad about the break up and I miss him a lot but there is more to it than that. This relationship reminded me that I had been suppressing a basic need for a long time and that need is to love and to be loved in romantic way. I am still trying to heal from this break up but it was huge wake up call that I had been neglecting one of the most important parts of life because I was scared of being rejected.Now I feel like I am on this fence and I have to decide if I am going to get back out there and try and find the happiness I had for a few months or am I going to wait until I am back at the place where I was before. It would be so much easier if I could just snap back to where I was before but now I have been reminded of how beautiful love can be and I desperately want to taste that again. I have spent so much time on this site trying to figure out what happened in my relationship but
what I ended up finding out is that it really does not matter what your neurology situation is we all want love.


So you were fine until you joined Match.com? I'm not saying it is ideal, but what was so terrible about being single? If you had successfully suppressed your desires, why didn't you just stick with it?

This is not criticism, I just am interested in knowing what caused you to "relapse"...



Pobodys_Nerfect
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26 Feb 2011, 10:46 pm

By keeping busy and fit and not losing hope. At least it's something to look forward to.



blondieamc
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26 Feb 2011, 10:56 pm

It was a fluke :) I have no idea why I decided to join match and I have no idea how I fell in love and how things got so screwed up. I am going to go ahead and plead the 5th on that one and I think this community will accept that because I am 100 % NT . There was no master plan and I can promise you that there is no place I would rather be than where I was before I met him. That was a safe place and it was a place where I understood the rules and found a lot of success. Right now I am just kind of hanging out and trying to process all of it.
Maybe losing my mom made me aware that life is short and that we have to take chances if we want to find love. Maybe I was tired of living a life that was void of passion.



bucephalus
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26 Feb 2011, 11:33 pm

I'm happy at the moment, it is still too soon for me to worry about these things


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techstepgenr8tion
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26 Feb 2011, 11:47 pm

For the current five minutes of my life - perhaps. I'm staying very busy with personal renovations and improvements, things that I feel are essential to my future financial and emotional health. That's not to say that I'd turn away the right person, just that.... I don't know if its technically against the rules but I'd hope she'd be understanding of just how busy I am right now.


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Peko
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27 Feb 2011, 12:02 am

YES


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Esther
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27 Feb 2011, 12:50 am

Grisha, I know of this shelter... :mrgreen:



LordoftheMonkeys
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27 Feb 2011, 2:19 am

I don't really care about a relationship. Girls are too complicated for me. I'll take a good terminal with 20 programming languages over a girlfriend any day. If I found a girl with a command-line interface whom I could program in C or Ruby, that would be the most awesome thing ever.


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