I don't want to date poor people

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Does this make me a bad person?
I'm middle class and I only want to date people who are middle or upper class. Yet I always seem to have people poorer then me ask me and I feel bad when that is the main reason I don't want to go out with them but it's true.
Also when poor people want to date me how do I brush them off?

Whatever you do, don't tell them that it's because they are poor.

I don't think it makes you a bad person.

BTW, you may want to rent Pretty in Pink.

No worse than those who reject people on the basis of looks or neurodiversity.

Just tell them thanks but no. You don't have to say anything other than thanks but you're not my type.

I don't care if I date poor people, If the man I loved lost all his money I would still love him and want him. But I DO care if there is a class difference. I'm generally not attracted to working class people because they have nothing in common with me or my lifestyle.

I can't relate to rough or basic people. I can pretend to be like them when working with them but thats as far as it goes. Class, education and intelligence do matter.

Money doesn't though.

Just my stand on it.

That is what Yacht Clubs and Country Clubs are for.

If you are not a member of the Yacht or Country club then who are you to dump on people for being poor?
........,....

I'll add to this post. When I was a teenager I was in the same Church group as a girl called "Sandra".
She wasn't very pretty and she wasn't very smart, but boy, did she have a high opinion of herself.

Once she said to me "I will only marry a doctor or a lawyer"

I said "You are just a snob"

"She said, "Oh, no. I am not a snob. If I were a snob then I wouldn't be best friends with Jane. Her father only runs a gas station"

Well "Jane" was a doll she was a 9 out of ten. She was beautiful and sweet and intelligent and all one could ask for in a girl.

A few years later I ran into Jane and she told me that Sandra had married.

I asked "Was he a doctor or a lawyer?"
She said "A lawyer".

Poor sod. I feel sorry for him.

Last edited by Wombat on 12 Mar 2011, 12:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

When a poor person asks you out you should throw money into the air and when they grovel around on the ground trying to pick it up, you run away.

But seriously, you don't need a tailor made excuse for every contingency. No should work.

ah, well, I'll tell you the honest truth...my story...

I was raised to not look at money when determining who to date...so that's how I thought I should be. I dated a few guys who were either middle class or upper class (we were middle class, I thought...maybe a little upper, just didn't show it much) and I hated the fact that they felt that class had a major impact on whom they decided to date. Fact is, it seemed that I just couldn't deal with someone like that...although they had no problem with me.

Eventually, out of all the guys that I could have married, I married the poorest...he was raised poor and was poor when we met. I helped him get a better job, etc...I supported our home for many years...eventually, he did much better...we actually get along pretty well...our major issues in our relationship? MONEY! Yes, his family has always hated me and been jealous of what I had, how I grew up, how WE together lived thanks to me, etc...his ex-wife even more, of course, she was lower class and actually, a big loser...Everyday I realize more how much I've had to give up, how much our son has had to sacrifice because of this...and yes, I do love my husband...but if I had to do it all again, I can tell you that marriages are difficult enough without having the family jealous of you, how you live, how you were raised...it's as if we couldn't have anything nice without them attempting to take it from us, to ask us for stuff (they all just have babies and sit on their behinds), etc...and life is too short to have people like that in your life. I'm not saying that I need someone to support me, or that I want someone rich...but I think that our life would have been much easier if his family was at least as well off as mine, etc...as that jealousy, constant attempting to make us feel bad for living well, or worse, doing anything they could to take away from us has truly drained our relationship and we now have ended up with the choice of our son having no contact with ANYONE in his family to keep him away from the jealousy, etc...we can't have a dinner together and talk about a vacation without the snobby remarks, etc...and believe me, I am NOT a snob. I worked my behind off for 20yrs to have what I had...it's mostly gone thanks to the jealousy of his family and ex and of course, the fact that his crappy family never taught my husband how to balance a checkbook, how to have a decent life, etc...it's taken years for him to finally understand and we are now 42yrs old...the only reason I have remained is because he is very good to our son and our son loves him dearly...otherwise, the nightmare of his jealous family, ex and kid he has with his ex (who of course, lives better than us now because although her mom is a loser, the courts make him pay her as if she deserved it and not our son...of course, I SACRIFICED myself, my income to give him that better job, he would have never had that job if he had remained with the loser he was married to before...)...etc...

So, my advice, continue to do what you are doing. This does NOT mean you have to be mean to people who have less than you...honestly, as my husband, he is a very nice person...not his fault he had such crappy parents that never taught him how to balance a checkbook, etc...but just tell them you're not interested...

Good luck...sorry for being brutally honest...and anyone else who may be offended...but the more you have in common with how you were raised with your spouse/girlfriend, etc...the better your relationship will be...

Jealousy from family members is not something anyone should have to deal with. It's not because people from different classes are bad people, sometimes you just can't gel with each other.

Everyone has their standards...

How do you know they are poor? And is it actually an issue of money alone, or like Hale_Bopp said, is it a class thing?

Since atheists got to poo-poo in the religion thread, I'm going to do my thing here:

There is no middle class. It's a marketing gimmick used by politicians to get you to support whatever crap they're trying to sell.

That being said, date whomever you want. If materialism is that important to you, you shouldn't be wasting poor people's time, anyway. You should look only toward people with wealth who are willing to waste it in extravagant ways. It's a lifestyle choice.

ROFL!

Bad trust fund baby. No sympathy.

One of the things you might be up against is that rich people want to date either other rich people or middle class people who are very, very attractive or have some other positive thing going for them, such as advanced education. People want to date others of similar circumstance because a large wealth disparity makes the richer person possibly feel used and it makes the poorer person possibly feel an uncomfortable sense of obligation because of the wealth that the other person brings into the picture.

Personally, I would be wary of someone who doesn't have a secure income of her own that's comparable to mine, not because I need anything from her, but because if she's secure on her own, then I won't need to question her motives for being with me and because before going into the relationship I'll know she'll be OK if things don't work out.

By the way, what criteria do you use to classify yourself as "middle class"? Your parents' income doesn't really count and you may find that you are in fact in the same income bracket as all those poor people when it comes time to find a job of your own.

Something like 98% or 99% of America is working or "middle" class, so that leaves a lot of options for dating if you want to date middle class people, and less options if you want to date an upper class person.

It is completely understandable for people to date within their own economic bracket, in any case. I've had guys date me and admit they can't be with me because they can't "provide" for me like they assume they would have to, and my current boyfriend has dated women who valued his wealth because they thought it meant they had a financially stable future... both equally shallow pursuits.

My grandmother left me enough money to live on for the next thirty years if I wanted and he's never, ever asked why I haven't spent any of it. The fact that he understands why I leave it alone is the same reason I've never wondered why he doesn't touch his trust fund(which he's had access to for over a decade.) and the fact that we understand that about each other goes a long way in our relationship working so well. We've also known each other for about a decade and definitely didn't choose each other based on finances.

Part of it is a class thing but also when you ask a guy if they want your number and you find out they can't afford a phone I just just think about how that limits the kind of things we can do together if he can't pay his way.

If you want to be materialistic, it's your choice. There are no laws against that. But you should know this: the greatest guy you're ever gonna meet may be a poor guy. And when you reject him, it will be your loss, not his.