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A question for those in relationships.

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astaut
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19 Mar 2011, 11:02 pm

I'm dating someone really upbeat and bubbly, which isn't what I am normally attracted to. Although, I don't really have a "type". I like people a bit different than me (and with different interests) because it is more interesting to me. It just works better.


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Asp-Z
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20 Mar 2011, 2:44 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
ashmeister wrote:
This is a question for those with girlfriends/boyfriends. I'm currently single but I'm just curious here. Do you guys have boyfriends/girlfriends who you love but aren't usually the type of person you would date ever? Like for example, there's a guy who doesn't party at nightclubs, doesn't have tattoos or piercings, doesn't drink or smoke or do drugs. He doesn't do girls who go to nightclubs, has tattoos and/or piercings, drinks, smokes, does drugs. But yet, he falls in love with such a girl and they start dating and are now in love with each other.

Sorry if the question sounds confusing but are you in such a relationship? A relationship with someone who's probably the last person who you'll ever date but, yet, you wind up with such a person.


Those relationships tend to work better than relationships with people who do the same stuff than you. Opposites attract, remember.


What the hell do you talk about then, if you have no commonalities?


You teach each other things about your respective interests. Much more fun.



happymusic
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20 Mar 2011, 9:20 am

Asp-Z wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
ashmeister wrote:
This is a question for those with girlfriends/boyfriends. I'm currently single but I'm just curious here. Do you guys have boyfriends/girlfriends who you love but aren't usually the type of person you would date ever? Like for example, there's a guy who doesn't party at nightclubs, doesn't have tattoos or piercings, doesn't drink or smoke or do drugs. He doesn't do girls who go to nightclubs, has tattoos and/or piercings, drinks, smokes, does drugs. But yet, he falls in love with such a girl and they start dating and are now in love with each other.

Sorry if the question sounds confusing but are you in such a relationship? A relationship with someone who's probably the last person who you'll ever date but, yet, you wind up with such a person.


Those relationships tend to work better than relationships with people who do the same stuff than you. Opposites attract, remember.


What the hell do you talk about then, if you have no commonalities?


You teach each other things about your respective interests. Much more fun.


Yeah - that's how my husband and I are. We have very little in common and don't really want to have anything to do with each other's interests except in support of one another. It's been 17 years and it works really well. There's plenty to talk about and when there isn't the silence can be very comfortable.



Autumnsteps
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20 Mar 2011, 11:00 am

My wife is quite unlike the type of girls I am normally attracted too. we were friends first and then got together. We don't have very much in common but it's works ok. Good way to learn new things too



galvatron
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20 Mar 2011, 3:24 pm

I'd say my "type" is more based on personality than just looks.



ToughDiamond
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21 Mar 2011, 6:01 am

MidlifeAspie wrote:
The "list" of traits that people put together and define as their "type" is just a silly game that takes place while lonely and single. If your goal is a one night stand or a trophy to take to the corporate picnic this is doable, but relationships are based on something entirely different and you can't expect to find the required internal components wrapped in the packaging you decided was ideal. These "lists" are generally amalgamations of celebrities and fictional characters and don't include the most important factors for relationships such as chemistry, shared beliefs and backgrounds, communications styles and life goals.

Strangely enough, my lists are based on little else but my experiences in real relationships. But I worry about what I might be missing by doing that too meticulously. I once knew a lady who was having trouble choosing from a few guys, and another friend advised her who her "best bet" might be - she was horrified, and said that people don't go for the best bet, they go for whoever their gut feelings draw them to. Well, that might work for people with good social intuition, but for people like me I think it's as useful as tossing a coin.