Do looks even matter for Aspies?

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glasses are sexy.

Looks are fine, but they can't be empty.

I just love women id be willing to sleep with any girl but dating is another story

I have facial symmetry, and am height weight proportionate for a rare point in my life...I get told I am pretty by strangers or people who I know from a remote distance since I am a facebook zombie. If looks matter, they only really matter in reverse to me...I sincerely do not like being involved with someone who is not attracted to me. This sucks...cause it keeps happening...other people will think I am attractive, but not the person I care about...I have a hard time with it....especially since I have lost a lot of weight..

I guess I should get over it if these people have dated me even though they had higher standards..they liked me for other reasons and that is good...

yes but to an extent.

There has to be physical attraction, otherwise a romantic relationship wouldn't even register as a possibility for me.

Really? I'd date you if I were gay. You're hot.

I am not aware of any studies on the potential partner preference of aspies, but I have seen a study about shy people. Shy people show a clear preference for beautiful people as their potential partners in comparison with non-shy people.

I'm willing to bet a small sum on aspies reacting in the same way.

Why? Because, infamously, aspies don't have the best social skills (shy people may not lack social skills but the end result is similar). Lets look at the two directions one at a time:

1. An aspie looking for a date: he is probably less aware of the social status, thoughts, character, mind of his various potential dates than the average NT. But he still has to choose (consciously or unconsciously) who to approach. Since the 'internal' data is not easily accessible, it seems likely that external features (ie. looks) will get a relatively higher weight.

2. The aspie as a potential date for someone else. A fair number of aspies have serious trouble approaching potential dates for various reasons (high anxiety, low self esteem, low social skills are common ones). Thus many relationships are initiated by the other person. Good looks come to play again because the usual highly valued date characters (confidence, sense of humour etc.) may not be easily observable even if the aspie has them.

This is, of course, just a wild hypothesis, and equally obviously not going to be valid for everyone even if it were statistically significant. Any particular person can have all sorts of preferences ranging from a demand for classical beauty, to being totally disinterested in the looks of a partnes, to an actual fetish for ugliness. You get all sorts

OP, I can definitely empathize. Looks mean nothing to me.

I'd gladly date and marry an ogre if he loved me. I don't "get" physical/sexual attraction at all, though.

If it was correlated with Autism, I'd imagine it'd be related to:
1. Autistic difficulties with absorbing social norms, aesthetic preferences being one of them
2. Having great difficulty conforming to those social norms when they don't see the rationale behind them

i see far too many odd couples for me to believe that women care what guys look like, seriously i see fat guys with model like women all the time, anybody that has been paying attention should know that appearance is the last thing women care about

if a guy looks good, she will notice you and that is all

if you can't talk to her or convince her that you are a cool guy, she will want nothing to do with you, which is why some of us "hunky" aspie guys have no luck with women

i remember when i went to vote last year, this middle aged lady was staring at me the whole time, finally she said to me that i look like a model and am one of the best looking guys she ever saw in her life, older women have always complimented me and told me "the girls must love you"

very flattering, but it's proof of how women don't care about looks for long and it's also proof of what a mental f**k up i am for never experiencing a woman, women in their 20's hardly look at me and make me feel invisible

Girls always seemed to like me, but I'd always slip quickly into the friend zone. Good looks are pretty important if you don't have an outgoing personality and want to get noticed by women.

Looks are important to men. I am a man.

She needs to be 7.8 + in looks for me.

Far as personality traits go, she needs to be assertive, compassionate, and intelligent. And devious.