Advice on My Wife

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First off, let me say that my wife is amazing. She's kind, empathetic, nonjudgmental, etc. Unfortunately, one of her few flaws is that she doesn't seem to understand the severity of the anxiety/anger I feel when she does things that tip off one of my sensory problems. For example, I hate eggs. I always have. I hate the taste, texture and smell of eggs. In recent years, I've taught myself to tolerate scrambled eggs so long as they're mixed with an ample amount of other things (e.g. cheese, meat, seasoning, etc.).

Anyway, she and I recently started a diet wherein it's really important to eat a lot of protein for breakfast. While I tend to lean toward egg whites (they're not as bad as whole eggs and come in a nice, neat carton) with beans and quinoa and some other things; however, she has been eating hard-boiled eggs. She wakes up later than me because she doesn't have to be at work first thing in the morning so, luckily, I don't have to deal with the smell of them, but she keeps leaving the shells on a plate on the kitchen counter two-to-five feet away from the trash can. Not only does the sight and thought of the texture and reminder of the smell and taste, etc. push me over the edge, but it's exacerbated by the fact that the trash can isn't far away and it shouldn't be hard for her to just dump the shells in.

I know it's really picky of me, but it's really, really driving me crazy and is a big source of anxiety for me. I've told her about it on a number of occasions, but she just won't seem to do it. I don't know how I can more explicitly describe to her how frustrated and anxious it makes me. To her, it seems like something small and silly, but to me, it's a big thing. Any ideas on how I can stress to her how it makes me feel?

It seems kind of silly that I feel this way, but I do feel this way and I can't stop it. Thanks in advance for any advice.

It's not about the eggs, it's about her lack of concern (real or perceived) for your feelings. That's not a silly issue at all.
Wish I had some advice for you, but if she's really a great person then I can't imagine why she's not throwing the shells away. Some kind of repressed hostility or something?

My wife likes to put food in the sink which drives me crazy too.
Since you get up before her put a note where she normally leaves the eggs with a nice request to put the eggs in the trash such as: "Good morning honey - the eggs you often leave here make me feel sick; it would help if you instead put them in the trash. Thank you! I love you!..."

Does she use a glass or paper plate?

Perhaps a change of dishes would make her dump it prior to leaving. I think people tend to throw away trash more when using paper plates, because they don't actually have to wash it. My first reaction would be to stock her eggs in a disposable paper bowl in the fridge. She'd think I was being helpful/cute....

I'm inclined to agree that it's not really about the eggs, or the 2-5 feet, or practical stuff like that....probably more about some unspoken anger, irritation, feeling taken for granted, etc. I'm not saying that dealing with it in this way is the best approach....I just believe there's something under the surface. Talk to her, and instead of taking the "I need you to do this for me," approach, start by asking her if she feels stressed out, or if there's anything she'd like to discuss.

You deserve to be comfortable in your own home. Take all the eggs in the fridge and throw them away before she eats them. Tell her there are no more eggs allowed in the house. She has already demonstrated she does not want to listen to you, she can get her protein elsewhere.

I think it is a matter of communication and respect.

One person will feel deeply about an issue that the other person sees as trivial and not worth bothering about.

I remember some Dr Phil episode where a woman was ready to divorce her husband because he dropped his wet bath towel on the bedroom floor and threw fast food wrappers on the floor of her car.

Trivial? Not to her. She had asked him so many times that she came to the conclusion that he had complete contempt for her feelings and who wants to stay married to someone who doesn't care about your feelings?

I leave trash a few inches from the trash can as well...and stuff in the sink. I'm not sure why...

Where she leaves them, place a sign saying "please throw your egg shells away".

By the way, eggs really don't have to be a part of a high protein diet. The yolks are high in cholesterol and the egg whites themselves contain a protein that is linked to rapid aging.

There are other things high in protein, such as cottage cheese, tuna, turkey, chicken, and some grains as well.

Concerning high protein diets, there is a such thing as too much protein. When I was more athletic, I had to cut down on my protein because it was turning my urine green, which couldn't have been a good thing.

That sounds like my husband. He takes medication during allergy season and the pills come individually wrapped. So every morning there's an empty foil/plastic wrapper on the counter. And if I don't take care of it for him, there'll be a pile of them. I have an aversion to picking up after other people. I'm not sure why but it's always been that way. I can pick up after my kids for the most part... except now that the kids are getting older, I'm starting to feel the same aversion as I do with other adults. So it's a thing. Anyway, I finally asked my husband, "Are you saving these for anything?" He looked embarrassed and replied, "No." and, thankfully, that was all I had to say to get him to start throwing them away. He'll still leave one here or there but he knows I won't throw it away so he does.

I seriously don't understand why anyone cannot throw trash away.

Oh, and just to really creep you out, my husband keeps putting egg shells in the kitchen sink. It's supposedly for the garbage disposal but he won't grind them. He'll just leave them in the sink! It drives me crazy.

Why are people like this???

I have that aversion to picking up after others too. Unfortunately I still have to do it for everyone in my house. The problem is that if I don't it stays where dropped forever. At no point will it occur to the dropper to do something about it. I can tell them till I'm blue in the face, it makes no difference because it's so trivial to them that they just don't see it.

It seems harsh but the only solution I can see is to stop nagging, grit your teeth and throw them away yourself. Afterall, it's you that is bothered by them being there, not her. A wise person once said, you cannot control someone else's behaviour, you can only control your own. Worth bearing in mind.

If there's advice on your wife, I would read it. It might be operating instructions.

As a side-note, might I suggest if you can increase your intake of protein calories in the form of whey? (proteins extracted from milk). It would be a lot easier on your hearts (physically) in the long-run. That is, if you don't mind the taste.

Also it is unlikely you can have too much protein. Your body is good at getting rid of the excess if did. Excess protein should just give you really yellow urine. Though do make sure to have some milk for calcium. Protein digestion has a way to change the salt levels in your body; and a little calcium and a lot of water is lost to regain stability.

As for your urine turning green, it is hard to take seriously. You sure you didn't just eat asparagus or something? That way you had yellow urine and it was really really smelly? xD