Never dated, never had a boyfriend and never been kissed.

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Join the club

to the OP...

I know this might sound a bit harsh of me but can you outline the main reasons why you think you might not have been so lucky with dating?
talking it through might shed soe light on why things haven't been working.

I'm definitely not having much luck in this department although trying to keep looking forward. yes its hard and aspies will have to try a lot harder than usual

which country do you live in by the way?

Here is my theory:

I have learned all my social interactions through mostly observation and a little trial and error. Typical in a group or new situation I will observe before interacting. This has developed a list of filters/rules for me to govern my interactions by. Also I find that I do a lot of mirroring. However, due to relationship being an intimate thing between two people, I was unable to observe and create my filters/rules. So all my learning must be done through trial and error, which is a much longer process. There is also not a good feedback loop. Instead of good feedback you just always get rejection. Usually after acting like the date was going well in the moment. People just want to be nice, but it just adds to the confusion. Also relationship are a lot more complicated than normal social interactions with many interactions based on fuzzy logic and reactions to non-verbal cues.

All of this is a lot of effort for something that I am not sure I actually want anyway. Don't get me wrong, I always wanted to find a wife and to have a family, but once I though about the practical day-to-day part of this, I'm not sure that it is something that will work.

Any feedback would be helpful.

well its not just about social interaction: even if the interaction is done properly per se, that won't guarantee that the othe person has mutual feelings
to be honest, i can't really offer any advice until their is a consice description of what went on...

would anyone describe themselves as 'shy' as well as confused by facial expression?: I'm syaing this as I joined loads of groups on meetup.com under the category of "social anxiety" and found some really friendly people who shared the same frustrations of being socialy anxious like myself.

I'm thinking of creating a meetupgroup for aspies although there are some obvious pitfalls for creating a group for the entire spectrum

Same here, but male and 25. Won't be much help to you, but I just got tired of letting the urge to find love get to my head and interfer with stuff that is important to me and that I actually have control of. Took a while, but it works for me, and it does show. Some of my friends who are in relationships or married sometimes ask me if my day has more than 24 hours because of what I am able to squeeze into one day. It is now that I realize that I am just much more efficient in what I am doing if I can go at it alone, so while you still are, make the best of it while you are still young. Chances are that if you pick up other interests, you might meet someone along the way.

I think it's unnecessary, if not detrimental, to focus on the fact that you cannot get a BF. Don't get into a relationship just because of a societal pressure to do so. Other more important things, particularly schooling and a job, should be given more priority, in my opinion. However, if you do fall in love with a person, then try to pursue them and get into a relationship that way. I don't think any good will come out of trying to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. And these people are right.... 23 is still a very young age.

Your whole first sentence makes me think we're the same person.

I'm 23, female, and in the exact same boat. It's depressing too, especially when people say that stuff and nothing ever changes. Sad fact, but I even went away to college primarily to find a bf, not learn. Even sadder, all I did was learn:(

Have you ever tried online dating?

If anyone's in AZ. But it wasnt until my 20's I experienced life.

I know a relative on mine who is 24 and has never kissed a girl before, and he's NT.

I've kissed a few men before....but they're not the ones I'd choose to kiss again because I didn't fancy them. The ones I do fancy are either married, too old for me, or out of reach. Not fair!

I feel sorry for you...but then again you wouldn't want bad dating experiences like some of us have had.

I honestly don't care anymore...and when you don't think about it...all is well.

i got this covered guys. all you have to do is ditch your glasses, put on some slap and get Freddie Prince Jr to fall in love with you via heart-touching stories about your dead mum. dunno why you didn't think of it sooner.