good grief

Post Reply New Topic

*asasa

Last edited by Whitaker on 23 Jun 2011, 12:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

Welcome to my world. I'm also frustrated with relationships. I want to be in a relationship but I feel that I'll never find a good guy who will want me. I wish I could just not care anymore. :/ Finally lost my virginity last November and was highly disappointed. I don't even get pleasure when I try to do it myself. I don't see why people put such a high value on sex. Who could enjoy being used as a breathing sex doll? Trust me, you're not a whore. You were just manipulated by a sex-crazed society into doing something that you weren't comfortable with. It's best for you to focus on other things.

to make it worse the support group I mentioned was an ASPIE support group, and I hated the guys there.

Just because you are an aspie doesn't mean you are required to be best friends with everyone else who is. There are people with AS who I can't stand and they don't like me. It happens. People are different. I hope you can find refuge here though.

Almost all bad consensual sexual encounters have one thing in common; they were initiated when the 2 parties have not known each other for very long.

Waiting to have sex until you've dated someone for quite a while will prevent you from being creeped out about who you've had sex with. That way, if dating the guy is not enjoyable, you can move on without having gross sex memories.

The light at the end of the tunnel is; that you've provided yourself with a palpable memory of why it's important to get to really know a man before you mate with him.

Allow yourself the luxury of taking all the time you need. That's self respecting and it feels good.

I would suggest telling guys that your not interested in sex. Aspie guys tend to be at the extreme ends of sexuality; some are obsessed & others are kind of asexual. Saying you don't like sex would probably turn the really sexual Aspies away from you

It's very common for most girls or women to regret their first sexual encounter. Most of the time, something goes wrong with it. It's rarely pleasurable.

Like most girls, I was pressured into losing my virginity by my first boyfriend and afterwards I felt scared and gross. I agree with the above advice that waiting to have sex until you're emotionally close to and love each other will have a much better outcome. It's being lusted on without an emotional connection that makes one feel like a blow-up sex doll, or, as my girlfriend puts it, "I felt like a wet, squishy hole."

Thanks all,

Sorry I have been remiss. Here is the thing - the guy obsessed with sex who I had the encounter with thought it was really weird I did not seem into sex. He did not understand why I did not check out men on the street - quite frankly, I hate getting odd glances on the train, so would hate to be a perpetrator. Then I thought he was psycho for being obsessed. Like one of my favorite rockstars said once, "sex is a part of life, and those who think sex is terrible are freaks ... instead if the people who understand it is an everyday part of life"/

I feel like if I ever met a guy I actually truly liked, that based on all the advice here, I would have to let him know immediately I am not into casual sex. But then he will wonder when the time is right, and I will too. Then I worry about how awkward it will feel for me.

Its like if you have too much sex, you are condemned by society, and if you do not, you are also condemned. Still feel sh***y about the whole experience.