A girl I met online in person and the aftermath

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I recentely was getting to know a girl online and we become very close, at first we were very close and she was very interested, we would go on cam,we would chat about many many topics and never get bored of eachother, she would laugh at my bad jokes even when I recorded voice clips and she heard my voice, we became very close and she told me a lot of personal information about her past relationships and also about her recent ex who she was with for about a year, she told me over and over again she didn't have any feelings for him no more. I also have trust issues too because of my past and I explained to her about them. anyway for a few weeks everything was fine but then we had a long hard week of arguments she was getting jealous over a girl on my profile but I wasn't hitting on the girl just chatting to her because I'm a musician and she was too.

I got paranoid of some guys she was in a picture with sitting on a park with her best friend, even though when I look back the picture seems legit now. Anyway we decided to meet and eventually we did, My friend was also getting to know her best friend but on the day he did not turn up at the bus station so I rang them and they said we will meet in a public place, I took the bus and it took me roughly 40 minuites to get to her. I came off the bus and we met up we walked around all day, had a laugh, held hands,kissed a couple of times and she even got in my arms and she told me she liked me but would like to take things slow. anyway I got back home went on facebook and waited for her to message me, she did but just said heya you and then are you oreet I told her her I enjoyed the day very much and I really liked her, then she went silent. After a few minuites her best friend told me she really likes me but she wants to take things very slow because she hasn't long come out of a relationship. I was cool with that and told her that but then I began getting horrible messages off her ex telling me she still has feelings for him and he was making fun of me saying you lost out haha and all that jazz. I pasted the messages to her but she wasn't replying then her best friend told me she still has feelings for her ex and would like to be friends. because I had become so close to her online, I felt really upset because I began to gain feelings for her myself, and he was constantly messaging me and making fun of me and because I have autism I couldn't take it. anyway the days went on and I eventually messaged her and then she replied I just need time and I agreed with it. but later on in the night my friend had a giant arguement with her calling her all sorts of names under the sun, mostly the word slag and he also told her I thought of her as one, but I never said that I just thought she may need space.

It took me 3 hours to convince her I did not say such a thing but eventually she believed me and we sorted it out The next day I went on msn and she came online and messaged me without me messaging her and I said to her I understand you need time and space but would you like to meet up again soon as friends? she said that would be fine; then that same night I was recieving messages off her ex again but this time telling me he is going to hurt me because he still loves her and was saying I still lost out. I showed her what he was saying and she began to not reply, so I said "I want you to be honest with me, do you like me or not? if not tell me, because I can't wait forever if you really do want to get to know me tell me" she then replied with "You're just too clingy" and ever since that we haven't really talked much ecept for me saying to her "If you cannot accept me for who I am then I will find somebody else" she said she wasn't bothered then later she sent me a message saying "My head is messed up, I don't know what I want at the moment" I just left her one last message saying it's in her hands I am not going to chase anymore.

I would like to clarify a few things, she told me she was beaten up,cheated on,not showed much love before and doesn't really know how to run a relationship because she feels she's never had a propper one, I have autism (Aspergers Syndrome) yes I can get jealous,paranoid and a bit obsessive but I do try not to.

a few things to know:
Also she did seem shy and a bit hesitant on the day for example when I asked to kiss her she would kiss me but at first would say her make up would rub off or something, eventually she did let me kiss her although I think now she may been avoiding the kisses not to lead me on, howether she did allow me to put my hood on her when she was cold and also she did get in my arms when we layed on the grass, nothing sexual happened I'm not that sort of person. I just need advice on what I should do? I really do like her but I hope I haven't blown it through being too jealous of this guy and a bit overally obsessive of her. I also kissed her because before we met we were very very close and we decided to half go out with eachother, plus she was always saying she didn't have feelings for him no more, so in my mind I believed we were going out although when on the park she told me she would like to see me more before anything serious. oh and she's also told me recentely I made her feel uncomfortable when I kissed her.

Paragraphs for the win!

I'd say give her some time. Send friendly messages but nothing too relationshipy. If she doesn't reply try to limit it to one a day and if she does, one response for each time you get a response from her.

It sounds to me like she realizes she's stuck in a cycle of dating the wrong kind of guy and wants to break that with you. At the same time, for whatever reason, you are lacking certain qualities that will break through to her. Likewise, those are likely qualities that would be possessed by the wrong type of guy that she would tend to date.

I never managed to get anywhere in that type of situation myself, but I can tell you that limiting how strong you're coming on to her can extend how long you are together.

I'm going to have to go with "it's over" on this one.

If I have this girl pegged right, nothing will make her more attracted to you than if you ignore her and move on.

I personally don't think you should even bother. She seems really immature and dishonest and gets involved with weird guys.

And for future reference, when a girl tells you she wants to take things slowly on the day that she meets you, in most cases, it's a nice way of saying she's not interested in dating you. The same goes for the makeup smearing. I can't believe she even said that.

Sorry it didn't work out, but really, there are much better women out there for you.

Hi! I'm not sure if you just wanted to share your story or was looking for some sort of feedback.

I'm just guessing by the behavior of the people involved that all of you on the young side.

So whether AS or NT, this is how things can be when you are young. There is a lot flip flop, poor decisions, and flat out bad judgement.

Her signals may be on and off because she herself may not even know what she wants. I think your decision to give her some space yet maintain friendly contact is a good one.

I think her thoughts will come clear soon enough though it may not be what you expect or hope for.

On the day we met I asked her if she wanted to date me and she replied "I would like to meet you a few times, if that's okay with you" I agreed but since then all that stuff has happened and it also seems one day she is interested and then another she isn't, plus after we met when I said to her I should move on she was getting upset and hated the fact I would talk to other girls but when I tried to show interest it seems I'm not getting anywhere either. and she has told me that she doesn't know what she wants and when I try and explain why I am the way I am because of my aspergers she says "You're not the only one with problems you can't use you're aspergers as an excuse" how do I get through to her without arguing?

she is also an nt, and I'm an AS.

[quote=]From this, she sounds like the type who likes being the most disfunctional person in the room. Like it's some kind of contest.

Take anything she says with a grain of salt. Or five.[/quote]

I'm beggining to realize that myself, the only problem I have is I have developed feelings for her which makes it harder to move on. Although I will take you're advice in mind and just talk as friends, maybe she isn't worth my time and is perhaps playing games but what made me think she maybe genuine is because before I met her, I noticed on her facebook wall she had messages from her friend saying "he seems a great guy, you usually go for the tw*ts but this time you haven't" I was curious to see what it was about so I added her friend and saw that it was about me on the wall.

Re-read "quietbird's" 4th paragragh and take it to heart. Memorize it. It's true! Ever heard the line, "He's just not that into you." Works with both genders. If she really wanted you, you'd know it. Move on and find someone worthy of your devotion.