Where do i find female aspies online who want a relationship

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I think purposely ignoring initial messages is a lack of respect unless if the initial message was naughty/creepy/disrespectful or was a series of several insisting messages, it's like replying "you're a trash and not even worth for a reply", just because he's a stranger doesn't mean it's ok to ignore him. Too bad, girls are too used to this approach on dating sites.

A small reply like "not interested" is more than enough to persevere that respect.


But you do sound a bit creepy yourself though, TurreticStorm.

All i am looking for in a woman is honesty, trust, and understanding of my syndrome. i had a lot of my high school girls as friends told me i was sweet and kind and happy. but none wanted to hangout with me. so if i get good complements from women, then there is no reason that women shouldn't like me for who i am. i just don't like feeling that women just want to say that to make me feel better. i just wished i knew what they were really saying to me.

i refer to normal humans as humans in a joking way this sight is called wrong planet after all we are wired diferent and think diferantly and i like to joke about aspies being aliens and as for not geting replys back i too beleive it is common courtasy to atleast reply once even to a stranger it isnt my intention to harm anyone in any way and if they are not interested a simple "go away" anser is good enough for me. its when i dont get a reply that things become uncertan i dont know if they are long gone uninterested already taken or anything and it drives me nuts i personaly will always reply to somone atleast once aslong as i actualy get the message

i sound creepy? how do i sound creepy? im the most moral and honest guy around!! !! and i get lonely just like any other single aspie out there whats creepy about that? i guess ill stop posting here then seeing as it hasnt helped me any anyway im not a creepy guy im just socialy akwerd.....

i send PMs (private messages) on here that don't get responded to also. there are a few basic reasons why it might be happening (this is not a complete list - just a couple of things off the top of my head):

-people might get tons of PMs if they post in the singles threads. it may be so overwhelming that they start to feel kind of hounded

-people can see from your threads on here that you are keenly interested in finding a girlfriend, so even if you send a message saying you want to be friends, your motives will seem to be otherwise

-you are a new user and people don't know you that well yet. pretty much all of your posts have been in dating-related threads. you might want to check out the rest of the site and get noticed in other places. people will be more likely to trust you and send PMs back if you have a solid presence.

Also bear in mind a lot of people probably don't like private messages. I personally can't stand them unless they are discussing something which happened on the forum.

Each to their own. Try just getting to know people on the forum first.

How come you don't like private messages?

yea im mainly interested in finding a girlfriend but i have said that i beleive friendship comes first in a relationship im not just gonna jump into a relationship without being friends first and geting to know sombody so i want a friendship that has the potential of becoming a relationship because that is the ultimate goal and they dont have to see that from my posts because i strate up tell them im trying to find a long term relationship but i wanna get to know them and be friends first i keep saying that im verry honest and up front about everything and theres your proof the name of this section is called love and dating so logicaly speaking sending somone a message because i read there post on a singles list in the love and dating section and saying im looking for a friendship with the potential to become a relationship should be considered normal

I don't think that's abnormal but perhaps posting would work better than messaging. I've messaged lots of women on different forums & dating sites & I had no luck but I got my ex 8 years ago by posting on a forum when I wasn't even looking for a relationship & I found my 2nd & current girl recently by making a post here in this section asking about how I could find someone & I was not trying & certainly not expecting to find anyone here. I bet she would not of been interested in me if I had randomly sent her a PM instead of posting

Because I don't like forced conversation between 2 people, in real life or online. Never have. For people I am not really friends with or don't know, I will always prefer forum chatting.

Sounds reasonable.

hmm so in other words i need just talk alot and let an aspie woman come to me? normaly females dont approach men it has to be the other way around but i guess i will continue posting and not bother sending messages

Aspies tend to be more direct & upfront than NTs so I wouldn't rule it out. In my experience with my ex; she replied to a thread I made & seemed concerned for some things I was dealing with & posted about because she related. Our paths had crossed a lot before on different post & we took it to Yahoo messenger after a few replies but were just friends for a while & then she told me she liked me. & on WP Megz replied to my post & said how she related & wanted the same things & didn't think she would find anyone either. I replied with something like I would be interested & she was happy I was & we took it to PMs. I guess my point is that you should try & post about things & maybe you will make women friends in the process who would be interested in you after a while or maybe someone would talk about how she's looking for the same things you are & perhaps she would be interested if you ask her. I wish I had more helpful straightforward advice that was more guaranteed but I sort of stumbled into it & maybe you will get lucky like that as well. & even if your not; it may help you feel better to post about things abit

i have a hard time finding the right words to say but ill try just talking to people and see what hapens

Last edited by TurreticStorm on 03 Aug 2011, 12:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

i was told by a friend to erace my original post so if anyone read it thats why

No aspie women on the internet??

Hmm... I see plenty here... I'm one and I've seen MANY others.

Like you (heck -- like most all of us) I'm really shy...ESPECIALLY around someone I'm attracted to.. fear of rejection?? Probably because in the past, relationships were with NT's that ran for the hills for one reason or another. One was kind enough to tell me he found me really intimidating b/c i had such a high moral code, liked to talk about deep things all the time, and was much smarter than he was. He didn't feel like he brought anything to the table, despite the qualities I pointed out to him that he had.

I hope to meet a compatible aspie male one day that I click with. I want someone that isn't intimidated because I want to learn about quantum physics, dark matter, or endocrinology. I don't want him to feel like less of a man because I know more about his car than he does. I don't want to be judged because (despite being well-groomed, well-dressed and practicing good hygiene) I don't spend hundreds of dollars a month on fake nails, hair extensions or tanning. Those things creep me out. I'm also not into self-worship that involves daily workouts and incessant conversations about them.

I've been on Aspie Affection and met ONE guy even in my state... and I had to carry ALL the conversation online... if you could CALL it a conversation... It's just as hard for THIS female, as most diagnosed Aspies are younger than me.

Sorry... but even aspie females (who tend to be more outspoken than the males) need to be pursued... to feel like you think we're worth pursuing. If we do the pursuing, it feels too much like being desperate or aggressive.. and we can wonder whether YOU'RE truly attracted or just settling for the low-hanging fruit until something better comes along.. We've been rejected, teased, etc.. just as much as you. I was raised by the "man pursues" rules, and try as I might, they're ingrained. If that means I'm going to be single for a lot longer, so be it. I'm strong enough to wait for what I deserve-- someone who truly appreciates what I have to offer and is willing to stick his neck out to win my affection.

Best of luck to you... but at least from this aspie's perspective, you're going to have to fish if you're going to GET a fish.

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