No prospect of future GF = Get a prostitute instead?

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blunnet
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27 Jul 2011, 9:02 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

What about men like me that don't use women? I still end up being used... is that fair? What did I do to deserve that?

You have a natural penis.

hans66
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06 Aug 2011, 12:36 pm

Erisad wrote:

Then how can you possibly pay a hooker and still respect women? You can't. You're saying, "hey, I only want you for sex because I don't value you as a human being based on your profession and genetalia. Here's the money to make sure that you leave after we're done."

I pay a hooker (or an escort for the sake of the word) and still respect and like women. It is not about men liking women; I don't think that is the issue here, but about women liking men, with or without their shortcomings. I can still respect women, although they find me sexually unattractive.

Artros
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06 Aug 2011, 1:40 pm

I do not intend to ever go to a prostitute. I don't really see the point in it.

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hans66
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06 Aug 2011, 2:58 pm

mv wrote:

I've seen people permanently damaged by childhood neglect and abuse. Yes, they can sort of "treat" it, but personality disorders (for example) are rather permanent. Even with "treatment" (DBT, CBT, etc.) it's a constant monitoring process so you're not really living as "you". I know, Moog, that you are optimistic about repair, and I know hyperlexian (whose opinion I respect from all I've read here, she's very generous with her advice) thinks that the human brain is plastic throughout life, but that has not been my (anecdotal) experience. Even when people want to learn and grow and change, it's not always possible.

There are forms of depression that also do not respond to any known treatment. Anxiety, too.

I'm not sure we've yet discovered the right treatment for the more complex issues. So maybe you're right, Moog, things are "fixable", we just don't have the path yet.

I agree for the most part. It is a bit naive to think that autism (with its comorbide traits) can be healed and improve the chances of the very person on the relation market. At least I do not believe in this. The point is also, that I do not consider myself as damaged, but others (i.e. women) do. And whether a relation will start to exist depends on those others with their opinions.

nichiren
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06 Aug 2011, 6:45 pm

swbluto wrote:

Pretend that your life experiences have shown you that absolutely no girl is interested in you because of your aspergian characteristics. Well, that's not strictly true BUT rather, it's that SO FEW girls in real life are interested in you that doing the "searching process" is not sufficiently efficient like it is for your everyday NT such that it's kind of impractical. So, what do you do when you have a sex drive? Get a prostitute! Simple, quick and far less costly.

This seems totally rational to me. What's your take?

My life experiences actually seem to be close to that....
Wait unless the girl is needy, desperate, codependent, overly clingy and jealous I am not wanted.
And at the start of my journey of self gratification I thought that one day I may buy a prostitute to at least help with that desire because women not wanting me kinda fell into the me being more comfortable alone 95% of the time anyway.
But with time that desire faded as well and it is no big deal.

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hans66
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06 Aug 2011, 9:46 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

here is an article about the most comprehensive study completed to date:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/ ... rostitutes

and the fulltext here:

http://www.eaves4women.co.uk/Documents/ ... %20Sex.pdf

Interesting stuff. Therefore, I printed the PDF document.

About partner finding: I think, if a non-shy NT man is looking for a woman and interacts with 250 women, there could be 4 or 5 interested in him. If a shy NT man or an autistic man is looking for a woman, and interact with 1000 women, there could be just one interested in him. Percentual that could be 2 % for a non-shy NT man, and 0.1 % for an autistic man. It is obvious who of the two is more successful. No wonder autistics and shy NT men consider paid sex.

Talking about this issue, it is mainly men versus women, rather than autistics versus non-autistics, because autistic women are in a different situation than autistic men. Why so? Because in the process of seducing the roles for men are different from those for women. Autistic and shy women are less in a disadvantage than men are. It is actually as simple as that.

swbluto
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06 Aug 2011, 9:59 pm

hans66 wrote:

Autistic and shy women are less in a disadvantage than men are. It is actually as simple as that.

Indeed. Women just need to exist. Men need to act.

hans66
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06 Aug 2011, 11:05 pm

swbluto wrote:

hans66 wrote:

Autistic and shy women are less in a disadvantage than men are. It is actually as simple as that.

Indeed. Women just need to exist. Men need to act.

That means, men must do more. You are out of luck if you are clumsy with women. And shy NTs and autistics are.

Deuterium
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06 Aug 2011, 11:33 pm

And when we reach obstacles in life we buy our way around them. Buy those pills, get that quick fix, live a life of instant-gratification at the risk of our own health and throw self-responsibility out of the window. Perhaps your shortcomings prevent you from climbing the ladder of competition because you are so complacent with having them, moreso than any causes beyond your control.

hans66
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06 Aug 2011, 11:46 pm

No, I am not complacent. I even prefer to get rid of the situation today than tomorrow.

swbluto
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07 Aug 2011, 12:14 am

Deuterium wrote:

And when we reach obstacles in life we buy our way around them.

Technically, if you're working to earn the money necessary to buy the solution, you're working your way around them.

Quote:

Buy those pills, get that quick fix, live a life of instant-gratification at the risk of our own health and throw self-responsibility out of the window.

Lol, that's so narrow-minded of a view of those who choose to not bend to the whip wielded by the standard regime. Are you sure you're not NT?

Quote:

Perhaps your shortcomings prevent you from climbing the ladder of competition because you are so complacent with having them, moreso than any causes beyond your control.

LOL, my shortcomings are not preventing me from anything. I just choose to climb better ladders.

[Note: I'm not really going to see a prostitute and never have and I have more than enough means to see one if I wanted to. So, yes, joke's over folks! I'm just arguing because it's fun.]

Aspie_Chav
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07 Aug 2011, 7:41 am

swbluto wrote:

Deuterium wrote:

And when we reach obstacles in life we buy our way around them.

Technically, if you're working to earn the money necessary to buy the solution, you're working your way around them.

Quote:

Buy those pills, get that quick fix, live a life of instant-gratification at the risk of our own health and throw self-responsibility out of the window.

Lol, that's so narrow-minded of a view of those who choose to not bend to the whip wielded by the standard regime. Are you sure you're not NT?

]

I am almost certain that NTs think that an average man's level of wisdom and hard work is enough for anyone to find love.

886
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07 Aug 2011, 8:04 am

JohnOldman wrote:

There is more to be desired from a woman than that she will submit to you sexually.

Figured in 363 replies someone would have already said this, and it's probably safe to assume there's plenty more.

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MXH
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07 Aug 2011, 8:18 am

JohnOldman wrote:

There is more to be desired from a woman than that she will submit to you sexually.

Deffinetly. But sexuality is an important part of basic human needs and a relationship. It shouldnt be the foundation but it is important.

InsomniacDreams
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07 Aug 2011, 9:36 am

*sigh* .. sad to see some things just never change... I wonder how many thread results would show if people used search on this topic?

Erisad wrote:

swbluto wrote:

Who_Am_I wrote:

swbluto wrote:

Most anti-prostitute females seem to come from the girlfriend alliance... I WONDER why this is... competition, maybe?

Yep. They're afraid they won't get to sleep with you. Just keep telling yourself that....

Bahahaha, I don't care if a girl does or doesn't want to sleep with me. The statement applies to pro-prostitution men in general, which a sizable amount are generally desirable by a significant number of women (Particularly many of those who can afford regular access to prostitutes since we know many women are attracted to a really big bag of gold). And that, my dear, is called undesired competition.

If a man is seeing a hooker, that's the kind of man I want to avoid so it's not a competition issue. It's just that I don't like how many women are forced into sex trafficking and are continually abused just to make ends meet. :/

** Threadjack Erisad :twisted:

...another name I remember... and I am so not surprised to see you in this thread, actually it was you being in this thread that triggered my memory of you.
BTW it is Surya and I am working on getting my old account active (now that I remember my old user name, just not recalling login info) **

Returning to the topic at hand.

Men
Please stop using the term prostitute
If your going to do it, do it safe and ffs keep it to your self. Nobody needs to know the details of how you lost your virginity or if you even have for that matter
Unless you all really like being nagged at and called all sorts of things please stop posting these kinds of threads and use search to see how many there are on the topic here
and how they all ended up

Women
Stop calling them derogatory terms, such as dirty hookers, etc because I know for a fact many here do not like being called other derogatory names

But most of all, stop getting on a guys case about escorts. Unless your screwing them or plan on screwing them or in/getting into a relationship with the guy(s) in question,
it is non of your business what they do with or where they place their equipment, or with whom.
So how could there be competition

Surya

cdfox7
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07 Aug 2011, 10:43 am

InsomniacDreams wrote:

Men
Please stop using the term prostitute

Really are you having a giraffe? What term do you which it to know as then if you what to play with semantics?
Sexual service provider, Carnal knowledge consultant, sensual bodywork therapist, or tantric engineer take you pick!

Anyway if you know the etymology of the word prostitute then you know that it had sweet FA to do with the sex trade.

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