Rules for Love/Dating

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The largest number of these rules (for example, don't call for 3 days), are to get you to avoid looking needy or desperate, and to get you to think before you leap to avoid a bad situation. In short, they are just common sense.

Links to references, please?

Yes, Ross, I agree.

When I read The Rules years ago I thought; how contrived, how constricted, What about spontaneity?

But then I tend to go a bit overboard early in relationships and that has never served me or the relationships well.

It turns out that when I take things in relationships slowly, things go much better. I have time to weed out wrong matches before I'm in too deep. And in the case of a good match, slow timing kept me grounded and rather more sane.

Oh, and I should add; in cases wherein I was the one weeded out; because I hadn't gone all in too early; the rejection was not so devastating. I was able to accept it without overblown grief.

I don't even remember what the rules are (I remember learning them in my teens or whatever) but I've found that if I'm comfortable being myself and I think about things from the perspective of the other side, I'll be fine. Of course, I usually equate this to all friendships first; I see dating as an extension of a friendship.

What rules? Where are they? I hear people talk about the rule book but I never see one.
Searching for the rules gives too many results.

Every time I've tried being friends first I got friend zoned.

i dont believe in many of these "Rules".

the wait 3 days rule to prevent from coming across as desperate is artificial. and many people will be able to tell.

If your goal is to be friends, then you will be friend zoned. The goal should be to possibly be more than friends. It's all about the mindset. Instead of "I want this girl as a friend" it should be "I want to spend time with this person and get to know her in the process" because one is a foregone conclusion and the other is not.

I don't know what most of those rules are & I don't care. I'm pretty sure I'm breaking most all of em with my girlfriend & things are going great between us. The rules are only important if you or your partner make them important & I think those rules can overly complicate things & you could both do things that are unnatural to you by fallowing em that could make things more awkward between you sense you may both be less comfortable; for example having sex on the 3rd date; if you & your partner are both shy & take things slow; the pressure to have sex could cause problems between you