Smoking: Dealbreaker or not?

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Personally, I don't smoke. Never formed the habit of it. Never will.

I find it disgusting, and a con, BUT I don't consider it a dealbreaker.

As long as the smoking is conducted respectfully to others and it is limited, I can tolerate it.

If a person connected to me on almost all levels, I would not reject them because of a habit. We all have flaws, and I find smoking to be a smaller flaw compared to many other flaws.

If the person is overall a good match, I wouldn't mind smoking. But if the person already has a lot of what I would consider cons, then smoking could tip the balance out of favor.

My standards for dating are different than for marriage, though. I would want the person to quit smoking before I were to marry them.

Your thoughts?

I broke up with two girls because they smoked.

It is an absolute deal breaker for me. But it never used to be. I mentioned this elsewhere, but I watched my mom smoke herself to death, and it was heartbreaking.

So yeah. When I see somehow smoking constantly, I see someone who doesn't care about their health.

Caveat: I've known a few women who might smoke a cigar a few times a year while having drinks. That's not a deal breaker. It reminds me of Starbuck on the new Battlestar Galactica, haha.

yeah asteroid, the intensity of it matters too.

a couple cigarettes a day is different from 2 packs a day

My parents both smoked several packs a day the entire time I was home and I genuinely believe that the reason I am asthmatic can be traced to the decades of second hand smoke I was forced to endure. Now I will not associate with smokers at all. If a woman I was on a date with lit up, I'd end the date then and there.(not that I am likely to be on a date, but smoking is now and always will be a complete deal breaker.)

I will never, ever date a lady who smokes cigarettes.

YUCK!

Smoking is not only a dealbreaker for dating someone, smoking is a dealbreaker for me spending any time with someone or thinking of them as a friend. Absolute complete dealbreaker.

I have severe olfactory sensitivities. There is no way around it at all.

Oh, it makes all the difference in the world!

I would never date a prissy, judgmental, self-righteous anti-smoker. I can't stand people who think that their personal choices make them superior to others, and that anal-retentive choices like not smoking guarantee them eternal life. I'd rather tongue-kiss a smoker all night long than spend an hour next to a putz who thinks bathing in cologne makes them sexy.

Calling others' choices 'filthy' or 'stupid' or 'a con' just because you buy all the media brainwashing that tells you if you smoke you're doomed to a horrible, grisly death and you're a worthless burden on the Health Care System in spite of the huge taxes you pay for your choice - but being obese is perfectly acceptable and a 500% tax on Twinkies and soda and Big Macs is just crazy talk - is cruel and small minded. Give me a skinny chick with a cigarette over a Pillsbury Dough Girl every time - I'm not judging - that's my d*ck's choice and there's no arguing with him.

As for insisting that someone change their personal choices in order to qualify as marriage material - wow, you really have a high opinion of yourself, don't you? If you can't accept someone as they are, do them a favor and don't ask them out. Because nothing makes a relationship more of a living Hell on Earth than ending up with someone who thinks they can make you over in their own blessed image. Until you pick your panties outcha crack, you're in for a lot of failed relationships.

Third option.

I am a former smoker, so I know it can be hard to quit. I wouldn't mind it as long as some boundaries were respected.

Yes, absolutely.

Ok, so I once had a brief almost-fling with a girl who smoked. I didn't KNOW she smoked, and she didn't want anyone to know she smoked. But I could taste it when I kissed her. So I know she didn't smoke all that much. So...not really a deal breaker for someone just looking for a good time. But I couldn't do anything long-term with a smoker.

never an issue that's cropped up

ummm you're missing the 4th option.... not a problem at all.

don't care, unless it gets so expensive that it cuts into other areas of the budget. i'm not in the habit of getting all up in someone's business about their health. don't mind the taste.

i'm an ex-smoker, quit a big habit cold turkey 17 years ago.

Totally dealbraker. I never dated a smoker. My husband used to smoke, but he quit BEFORE I met him. I think if he hadnt we wont be together. I cannot tolerate cigarettes. I do like tobacco, though. My grandma used to smoke tobacco, so it brings me nice memories.

For me, it's a deal breaker because I used to date a smoker and I discovered that I had a severe allergy to second hand smoke; to the point where I was coughing up blood. I've also had pneumonia and several episodes of bronchial asthma so it would be a health hazard to be with someone who smoked. And, even if it weren't a health hazard to me, I wouldn't want to be with a smoker because I know of one woman who is dying of lung cancer and still smoking. It makes me sad to see someone destroying their health and unable to stop even if it is killing them.