How to tell her you don't like her clothes / makeup?

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I see. Let's just not talk about social class anymore then. Anyway, you don't think it's a good idea to come with her on her shopping trips and suggest clothes and when she tries something on you don't like telling her it's not nice?

i had a long-term relationship with someone who didn't like the way i dressed, the way i wore my makeup, only liked my hair a certain way, etc. he told me that if my hair fell out he would appreciate it if i wore a wig instead of shaving my head or going bald. when my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer and was going through chemotherapy, i was going to shave my head in support, but he was very upset with that idea. sometimes, he seemed outright ashamed of the way i looked, like i wasn't good enough for him.

if you have the urge to tell her to change things like the way she dresses right at the outset, it sounds like a slippery slope to wanting to control her behaviour, her mannerisms, her emotions, everything. it doesn't always end up being that type of situation, but it is on the same decline. when you have urges to mold or shape someone like that, she will just never be good enough. you will always find something else wrong with her.

individuals are not made up of putty to be shaped by other people's hands. is she is not perfect the way she is... leave her alone.


EDIT: if someone only compliments me when i wear certain types of clothes, or compliments the way other women dress, i can see right through it as manipulation. regular compliments or a nice comment when i make an effort to look good in my own way is completely different, and it is a really obvious distinction. i imagine other women can tell, also.

Last edited by hyperlexian on 02 Sep 2011, 9:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

You people are making me feel like I'm a bad person...

If your so worried about status why didn't your parents hook you up with someone from the country club.

not saying you're a bad person. you might want to inspect your motivations here. clothing is just clothing.

if you are really worried about your family's reaction and so on, then don't date people of the "wrong" social status.

if it is a matter of feeling like no girl is ever quite good enough (like each girl you meet and consider dating seems to have something wrong with her that needs "fixing"), then you may want to look inside yourself for some answers.

Now I am a prole, but how is "How do you do" better than 'pleased to meet you' let alone the correct way of doing things? Is that an American deep south thing or something? I'm fairly sure there's more to class than bizarrely obnoxious pedantry.

Because my parents are very old and they don't know anyone with children that are my age and still in the country. And also because we're not rich. At all. And the other 'eligible' people (and I mean eligible in my parent's eyes) are so rich that Champagne is their standard bar drink, and I just can't afford to date a rich ******** girl who is only interested in money. I'm not interested in silver spoons and caviar. What I want is a girl who talks non stop, makes me laugh and that I enjoy being with. Not some spoiled rich kid whose father gave her a Ferrari for her 18th birthday when I don't even own a car.

TV teaches me that the upper class dress in clothes that can cost hundreds of pounds, so if you're not rich, that's not an option...

It is very bad manners to criticize a friend's style of dressing and makeup.

There is no kind way to tell someone, oh by the way, I like you but I hate the way you dress. So give it up Old Fashioned. Either accept her how she is or move on. Unless she specifically ASKS you for some fashion tips, don't go there.

And America is not a class free society, that is the biggest myth going about America. Class is discerned by dress and manners here just as fast as it is in any other country. I would guess England is more honest about their social class structure than Americans.

And I too am wonder if this is just someone trolling on the chat boards for giggles and amusement. The tone of your posts seems very contrived. Just saying....

For what little it's worth I think Amy Winehouse's style was really appealing. Forget social strata, you reinforce them by buying into the idea.

Maybe you should find a girl who has a style you can tolerate, you cannot expect her to up and change just because you think she should.

As soon as I read that it made me think his parents have a severe problem. It's just outright stupid.

Edit: his parents aren't even rich? WTF??? Are they even educated?
Dude, sort out your family issues before you date. Please. An upper class girl will never date you if you're not actually upper class. Wanting to change who you can get isn't the problem here. Your unhealthy family issues are.

Because if you are in a relationship you do not own the female you are in a relationship with, they are an individual person and should not have things forced on them by their boyfriend.

Seems like your family has some major issues, what do they have against middle class or working class people, also why should a middle class or working class girl want to try to impress some guy who only wants high class girls because his family does not like those they see as coming from a lower class? Maybe you should figure out what you are actually intrested in.

Like some random working class girl!! ! god forbid!

You would be ashamed of her going out like that? really? If anybody should be ashamed it's the girl going out with someone like you.

Fashion changes constantly, so why keep up with it?

If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't care how she dressed as long she was comfortable and that she thinks she looks good. A woman who does her own thing and doesn't give a crap what others think is a big plus for me.

And what was wrong with the way Amy Winehouse looked?