I am an NT girl dating a guy with AS. We've been together for more than 10 months now.
Though we have had a lot of fights, they've mostly been over small things. I'm an introvert (but not a loner) and my boyfriend is definitely a loner, and this is where most of our issues have come from (for example, I'll want to talk/hang out more than he will) and compromise is tough on this issue. However, both of us have changed for the better in this relationship.
I've started educating myself as much as possible about AS, especially in the last 3-4 months. Over the course of the whole relationship, however, we've had to compromise quite a lot. I can't hint at things or expect him to know what I want - I must tell him explicitly, which at the beginning was an issue for my (my whole family hints at EVERYTHING and never says anything outright - I feel like I have the most passive-aggressive relatives ever, haha) but now I'm getting better at it. My boyfriend would often feel bad if I was in a bad mood or upset about something, even if he didn't cause it, which only made me feel worse.
So there's been a lot of conflict in our relationship, but overall it's a happy one. I absolutely love our hours-long conversations we have, our debates and discussions about anything and everything. My boyfriend is one of the most openminded people I know and he's helped me become openminded too. Our relationship is strong and I love my boyfriend very much. Though I did not begin dating him because he has AS - I began dating him because we were close friends and both wanted to try something more - his AS is fine with me.
RightGalaxy wrote:
SEXUAL curiosity is what draws an aspie to an NT or vice versa. That's a very superficial way to relate. When it gets into an actual relationship, that's when the problems begin. It just won't last.
I feel generalizations like this are very broad and don't describe everyone. I'm sure some couples are that way, but certainly not all. I believe one of the strongest parts of the bond between my boyfriend and I is an intellectual one and our relationship is not superficial.
One can't generalize about NTs - not all NTs are shallow, petty, and/or obsessed with fashion. I've found a minority to be like that.