At what stage in a relationship....

Post Reply New Topic

Ah, my AS is one of the reasons (among MANY) I ended my marriage, too.

I'd let the person get to know you first. I personally never regarded the word Aspergers as well known versus "autism".

But yeah, I wouldn't let it be the first thing that pops out of your mouth, I don't think its a topic for a first date.. but depending on how well it goes maybe a second or third date thing to bring up.

You should always be real with a person your involved in.. but as long as "deal breakers" (I don't really consider AS a deal breaker) follow shortly after selling points, it sounds as if it'd be ok.

I was already (and still am in) in a relationship when I thought I might have AS for 4 years almost but if I had to divulge it that is how i'd do it, AS in a sense can define aspects of your being, if said person is already comfortable with said being.. I don't see the harm in it having a name .

I don't think it's something that can be quantified. You should discuss as soon as you feel comfortable enough.

i always told people long before i would consider dating them (or hooking up with them in any way, in fact). but i have a tendency to overshare *everything* lol

Yeah, that's pretty much what I decided to do. It's obvious he wanted some kind of relationship from me, but I'm not willing to invest anything into one that could fall apart over something like this.

Honestly, though, he seems kind of AS himself. I just don't think I should tell him that.

I like the fact that the girl I like knows that I do in fact have AS she truly is sugar spice and everything nice I hope I can ask her some time this year or just wait until the time is right my heart doesnt lie its telling me her answer will be yes

Yes, yes and yes! Hyperlexian...I love you (in a platonic, one aspergirl to another, OMG you are just like ME sort of way). Tea--bingo. I'm having the same trouble, both with the "is he not getting this, I mean *really* not getting this" and the "somebody's got some spectrum issues...better not go there". This feeling of not being understood has been yanking me around all summer. Sometimes, he gets me--really really gets me and my struggles--and other times, he gets upset over something I keep trying to get him to understand as a spectrum issue. The frustrating part is, I think he thinks it's something I can change, and when I don't, it's a whole new level of frustration.

I went through that with my ex-husband, who, coincidentally, is most likely AS as well. I feel for you.

Honestly, I'm going back and forth with this. I'm not sure if I've got the energy to do this right now.

I am very open with the fact i am Autistic. So any potential partner would know i was well in advance of me dating them. Also I don't Date.

My old bf told me he has symptoms of AS after we broke up. I didn't know because I was so worried about my own aspie tendencies that I failed to see his. I didn't even know about AS until then either.

I inadvetantly broke up with him during a meltdown. He had never known that that was what was happening. I tried to get him to just let me sleep it off, but he took it all wrong. It was caused by spending two nights over his house and I had been so happy it overloaded my senses.

Now he thinks I am crazy

And I'm in exactly the same place. I was feeling so much better for a while. Now that nasty little head voice started by my relationship with my husband, the one that constantly tells me I'm worthless, is back with a vengeance. Seems like everything I do is wrong and...the only common denominator is me.

I'm wondering if I need to just go it alone no matter what.

Problem is, a good strong hug and someone to text can do a lot to give me the self-assurance I need to stay focused on the day, and hush up that head voice. But...not this way...

thank you!

God yes! I have to remind myself every day that was my exes opinion and not truth. It's still hard, though.

I don't 'date' either.

I know exactly what you mean. But it's a great motivator, for me, to be everything anti-ex (and to do it for me).

*nod* I think I'll cut my hair. This time, I'm not listening to my exes 'advice' on the matter. I'm sure he'll hate it, too.