Misogyny vs. Misandry concerning rejection

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techstepgenr8tion
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26 Sep 2011, 9:27 pm

SadAspy wrote:
Females are rejected by males who are significantly better-looking than them.

Males are rejected by females in the same looks category or lower.

That's the difference.

And given how men are expected to approach, we have been through far more rejections.

I'd beg to differ. If the guy or girl is more into life and getting it right looks really won't matter much in the rejection process, nor will the rejection process really be a 'Hah - I'm better than you' or a display of social leveraging power. When you're at that point of knowing what you want or at least what you clearly don't, its quite a different ballgame. I can't rule out that you wouldn't possibly get stuck up reactions from people who were just as immature before, just that when you're already looking past them it really won't mean anything to you.


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26 Sep 2011, 9:29 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
Females are rejected by males who are significantly better-looking than them.

Males are rejected by females in the same looks category or lower.

That's the difference.

And given how men are expected to approach, we have been through far more rejections.

I'd beg to differ. If the guy or girl is more into life and getting it right looks really won't matter much in the rejection process, nor will the rejection process really be a 'Hah - I'm better than you' or a display of social leveraging power. When you're at that point of knowing what you want or at least what you clearly don't, its quite a different ballgame. I can't rule out that you wouldn't possibly get stuck up reactions from people who were just as immature before, just that when you're already looking past them it really won't mean anything to you.

you posted in this thread before, i think. it's resurrected.


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26 Sep 2011, 9:44 pm

I agree that the greater level of misogyny could be related to the greater proportion of males to females posting on this sub-forum. My person opinion of why all the misogyny occurs is, in agreement with another poster, due to the AS obsessiveness and thought looping tendencies. Misogyny is like a mind trap a male with AS can get stuck in, because of the obsessive thought looping, the misogyny becomes quickly very deeply rooted in all the thought processes of said male, and very difficult to displace.


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techstepgenr8tion
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26 Sep 2011, 10:34 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
you posted in this thread before, i think. it's resurrected.

Yeah, I noticed. I think the only thing I didn't realize is that we had only two posts from 2011 (today essentially). I'll have to watch that closer next time.


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26 Sep 2011, 10:45 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
you posted in this thread before, i think. it's resurrected.

Yeah, I noticed. I think the only thing I didn't realize is that we had only two posts from 2011 (today essentially). I'll have to watch that closer next time.

it was neat. i think you had the same opinion. once when i posted in an old thread i had a new opinion!! !! 8O


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techstepgenr8tion
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26 Sep 2011, 10:51 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
it was neat. i think you had the same opinion. once when i posted in an old thread i had a new opinion!! !! 8O

Lol, occasionally I'm wiping sweat off my brow and thankful that I did myself proud. Hasn't happened yet but I'm sure it could go less flatteringly from somewhere :knock on wood:.


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27 Sep 2011, 11:07 pm

lotusblossom wrote:
perhaps women have lower self esteem so hate themselves for mistakes rather than hating others.

That's true of me. I tend to blame myself and get down on myself if I get rejected, not hate men. In some ways I think it would be healthier for me if I could react the other way.
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28 Sep 2011, 7:48 am

hale_bopp wrote:
There are certain type of males I have zero, and I mean zero time for, bot NT and aspie:

Lapdogs
Sexist pigs who just talk about how they want sex and what they want to do to women, are crude and just completely unattractive, talk about boners all the time
Men with a superiority complex. and/or no respect.
Immature prats

What do you mean by lapdogs in this context?

I think both sexes are equally bad at having a bad run and then making generalisations about the opposite sex. In real life I certainly see as many women complaining about there not being any intelligent/atrractive/whatever men as men doing the inverse. Though this forum is certainly male dominated so I think we see a bit more of that.



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28 Sep 2011, 8:03 am

On the first page "intrinsic male privilege" was mentioned. What is that, and where can I get some?


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28 Sep 2011, 8:50 am

DavidM wrote:
When two women are kissing each other or touching each other it makes me really hard.

But when two men are intent upon one another, it just looks really nasty. :(


Not to this broad, it doesn't! :wink:



techstepgenr8tion
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28 Sep 2011, 9:28 am

mds_02 wrote:
On the first page "intrinsic male privilege" was mentioned. What is that, and where can I get some?

Lol, I think it runs both ways as well. We guys apparently have no idea what its like to make 25% less per paycheck based on gender, and it seems like most women - aside from former women as FTM's (who have done some very revealing inteviews) - actually know what its like to be as socially cramped and restricted as guys are.


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28 Sep 2011, 10:00 am

Sound wrote:
Good topic, well thought out, good postage.

Though, I disagree with one assertion: I don't think women retain a better sense of objectivity, nor that they tend to avoid misandry. Rather, I think that it's simply less visible, more accepted, less destructive.

For example, a man pops in, posts a woe-is-me thread about his rejection, and says "All women are b*****s!" I guarantee you will see a minor uproar.
But now imagine a woman pops in, makes her woe-is-me thread and says "All men are pigs!" In my experience, the resultant reaction is more like "Oh, pshaw, stop being silly."

And I don't mind this very much. The repercussions of that attitude of misandry is quite small compared to that of misogyny. Men don't tend to suffer to such a massive degree at the hands of an abusive spouse as a woman tends to suffer beneath an abusive man. And let us not forget intrinsic male privilege, as I think feminists call it.
Therefore misogyny is worse that misandry, in practice.

On a somewhat different note:
In the L&D context, for a guy who's burdened beneath typical misogyny, such as 'option 2' as you've described, he's going to suffer much more difficult drawbacks when he gets on-the-market and tries to find a woman who'd tolerate him. Compare that to a woman who's mildly pissed at men in a similar 'option 2' context. Men won't discriminate against her nearly so strongly for that attitude, as opposed to the prior example.

So, IMO, this works to further obscure the pervasive realities of common misandry, as well as the point above it.

+1

Hector wrote:
I've seen a few remarks from women about men in general that smack of post-rejection frustration: either of the kind "men are only interested in slu*ty bimbo types/weak women/unquestioning types", or of the kind "all the attractive men are gay or taken". I don't believe it's nearly as frequent, but then I typically post on forums which are male-dominated so maybe I'm too quick to judge here

I've seen quite a lot of those on Plenty Of Fish's forums.

It's been my experience that with rejection that I would blame myself a lot & I would sometimes say something in hurting frustration that would get misinterpreted as being hateful towards women in reality I didn't mean it like it sounded. Also there are some women(not most) who are very quick to accuse men of being hateful when in reality it is those women who are being hateful. It's kind of like a double standard.


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Last edited by nick007 on 28 Sep 2011, 10:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

mds_02
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28 Sep 2011, 10:01 am

Could you point me toward some of those interviews? That sounds interesting.

I think men and women are pretty equal when it comes to gender disadvantages. But I think you hear less about men's issues because men are trained by society to behave in a stoic fashion. And because so many of us are brought up being taught to "let the girl win."


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techstepgenr8tion
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28 Sep 2011, 10:14 am

mds_02 wrote:
Could you point me toward some of those interviews? That sounds interesting.

Wow, I'd have to dig. These were posted on L&D at least a year or two ago. There was a part in the thread where a guy was interviewed who fell to zero-testosterone and essentially became the ultimate buddhist without trying, and then you had the switch who was a very trendy and well-liked lesbian but when she became a man she found out that she couldn't say or do anything without the risk of getting beat up by other men, would be shoulder-checked constantly as whe walked and that the way she explained it was that men live under the straight-jacketed social code where if you fail your gender role you're ruined; and she had to laugh that when she observed all these things - as a former very trendy and well liked lesbian - that she was received as a misogynist by people who didn't know she was a switch.

I'll have to see if I can find it because, I agree, it was a very cool article. It would be interesting as well to see if there've been any MTF's who, lets say, prior to their conversion weren't convincingly different, lived normal male lives, and can comment on what the differences have been to experience the world as how their now treated (so long as people can't tell the difference at least).

mds_02 wrote:
I think men and women are pretty equal when it comes to gender disadvantages. But I think you hear less about men's issues because men are trained by society to behave in a stoic fashion. And because so many of us are brought up being taught to "let the girl win."

The only thing that will really make that go away is by solving it without making it sound plaintiff, whiney, or victim-like. We know men aren't allowed to be victims, and in one hand that's very much in our favor - mainly because we can have a male awareness movement that's centered on something that both men and women agree on - that we can be rational to a fault and we can really say that we don't find this type of gender role uber alis bit practical anymore, that the tides have turned, and that the world's become so competitive that we can't reasonably expect ourselves to - say - forgo working in a field where we have a great degree of talent because its not seen as a masculine pursuit or don't want to force ourselves to grumble as minimally as possible to be seen as 'stoic' because networking means too much these days and you're ability to freely exchange ideas really makes or breaks you regardless of your gender.


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28 Sep 2011, 12:22 pm

i think the word mysogyny is thrown around here too much. Cause if those people complaining about women were trully mysogynistic then they wouldnt be looking for a girlfriend, no?

As for me I havent had much experience with women to dislike them. As it seems that both men and women dont want to be associated with me.



techstepgenr8tion
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28 Sep 2011, 12:28 pm

MXH wrote:
i think the word mysogyny is thrown around here too much. Cause if those people complaining about women were trully mysogynistic then they wouldnt be looking for a girlfriend, no?

They'd likely have the attitude of "If a tree falls on a woman in the forest, what's a forest doing in the kitchen?" and unlike most guys who'd say that kind of thing it wouldn't be for laughs or to instigate with female friends, they'd actually mean it.


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