I have never met an Aspie girlie

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Well I believe we live in a sh***y world and I'm not going to bother making it any nicer , having said that I don't go out of my way making it shittier.

so what if it's a sh***y world already? you are responsible for your own actions and you can choose to make things better or not. if everyone felt like you, the world would likely be even worse because nobody would be arsed to give a crap about anyone else unless they could benefit.

it doesn't even matter if we don't succeed at making the world better - when we try, we make ourselves better. i have to live in my own head 24/7 so i want it to be a decent place to exist.

Well I pay taxes (about to get off disability) and don't go out of my way to reduce it, so I do care I suppose, the welfare state / "socialised medicine" got me through in my time of need that's all you need really and pets of cause .

I would never put myself in a situation where I became dependent on some one.

Wow...this is one thread that would not just confirm the existence of female aspies, but absolutely scare off anyone interested in them with the intese ammount of sarcasm and disdain emanating from their posts.

What I mean by this (and please forgive me if i overstepped my bounds already....I tend to mix up my words and meanings alot), is that I think the OP meant no ill will towards anyone, just an opinion of disbelief in the "science" of Psychology. The sarcastic responses...not exactly ther most encouraging thing in the world. My ex was just officially diagnosed, so from a psychological standpoitnt (as well as from the personal standpoint of being married to her for years and getting to know her inside and out and coping with our triggers bouncing off one another like ping pong balls), I can say YES, they do exist.

Is the sarcasm a coping mechanism? Maybe I'm just not reading right....again, it seems to be something i fail at often.

there actually wasn't much sarcasm. people (women AND MEN) joked to blow off steam after some general indignation over what the OP stated. his first 2 posts sought to question the existence of female aspies, but he did not question the existence of male aspies in those posts. he made blanket statements about their diagnostic status, which did not extend to men so really it had nothing to do with the science of psychology. his opinions were frankly hurtful to some women here.

perhaps you might want to reread his first 2 posts to see what people are getting upset about?

i can definitely see where those statements would appear hurtful (or are hurtful, if I'm wording this correctly). Part of me wants to think, however, that the OP merely misspoke. I guess i want to believe his intentions, although obviously misguided, were genuine. (I blame this on my overwhelming trust in humanity.....you can refer to this as gullibility if you wish).

Psychologists are a starnge breed. It's funny how easily child Psychs diagnosed our children, but when my Ex began searching for answers herself, they gave ger every diagnosis under the sun except ASD. The child Psych looked at her and after hearing her ramble everything from paranoid Schizoid to Social anxiety to ADHD Combined (a total of 12 diagnoses), he looked at her and said "You are clearly on the spectrum". With such strange differences in the way they diagnose and treat, I can see why the OP distrusts them so.

THAT SAID, I once again agree that the statements themselves were hurtful. I do apologize if anything I said was harmful as well. I just tend to interpret things wrong from time to time....well, more often than not.

Does anyone like to be told they don't exist? How would you feel if someone told you you don't exist?

I personally am not a fragile butterfly, a pushover, or a weak-willed person. Also, I can guarantee the OP I do exist. If somebody walked up to me IRL and said those things to me that he has generalized about aspie girls on this thread - basically that we're fakes, we're lying about our diagnosis, etc., I wouldn't take it lying down. I would defend myself. If I was the sort of person who would just take it lying down, and take every word to heart like all the cruel things people had said to me before, I'm pretty sure I'd've been dead years ago. I know of female aspies who couldn't take the pain or rejection and killed themselves. I feel it's the same way with male aspies.

Those of us who are adults on this forum are survivors. We are tough, because we have to be. We know how to defend ourselves. If I scare off any potential "suitor" that tells me he thinks I "don't exist" or implies that I am faking my diagnosis then this is probably a good thing.

To be told we don't exist, and thus what we have been through is a lie, is particularly hurtful to those of us who have suffered years of bullying and hardship. Yes, we will be over-sensitive and defensive in response to this.

I first started seriously considering suicide at the age of 12 as a way out from the verbal and sometimes physical abuse I received every day from my peers. From the age of 4 onwards, when I first went to kindergarten, I was ostracized and tormented. I cried every single day after school for years. Twice I had someone I thought was my only friend, turn around and out of the blue - with no warning - tell me they hated me and didn't want me around them any more. At some point in grade 9, I reached the bottom - where I realized things couldn't get worse. Obviously the bullying could always escalate and be worse, but I couldn't be more damaged and hurt inside and after years of this my self esteem had reached rock bottom. I had nothing to be afraid of, and nothing to fear any more. It was empowering. I decided "enough". From that day forwards, I started to change who I am. Before, I had been a very sensitive child, easily hurt, a doormat who wouldn't stand up for herself. Now I became stronger inside, harder, and braver. Over years not only did I begin to change and build a place for myself in the world, but I also reached out more to others rather than living inside myself on a permanent basis.

I am proud of who I am. I am proud to be strong, and outspoken, and tough. I am also proud of my empathy, and of how much I care for the welfare of all others. Just because I will defend myself against hurtful labeling (in a friendly, joking, but firm way - I have no intention to hurt other peoples feelings) doesn't mean I would EVER do something to deliberately hurt another person. Defending myself doesn't make me a mean or nasty person.

Can you see how being told we're lying about who we are, and everything we've experienced, simply because we're female and may present differently to males, can be extremely hurtful to aspie girls?

Also, I may come across quite strongly above but I am not hurt by what you said at all, or particularly by what the OP said, because I know it was said in ignorance. Believe it or not, I'm a pretty easy-going person. Just strongly spoken about certain topics that I feel very strongly about

LOL - BTW, your sig made me smile - I think I said something very similar at Uni many moons ago.

If you're looking for a female Aspie, OP, - you should have come to my daughter's playgroup and observed for a while.

I would have been the one sitting in a corner reading a book and not talking to anyone while all the other boring women gossiped about inconsequentialities for two hours.

I really wish there were a Thanks button, or even a clapping smiley I could put here, but there isn't either, so I will just say - GREAT POST!! !

I am nothing but Love, and I only want to see the good part in people, not their stupidity
Why am I getting belittled by people -so- happy to be diagnosed...maybe they consider benefits?.

Is it so cool being a famous Aspie, in your dreams?

You can't choose your family, you can't choose to be an Aspie.

Here is a non exhaustive list of other conditions that can look like Asperger's and fool tests and doctors.

Autism

Childhood disintegrative disorder

Rett disorder

Schizophrenia

Schizotypal disorder

Schizoid personality disorder

Adult attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder

Obsessive–compulsive disorder

Depression

Semantic pragmatic disorder

Deficits in attention, motor control and perception

Multidimensionally impaired disorder

Multiple complex developmental disorder

Cerebellar affective syndrome

Developmental learning disability of the right hemisphere (social–emotional learning disorder)

Non-verbal learning disability



It can take a lifetime for mental illness to be diagnosed with certainty.

And I am not so sure about Asperger's being a disease as long as you can manage the side effects.

So far I've been pretty open on here about the fact that I am not only a self-diagnosed Aspie but also only very recently (3 months ago), so I might not be the best person to answer this, but, as I seem to have passed through the disbelief and anger stages of realisation, as well as most of the enlightenment "Oh my god" Eureka moments stages, and I am currently going through an all-out "Aspie Pride" stage that has seen me searching the internet for mugs etc., maybe I am

I may only recently have discovered the term "Aspergers" but I have always known I'm different. I've always been alienated and never understood why. I had so many things "wrong" with me that I didn't feel able to admit to anybody, that I would never have dreamed might be related. At any given moment in the last 30 or so years, I would have been happy to drop dead.

Then somebody mentioned Aspergers, and as well as the other books I have mentioned in this thread, I read Tony Attwood's "Complete Guide to.." from cover to cover, and oh my god, it was like reading an analysis of my own life! Everything except the sensitivity to physical touch applies to me. The Aspergers diagnosis, even if it's never confirmed by an "expert", explains everything that's "wrong" with me. Everything! That still blows my mind. Maybe I'm not Aspie. Who cares? For the first time in my life I want to live. I want to find out who I really am and what I'm really capable of. I don't hate myself anymore, I discovered that I don't have to hate myself anymore. Even if I'm mistaken with my self-diagnosis, which I'm sure I'm not, how can that be wrong??

Is it cool to be Aspie? I'm sure everyone has their own answer to that, but I'm certainly pretty excited about it

I don't know if that answers your questions, but that's my answer anyway

there was no love in your original post, only negativity such as criticism and gender-specific generalisations.


you have it backwards.... YOU belittled US, and are still continuing to do it right here ^^^

since you are implying we want to be aspies for some kind of gain, please share the benefits of being an aspie because i haven't experienced anything positive as a result of an AS diagnosis.

i think your whole thread would have gone better if you had not divided your criticism along gendered lines, or if you had spoken only for yourself. by directing your negativity at women specifically, you undermined your whole argument about AS and managed to upset a lot of people. if you want to receive love on the boards, you must also demonstrate love.

Just a thought since this is about if girls can have as shouldnt it belong in somewhere like general as discussion instead of here?

Also do we need to keep going on about this thread?, op had misconceptions about as we cleared them on page 1 and somehow the thread has remained for several pages explaining something that was already explained on page 1

Almost all of those are true for males as well as females. (I'll give you that Rett's affects almost exclusively girls.) Your statements were that specifically females were lying. In plenty of cases we have looked into alternatives, as have our doctors, and this is where we were classified. Yet, because I happen to have two X chromosomes you've determined I'm lying, while if I had a Y chromosome I'd not be?

True, I might have been a misdiagnosis, but we've minimized that possibility and its not suddenly more likely because I'm female. I fit the diagnostic criteria. I've done almost a decade of research myself and have been diagnosed by a neuropsychologist who had explicitly studied ASDs.

I just happen to be female.

If your point was that misdiagnosis occurs, of course it does, if your point was that you've never met an aspie female, sure, you haven't met everyone, but you were trying to say that you think that every one of us is lying, which is not acceptable, and far from "nothing but love".

Yes, I am happy to be diagnosed. I'm happy that I'm finally getting help that I need that I required a diagnosis for. If I had gotten another diagnosis, and gotten help from that, that would have been just as good.

I didn't respond to your first post because I thought you were just ignorant and others could explain, the fact that you've repetitively belittled us eventually caused me to reply, except I don't feel like any of my posts will be taken seriously because my diagnosis and 9 years of research on the topic apparently means nothing because of what sex I happen to be.

Last edited by Tuttle on 26 Oct 2011, 3:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

well, he seems to still be misunderstanding, as evidenced by his most recent posts on the thread. so members will likely keep on explaining it to him.