An NT seeking advice to get through to an aspie.

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Be careful with having a friend act as a go between. If someone told me someone else liked me, my first reaction would be to wonder why the guy didn't tell me to my face and I'd be a bit skeptical about the guys' intentions. Just make sure that the friend is someone that the girl trusts and warn the person to be very direct and this approach might work.

I think that approach is very shady and manipulative and easier to backfire. It seems his tactic is more concerned with saving face than expressing your devotion which you say you have. If you really did then your saving face wouldn't even be an issue, therefore I think if she is a good person her reaction should be one of skepticism if not complete distrust by that approach.

The only reason I got together with my former wife is because she grabbed and kissed me, then I understood that she liked me. I don't know if it's a good idea for a man to try that with a lady he likes though.

If a friend told me that some third party (a woman) liked me, I would confirm it with the woman directly. I've had people tell me that women (whom I'd known for 10 minutes) like me, and I refused to believe them!

Which is why I don't think the friend as a go-between is a good idea, with either a NT or an Aspie. You'll just have to risk the rejection and ask her out even more directly than you have already - "Do you want to go to the homecoming dance?"

Katequan, you said that you had asked her to Homecoming, and wasn't that direct enough. (sorry, I'm not a fan of long quotes). As others have pointed out, no, it's not direct enough.

I understand that Homecoming is a big deal in the U.S. but having asked her to go with you is surely merely a stepping stone (you hope) on the way to something else/more. That is why it is not direct enough. Tell her that you are interested in a relationship, but please do that only if that's what you actually want. You like her now because she seems quirky but she isn't quirky, she is how she is. What you call quirkiness will not necessarily change and may even become more pronounced. I guess what I'm saying is, make sure that you are sure, as it were. As you will have seen from this forum, relationships can be more difficult for Aspies and many go through a lot of rejection, more so I reckon than NTs.

Hello guys, thanks for posting responses to my questions, and I'd just like to tell you that I did talk to her straight up and made my intentions 100% clear. It seemed to come out of left fieled to her, even though I had spent months giving her not too subtle hints that I liked her (I wased teased by classmates about liking her, even the teacher asked me if we were going out.) In the end she said no, though.

Sorry pal, that's too bad. But good for you for having been up front with her and for having spoken to her about your intentions. That's the way to do it and sometimes even works on NTs!

A bit further down the line, once it's no longer painful/awkward for you and if you still like her personality then be her friend. Not as a consolation prize (for either of you) but because you like her and if she has told you that she is interested in friendship. I don't know what teenage etiquette in the U.S. is like, in other words whether non romantic friendships between the sexes is something that people are interested in.

If you do go for a friendship just be totally open about everything. Explain what you would like to do (go for a walk, or go and see a film, but not as a date and without secretly hoping it turns into one) and why. Strictly hands off. Get her agreement for everything before you plan stuff, even if it's just going to a burger bar. I'd say, no surprises of any kind unless she tells you she's ok with surprises. Perhaps you get the drift.