Can we just get rid of this forum?

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myth
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28 Oct 2011, 1:11 pm

vilin66 wrote:

If a guy says women care about money and a girl who "doesn't" reads it and makes it her lifes work to beat the guy for it, what's the point? if it doesn't apply, why get offended? The only reason I can think of is that.......well, maybe it does apply to them. Otherwise why would they get offended?

Well, personally, I dislike things that are untrue. Therefore, I might object to someone making a statement like "women care about money" if I didn't because I am a woman and I don't and therefore that statement is untrue. In the above example, I would not take offense at the statement "many women care about money" or "a lot of women care about money" or maybe even "most women care about money." Do you see the difference?

vilin66 wrote:

The women are allowed to say things about men, but when the men want to say things about women, suddenly all the "that's sexist" "you're a misogynist woman hater" cards come out. Seems like a double standard thing.

If you can provide examples of a female making blanket statements about all males, I'm sure a mod would be willing to speak with them. I know that if I saw something like that, I would definately come to males' defense since I typically tend to see their side more than the stereotypical female side in the dating game.

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hyperlexian
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28 Oct 2011, 1:15 pm

myth wrote:

hyperlexian, the numbers 1 and 2 (aside from the fetish/excretory function parts) of the rules you quoted is just a more indepth way of saying "deliberately attacking someone" - groups of people (eg genders, race, or sexual orientation) still count as "someone" to me. Or at least that was my intended meaning. I didn't address 3 as I don't think it applies in this case.

My point is, he can express himself he should just qualify his statements instead of directing them at all women.

number 1 covers generalisations against groups of people (among other things), which may or may not be "deliberate". a person may not have specific individuals in mind when they say "all women are gold-digging whores", so it is a separate rule from personal attacks, where a known individual is targeted.

the person's intention is not of great concern when applying the rules, except in the sense that if a member makes a mistake on a rare occasion it is distinct from a member who repeatedly disregards the rules.

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vilin66
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28 Oct 2011, 1:21 pm

I can't find any myth, but I'm sure it happens regularly. I just don't understand why the men here get censored more than women. I've seen this on every internet forum I've been to, especially ones about relationships and dating. There appears to be some kind of anti-male opression agenda out there. I could be wrong, but I think I'm right.

myth
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28 Oct 2011, 1:23 pm

Everything typed is deliberate, you can't very well unconsciously type something

As to whether it is intended as an attack or not can potentially be debatable, which I think is your point. I very much believe that intentions should be taken into account, but I accept your statement that they are not.

I admit that I may not have worded my statement properly. But my intention was to communicate to vilin66 that he can express his opinion, he just can't expect to do so without receiving feedback that might be contrary to his opinion. Especially if he is generalizing as long as he is not generalizing like he has been doing here, which is typically not well received.

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Last edited by myth on 28 Oct 2011, 3:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

spongy
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28 Oct 2011, 1:24 pm

vilin66 wrote:

Males and females are treated the same way by the same standard.
Provide us of a female breaking this rule and she´ll be contacted about it

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hyperlexian
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28 Oct 2011, 1:26 pm

vilin66 wrote:

Well if it generalizes to the the women here, why do they get ticked by it? If a guy says women care about money and a girl who "doesn't" reads it and makes it her lifes work to beat the guy for it, what's the point? if it doesn't apply, why get offended? The only reason I can think of is that.......well, maybe it does apply to them. Otherwise why would they get offended? This is just the typical type of behavior I've seen on here. The women are allowed to say things about men, but when the men want to say things about women, suddenly all the "that's sexist" "you're a misogynist woman hater" cards come out. Seems like a double standard thing.

you have all kinds of fallacies in you statements above, but i can't be arsed to point them out. suffice it to say it's against the rules to make statements that generalise about men or women.

some people also choose to argue or demonstrate the exceptions when generalisations happen. that is ther prerogative. if you want to have a one-sided complaint with no challenges, then you'd need to go find a forum of yes-men.

and feel free to point out where women have broken the rules too - we try hard to treat men and women fairly, which you might realise once you have been here a while with more than a handful of posts.

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myth
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28 Oct 2011, 1:32 pm

vilin66 - I am inclined to agree with you in regards to the media in general. I believe this is because, as a result of history, some women tend to feel opressed by men. Therefore when something happens that they interpret as oppression, they revolt. An example would be a TV commercial where a husband is portrayed as being unintelligent and childish and the woman rolls her eyes at him and fixes whatever situation had occured. This happens very frequently in the media and it is my opinion that many females would feel very offended if the roles were reversed.

So, to some level I agree with you. However, I have yet to see that attitude displayed on WP. Secondly, I believe it is just as wrong to then turn things the opposite way and say that *blank* is another example of this anti-male attitude just because the participant happens to be male, etc. Isn't that exactly what the "female rights" type groups do? "So-and-so didn't get a promotion because she is a female!!" etc.

I really wish everyone would be less gender-conscious on both sides and deal with people as individuals.

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Adam82
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28 Oct 2011, 3:49 pm

myth wrote:

I personally know of several spectrum males that got their very first girlfriends in their 20's.

What about 30s? I turn 30 next year. If it's best to just give up looking, I'd rather hear it straight, now, than find that out later.

myth
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28 Oct 2011, 3:57 pm

Adam82, a sentence after the one of mine that you quoted says:

Quote:

True, it may be too much to hope for and you're probably better off assuming it won't happen.. but that doesn't mean it can't.

So, yes, some AS guys have had girlfriends long past the "regular time." Unfortunately this doesn't necessarily mean that it will happen for you. My point was that it can happen. No one can say for sure whether you will or won't find someone. But, in general, it's best to try to be happy with what you have now instead of pining away for something you don't. That's true for everyone aspie or not.

Easier said than done, I know.

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vilin66
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28 Oct 2011, 4:33 pm

myth wrote:

Well I'm glad at least one woman understands what I'm getting at. I have lots of respect for women like that who at least acknowledge. The ones who get offended by what I say here, are the ones who are exactly the way I describe, I think I hit them at the core of their psyche or something.

daveydino
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28 Oct 2011, 4:36 pm

Successful troll is successful!

vilin66
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28 Oct 2011, 4:42 pm

So if you disagree with someone, that means they are a troll? That's news to me. Kinda contradictory for a forum that claims as being supportive for people who deal with mental issues, but at the same time practice censorship tactics like the troll card when someone disagrees with the "cult" mentality.

spongy
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28 Oct 2011, 4:45 pm

vilin66 wrote:

If you start questioning well known members with less than 20 posts and you start providing controversial opinions without listening to any input others give its hard to find someone that will take you seriously instead of thinking that you are just doing it for the attention.

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Who_Am_I
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28 Oct 2011, 9:12 pm

vilin66 wrote:

Because with generalisations, people who make them will often automatically assume that because you are in category x, you will have y trait. I've even seen generalisers accuse people of lying when they offer themselves as a counter-example. Speaking out against generalisations fights that.

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PM
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28 Oct 2011, 10:48 pm

What would be the point of getting rid of it? It serves a purpose for some members.

I have said this before, look past the negativity.

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Surfman
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28 Oct 2011, 10:54 pm

I cant believe how easy it is to have hippie sex with the anti corporation protesters amassing in our cities, RIGHT NOW

Its like 70's free love with ADHD drop outs, punks, freaks and angry polynesian's

Even the older crew are all little dirty root rats

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