Infidelity and Aspergers

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A man or woman can look at other people and leave it at that. I know lots of people in relationships who comment frequently about how cute/hot whomever is, but they never do anything to get with someone else. Yes I can see how patrolling such websites could be grouped with the cheating category. From most of the comments thus far though there is a lesser interest it would appear in bothering to cheat than in the general public. Even if some are lying, its still likely a smaller percentage than the general public. And if as you say people are lying about the getting away with it, than the more specified poll wouldn't matter anyway.

I wouldn't cheat in a relationship. Or at least, I hope not.

That being said, if my wife/girlfriend cheated on me, I'd be deeply hurt. But I'd try to get to the root of the issue. I'd want to be open and honest about it. Maybe I wasn't giving her enough attention or I wasn't being open with her or something.

Of course, I'd need time alone to think things through as well. Then, I'd ask her how she felt and if she wanted to continue our relationship.

For me, personally, I'd think these things happen often and I'd want to be a committed person who tries to understand the other person. That doesn't mean I'll excuse them but I feel relationships are about growth and I feel like we could work together and grow together to make this foundation stronger. I wouldn't want to point fingers.



But then, I've never had a girlfriend, so what I do know?

I wrote an article in my blog (check the sig) in regards to the above topic. Check it out.

I see no signature.

I've never had anyone to cheat on.

I had an affair on my first husband. I felt/feel horrible about it, and would never even think of doing it again. I was about 26 when that happened. Been cheated on by others. It is not a good feeling.

^^^
there's more than enough pain to go around.

I know that this was not directed at anyone in particular. But as someone who does well enough attracting women (not that I've had no trouble at all, and money is as elusive as ever), I'll say that it not a matter of being "not too badly afflicted," nor is it one of "sheer mental horsepower." It is a willingness to keep trying, each failure can be a learning experience. With enough practice, anyone can overcome (at least, for short bursts) their "proclivity to maladaptive behaviors."

Also, an ability to function in one particular area of social interaction does not mean that the person is equally capable in every situation. It can mean that the person is just more interested in that type of interaction than in any other (thus, more willing to keep practicing). For instance, while I am good enough at making some women like me in the short-term (my gf is a miraculous exception to the "short-term" part), finding and especially keeping a group of friends has so far proven impossible.

at least you were able to have buddies [of whatever gender] in the first place. you still have some social intelligence. i envy you.

you will find and keep friends that are appropriate for you, this i believe.

Depends on your definition of cheat. I started a new relationship while still legally married to an old one but the old relationship had very clearly ended and I made no pretenses about it to him. We were no longer sleeping in the same bed or anything.

Some would consider that cheating because of the legal status.