Nice guys who have been treated badly

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I am nice it's just (I hope I'm not a hyprocrit about niceness when saying this) it will take many years for someone to finally acknowledge me, like an old vase that turns out to be worth thousands one day. My family know I am nice though. It's funny, really.

On the internet I don't know how to prove I'm nice. It would take a long time of getting to know me in real life.

I also may have said some bad things in the past that people may remember, and I may be judged on just those parts.

I'm not, really. I am however obsessed with "nice" jerks with ignorant opinions. I want to shake some sense into them.

How to become a jerk and f**k a boatload of women:

1. Look good and buy in fashion clothes.

2. Be mean and indifferent to most people's feelings.

3. Appear and act like you're the s**t.

4. Be charismatic.

5. Appear easily annoyed and irritated.

6. Have no qualms about stepping on your peers' toes in order to snake a woman, job position, etc.

If you're going to sin you might as well go the whole nine.

You do realize that only works with immature girls right? (and not nearly as often as you think)

I see them as doing a service by decoying the girls away from the women who are actually worth dating...

I thought you were one of the "nice guys" who were complaining that no one dates you? How come your attitude changed so suddenly? Are you simply in the process of trying to "convince yourself" of a better way o thinking and inevitably failing from time to time?



The word in bold, was it meant to be "guys", or am I misunderstanding you?

Well, it's true that I don't get a lot of dates, but I am definitely NOT in the "women owe it to me because I'm such a nice guy" club. Most of my friends are women even though there's no romantic compatibility between us.

Yes, I meant "girls" - females who are attracted to douchebags, regardless of their age, are not acting like the mature women really worth knocking yourself out for...

If you meant "girls" then you were saying women were preventing girls from dating other women. This won't make sense unless you are talking about lesbians.

Oh, I see what you're misunderstanding now.

Imagine the immature girls are black sheep, and the desirable women are the white sheep. You'd like to only date the white sheep (this is NOT an invitation to share sheep jokes ) except you are color blind and can't tell the difference between the two just by looking at them. The douchebag serves the function of luring the black sheep away from the white sheep, effectively seperating the two. One has to only target the ones that do not congregate around the douchebag to know which ones are white.

Isn't that simple?

My first question is,... Why would you snap at a nice guy?

if you snap at anyone their defense mechanism may kick in. they may say things they probably dont actually mean

Second is,.......How can they prove you wrong?

just by not bitching, being rude, sexist, or ???????

I really can't remember seeing a girl snap at a true jerk or fake guy, mostly it's always the easiest target who lacks confidence who gets the venom.

Exactly, the same can be applied to girls, whereas if a guy is to disagree with a girl, it's seen as something similar to kicking Bambi and she is instantly defended by a horde of white knights simply for being a "hot" girl.

It can also be applied to girls who think having a set of aesthetics makes them think they have a free pass and it's actually nice guys who cause women to think like this by putting them on a pedestal, men need to start thinking with their brain instead of their sexual desire or desire to appease social or peer pressure. I think Hale_Bopp has got a point, the less nice guys and guys putting women on a pedestal there is, the better.

I fail to see how taking effort to make yourself look good makes you a jerk. Sure obsessing about fashion is a little silly, but it doesn't hurt anyone.



Just being a dick to everyone, with no good reason, does not help a guy get sexed. But letting other's feelings get in the way of living your life to the fullest is just foolishness. At a certain point you have to ignore other's feelings. No matter what you do, someone somewhere is going to be bothered by it.



If you don't think of yourself as worthwhile, why should anyone else?



How does this make someone a jerk?



Trust me, this does not help you get laid.



If a woman is more interested in guy A rather than guy B, then guy A is who she should be with. If the woman is more interested in guy B, but he doesn't have the huevos to make a move, that's his own fault.

Really, I think this is what hinders "nice guys" the most. They can't get up the courage to approach women so, to protect their own egos, they declare the guys who can "jerks." So they never make a move, then wonder why women go for the guys that (gasp, shudder) actually express an interest in them.

There are genuine nice guys who get screwed over but, then again, that happens to everyone sometimes. Nice guys, as*holes, even women. It's rare to find a person who hasn't been treated poorly by someone.

If a "nice guy" is truly not just after sex, then why is he so upset when the people who are end up together. And if he is after sex, then maybe he just needs a better strategy.

Then what about the situations when they DO express interest and get turned down? I know in some of such caases they "waited too long" to express interest. But still, even if they did it late, if woman likes him why can't she say "okay finally he made a move, lets be with him now". I mean suppose I really want to eat and don't have food; but then I get food in few hours. I won't say "too late, I have already given up on eating so I won't eat it".

Now lets turn our attention to the case when a guy "never" makes a move (just so we can neatly separate different questions for our convenience). Also, lets say, for the sake of the argument, that your description is correct: suppose woman actually likes the guy. In this case, the only thing that stops her from making a move is "gender stereotype" that a man should be the first to make a move. Now, the fact that "jerks" do better than "nice guys" is another gender stereotype: a man should be manly (and nice guy isn't). So ironically what you say and what "nice guys" say is really just two different sides of the same coin: fulfilling gender roles is more important than true love. This is really what I have the most issues with.



But we are talking about numbers here. A jerk has a bunch of friends and a bunch of enemies, so when enemies hurt him the firends will be telling him what kinds of so and so that other guy is for saying such "crap". On the other hand, a nice guy has no friends at all. Most people ignore him, and a few hurt him. Since the few who hurt him are the only interaction he has, that naturally becomes the only part of his experience.



I am not after sex. My sex drive was the highest back when I was a teenager, and back then I didn't care about women since physics was all that was important. Right now I have small sex drive compared to most people, yet I am obsessed about dating women. The reason I want a girl is a combination of self esteem and loneliness. If a woman chooses someone else over me, that would hurt my self esteem, and thats why I would be upset.

In terms of the "loneliness" part, I guess accepting "friendship" could make me feel less lonely. But the problem is that no one wants to be friends with someone who has low opinion of them. So since I perceive the woman who rejected me as "disaproving" me, I can't be friends with her either.

Now you might ask me why can't I be friends with men so that this won't be an issue? Well, for some reason, whenever I am lonely I want female attention rather than male attention. Probably subconsciously there might be sexual component to it, who knows. But I am not after actual sex either.

Last edited by Roman on 05 Nov 2011, 1:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Most of the guys I've known or hung with that had those characteristics were complete and utter douches. They were very mean and condescending, and they always acted like they were above people like me.

They'd talk down to me, make snide comments about me being ugly and not being able to so much as get a girl to talk to me. It was like they expected me to be thankful and honored that someone like them would hang out with someone like me. Maybe their awesomeness would rub off on me if I payed enough attention.

Sure the women loved them because they were cute, interesting, etc. They got boatloads of sex easily. It's ok though, in the next life I'll have the last laugh.

.

I agree with you though, on the so called "nice guys" complaining about not getting sex. It's such an evil sin to do it any kind of way w/o being married that it really shouldn't matter how they get it.

If they're really frustrated then they should try a prostitute or an escort, not much difference between that and casual sex. I don't see any problems doing it that way, unless you let your pride and/or ego get in the way.

In that case you're not really that frustrated and you shouldn't be complaining.

Girls just don't like nice guys and go for the alphas. Unfortunately, it's an instinct, but you CAN do something about it. Becoming a d-bag is not the way to go. Try adjusting your looks, become more outgoing, and grow a trustworthy set of friends. You'll be a ladies man in no time.

My husband is truly a nice guy. He would never say anything mean, not even for self defense and he won't fight back but yet he would literally kill the person if they molested our son. If someone tried to hurt me, I am sure he would beat the person up. But as a kid he was bullied because he never stood up for himself. He said he be stooping down to their level if he did. So that enabled more bullying.

I never understood how women don't like nice guys.