Aspies- good or bad parents?

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Mad_Jessie
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11 Nov 2011, 3:54 pm

Me I have always wanted to form a family with someone special and have children. But know that I have my aspergers diagnosis I just don't know if I would be a good mother.
I lack of patience. I hate to stress and hurry to many activities. I sleep 9-12 hours a day and if I don't get enough sleep I just become mean. I hate food and doesn't have any cocking skills. Etc. Etc.

Why do I want children when I know in my heart that I would be a terrible mother?


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hartzofspace
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11 Nov 2011, 4:24 pm

Those are minor character flaws, and that doesn't mean you wouldn't be a good mother. But IMO, unless you 100% want to commit the next 20 years or so to another persons needs, don't have children.


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Mad_Jessie
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11 Nov 2011, 4:44 pm

I wonder how many parents regret having children in the first place.

I love children. When they aren't my own. It would be a totally other deal if it were my own I guess.
I usually run from any type of commitment like I had the devil himself chasing after me.

I guess I am not suited to become a mother.

Anyhow. This went out to be about me when I really wanted to discuss aspies as parents in general.

Are they suited?

But at the same time. Are any person fit to be a parent?


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MacDragard
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11 Nov 2011, 4:48 pm

If you tell yourself you will be a terrible mother, you will surrender and become one.

If you tell yourself you will be a great mother and do what you can to work hard without giving up, you will be a great mother.

No social disorder can control your fate.



Mad_Jessie
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11 Nov 2011, 4:56 pm

I guess I've gotten stuck in the Asperger part of me. I only see my problems. When I got my diagnosis I was told to read a lot about it. Everything I lernt was that I have this and that problem in life. And with my depression I guess I don't see my good sides. Cuz I don't really think I have one.


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League_Girl
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11 Nov 2011, 5:33 pm

It may be your biological clock ticking. People are wired to want to have children because it's a way to reproduce. It happens in animals too and we are animals. But not everyone has that desire to want kids and some do have the desire but don't want any because that is their logical side and their emotions are telling them to have kids but their logic tells them they shouldn't.


I think admitting all your faults and how it may effect your kids and parenting is a good sign that you will be a great mother because then you will be working on that stuff.


I would suggest you find a partner first (if you don't have one yet).



SoftlyStepping
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11 Nov 2011, 6:26 pm

Mad_Jessie wrote:
I guess I am not suited to become a mother.


You're asking the question, and you're thinking about it, which are all signs that you care. If you had kids, I'm sure you will do fine.

That being said, it's perfectly acceptable not to have kids.

Be aware that there are lots of people out there who are all starry eyed about it. It's fine to disregard them.

League_Girl wrote:
I would suggest you find a partner


Could be fun. Could be a waste of time. It's up to you, really.