Can we just get rid of this forum?

Page 8 of 15 [ 237 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 ... 15  Next

rasol
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 49

22 Nov 2011, 9:57 am

Lonermutant wrote:
I don't see the need for the "Love and dating forum". If you can't get a girl-/boyfriend, it's all about genetics, not social skills.


What you say is true for the most part but it's not all about genetics though.

It is also the kind of environment you live in (both living and nonliving), the food you eat (and how much you eat), the chemical makeup of your brain and also how you take care of yourself.

Genetics, your brain chemistry, the food you eat and the living + nonliving environmental circumstances you find youself in all get to decide if you will be able to attract a mate or not.



OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

22 Nov 2011, 3:57 pm

Lonermutant wrote:
I don't see the need for the "Love and dating forum". If you can't get a girl-/boyfriend, it's all about genetics, not social skills. We are not genetically programmed to have friends, to date, have sex or to have children. We are all genetically programmed to be loners without any need for social contact with other people and therefore most of us lack the need for friendship and lack any feeling of lonelyness.
The majority of the posts I see here are from desperate men who are unable to live up to "being normal". If you are tormented by your sex drive, either stick to porn or get chemically castrated! Quit bothering people with the fact that you can't get laid. Yes, I know I've been the same way, but I've accepted that I'm unable to get anyone into bed.


Really? Because I have AS - diagnosed - and I dated. I have friends. I socialize. I'm married and have children. There are quiet a few of us who are in the same situation. Of course there are others who aren't, and those who don't want any of that. Just as there are NT's in both boats.

Yeah, guys do whine about not having girlfriends. NT's do it too. The guy who pointed out my AS to me, which prompted me to research it and then go to a therapist who diagnosed me, is married. He has AS. He's been married two years. He wasn't at the time though, he's a friend of my older kids.


Frances



NaomiDB
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 211

22 Nov 2011, 4:21 pm

Lonermutant wrote:
Burzum wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
No, it's purely genetic programming. I don't believe in teaching social skills.

Do you also not believe in teaching language? It is the exact same premise. Most animals are born knowing their language instinctively. Humans are taught language. Now simply apply this concept to aspies vs NTs for body language, etc.


I don't believe that one can learn to be social or to get friends.

I taught myself social skills It took a long time but I can do it now, even if it is forced



Jeffrey228
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 23 Apr 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 152

22 Nov 2011, 11:45 pm

Lonermutant wrote:
I don't see the need for the "Love and dating forum". If you can't get a girl-/boyfriend, it's all about genetics, not social skills. We are not genetically programmed to have friends, to date, have sex or to have children. We are all genetically programmed to be loners without any need for social contact with other people and therefore most of us lack the need for friendship and lack any feeling of lonelyness.

The majority of the posts I see here are from desperate men who are unable to live up to "being normal". If you are tormented by your sex drive, either stick to porn or get chemically castrated! Quit bothering people with the fact that you can't get laid. Yes, I know I've been the same way, but I've accepted that I'm unable to get anyone into bed.


The thing is, that because more females have been going for things that really discourage Autism Spectrum Disorders and more Nuro Typical people, those who are criminals, Street Gangs, Druggies, Heavy Smokers, Heavy Drinkers, and wear clothing that is obscene(such as baddy or saggy clothing).



Surfman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Aug 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,938
Location: Homeward bound

23 Nov 2011, 12:00 am

You may actually find many of those sorts of people DO HAVE autism spectrum differences.... or more accurately ADHD..... *differences*

yo



artrat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,269
Location: The Butthole of the American Empire

23 Nov 2011, 1:49 am

Lonermutant wrote:
I don't see the need for the "Love and dating forum". If you can't get a girl-/boyfriend, it's all about genetics, not social skills. We are not genetically programmed to have friends, to date, have sex or to have children. We are all genetically programmed to be loners without any need for social contact with other people and therefore most of us lack the need for friendship and lack any feeling of loneliness.
The majority of the posts I see here are from desperate men who are unable to live up to "being normal". If you are tormented by your sex drive, either stick to porn or get chemically castrated! Quit bothering people with the fact that you can't get laid. Yes, I know I've been the same way, but I've accepted that I'm unable to get anyone into bed.


If this is true then I should just kill myself right now! My goal in life is to have Friends and a relationship. We can defiantly feel loneliness.
Right now I feel very lonely. I am female not a desperate man at all. This is really depressing. It's like talking to a scientist about aspergers and I hate science. It's emotionless,cold and hard to understand.



RICKY5
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,201

14 Dec 2011, 9:59 pm

Adam82 wrote:
myth wrote:
I personally know of several spectrum males that got their very first girlfriends in their 20's.


What about 30s? I turn 30 next year. If it's best to just give up looking, I'd rather hear it straight, now, than find that out later.


Get a well-reviewed GFE escort.



RawSugar
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 1 Aug 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 168
Location: Alberta, Canada

15 Dec 2011, 12:12 am

Lonermutant wrote:
I don't see the need for the "Love and dating forum". If you can't get a girl-/boyfriend, it's all about genetics, not social skills. We are not genetically programmed to have friends, to date, have sex or to have children. We are all genetically programmed to be loners without any need for social contact with other people and therefore most of us lack the need for friendship and lack any feeling of lonelyness.
The majority of the posts I see here are from desperate men who are unable to live up to "being normal". If you are tormented by your sex drive, either stick to porn or get chemically castrated! Quit bothering people with the fact that you can't get laid. Yes, I know I've been the same way, but I've accepted that I'm unable to get anyone into bed.


This is awesome because you just described what I strongly suspect to be yourself.

Also, almost every human being, or mammal for that manner, is genetically programmed to have sex and reproduce. I used to study biology. They teach us these things. It's called instinct. I have Asperger's, I am also human. I have animal instincts. I am not like a unicellular organism that will reproduce via meiosis.

Lastly, I find your attitude to be highly negative. Have you considered that people, or in particular, women do not feel inspired to socialize with you because of your negative attitude? This is based off of observation. I for one, found your post to be highly unpleasant and if I was to judge you solely based on it I know that I would not wish to socialize with you. There are some men out there that pique my interest because they seem like genuinely interesting people. I am somewhat anti-social, but I do absolutely love to delve into a conversation about something that I am interested in. Sure, it may seem one sided, but some people like that.



RICKY5
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,201

15 Dec 2011, 12:18 am

hyperlexian wrote:
Surfman wrote:
then why visit a forum if you dont need others?

or are not programmed

to relate with others....

Maybe its more difficult, or comes less naturally

The aspie tendency to prattle on and on is a obvious attempt to relate, its just we are really bad at it

all good points, very well stated.


Holy s**t! I actually agree with you on something! :P



RawSugar
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 1 Aug 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 168
Location: Alberta, Canada

15 Dec 2011, 12:19 am

RICKY5 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Surfman wrote:
then why visit a forum if you dont need others?

or are not programmed

to relate with others....

Maybe its more difficult, or comes less naturally

The aspie tendency to prattle on and on is a obvious attempt to relate, its just we are really bad at it

all good points, very well stated.


Holy sh**! I actually agree with you on something! :P

This.



hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

15 Dec 2011, 12:21 am

RICKY5 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Surfman wrote:
then why visit a forum if you dont need others?

or are not programmed

to relate with others....

Maybe its more difficult, or comes less naturally

The aspie tendency to prattle on and on is a obvious attempt to relate, its just we are really bad at it

all good points, very well stated.


Holy sh**! I actually agree with you on something! :P

:lol: don't worry, it'll pass like a flu.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


TeaEarlGreyHot
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 28,982
Location: California

15 Dec 2011, 12:25 am

When meaning is lost
Look elsewhere
There's lots to see
Lots to do

Wasting time
On hollow endaevours
Only depresses
distresses
Muddles the mind
Confuses the issue
Allows greener pastures
To pass you by

Focus on things that please
Things that fulfill
Needs unexpressed
Will bring
Only heartache

So lift that chin
Get off your butt
Walk out that door
And explore


_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.


MR20
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 945

15 Dec 2011, 3:56 am

RawSugar wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
I don't see the need for the "Love and dating forum". If you can't get a girl-/boyfriend, it's all about genetics, not social skills. We are not genetically programmed to have friends, to date, have sex or to have children. We are all genetically programmed to be loners without any need for social contact with other people and therefore most of us lack the need for friendship and lack any feeling of lonelyness.
The majority of the posts I see here are from desperate men who are unable to live up to "being normal". If you are tormented by your sex drive, either stick to porn or get chemically castrated! Quit bothering people with the fact that you can't get laid. Yes, I know I've been the same way, but I've accepted that I'm unable to get anyone into bed.


This is awesome because you just described what I strongly suspect to be yourself.

Also, almost every human being, or mammal for that manner, is genetically programmed to have sex and reproduce. I used to study biology. They teach us these things. It's called instinct. I have Asperger's, I am also human. I have animal instincts. I am not like a unicellular organism that will reproduce via meiosis.

Lastly, I find your attitude to be highly negative. Have you considered that people, or in particular, women do not feel inspired to socialize with you because of your negative attitude? This is based off of observation. I for one, found your post to be highly unpleasant and if I was to judge you solely based on it I know that I would not wish to socialize with you. There are some men out there that pique my interest because they seem like genuinely interesting people. I am somewhat anti-social, but I do absolutely love to delve into a conversation about something that I am interested in. Sure, it may seem one sided, but some people like that.


This stuff gets on my nerves. He's been rejected and turned down by women his entire life, how the hell is he supposed to keep a positive attitude. He's most likely lonely, bitter, depressed and frustrated, it's hard NOT to be negative when you feel that way.

He's come to terms with the fact that he'll never find a mate because of how pathetic and inferior of a human being he is. (no disrespect, I'm comparing to normal "NT" people or high functioning autistics/AS)

Even if he had a "positive attitude" he wouldn't be able to get a date because of un-attractiveness and low functioning. No decent-looking women would ever go out with someone like him. (or me)

It's not women fault, it's just the fact that we were born inferior/inadequate and have to live with the loneliness/disappointments. It's unfair but it's reality. I mean who could blame you if you have a negative outlook on the world.



Wolfheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,971
Location: Kent, England

15 Dec 2011, 4:29 am

MR20 wrote:
It's not women fault, it's just the fact that we were born inferior/inadequate and have to live with the loneliness/disappointments. It's unfair but it's reality. I mean who could blame you if you have a negative outlook on the world.


You would really benefit from taking an independent living skills course.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElPsqGlBGlc&feature=related[/youtube]



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,907
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

15 Dec 2011, 11:43 am

Jeffrey228 wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
I don't see the need for the "Love and dating forum". If you can't get a girl-/boyfriend, it's all about genetics, not social skills. We are not genetically programmed to have friends, to date, have sex or to have children. We are all genetically programmed to be loners without any need for social contact with other people and therefore most of us lack the need for friendship and lack any feeling of lonelyness.

The majority of the posts I see here are from desperate men who are unable to live up to "being normal". If you are tormented by your sex drive, either stick to porn or get chemically castrated! Quit bothering people with the fact that you can't get laid. Yes, I know I've been the same way, but I've accepted that I'm unable to get anyone into bed.


The thing is, that because more females have been going for things that really discourage Autism Spectrum Disorders and more Nuro Typical people, those who are criminals, Street Gangs, Druggies, Heavy Smokers, Heavy Drinkers, and wear clothing that is obscene(such as baddy or saggy clothing).


Well I don't think having AS makes one immune to any of that, especially when it comes to drugs.......many people self medicate to get rid of unpleasent physical/psychological symptoms(for instance comorbid disorders like depression and anxiety I am sure many of you here have experianced) and sometimes people take that too far or get addicted.......We're not all a bunch of obedient, rule obsessed rigid individuals nessisarly. Basically if you've met one person on the autism spectrum, you've met one person on the autism spectrum it does no good to assume we all behave the same way.


_________________
We won't go back.


RawSugar
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 1 Aug 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 168
Location: Alberta, Canada

15 Dec 2011, 12:33 pm

MR20 wrote:
RawSugar wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
I don't see the need for the "Love and dating forum". If you can't get a girl-/boyfriend, it's all about genetics, not social skills. We are not genetically programmed to have friends, to date, have sex or to have children. We are all genetically programmed to be loners without any need for social contact with other people and therefore most of us lack the need for friendship and lack any feeling of lonelyness.
The majority of the posts I see here are from desperate men who are unable to live up to "being normal". If you are tormented by your sex drive, either stick to porn or get chemically castrated! Quit bothering people with the fact that you can't get laid. Yes, I know I've been the same way, but I've accepted that I'm unable to get anyone into bed.


This is awesome because you just described what I strongly suspect to be yourself.

Also, almost every human being, or mammal for that manner, is genetically programmed to have sex and reproduce. I used to study biology. They teach us these things. It's called instinct. I have Asperger's, I am also human. I have animal instincts. I am not like a unicellular organism that will reproduce via meiosis.

Lastly, I find your attitude to be highly negative. Have you considered that people, or in particular, women do not feel inspired to socialize with you because of your negative attitude? This is based off of observation. I for one, found your post to be highly unpleasant and if I was to judge you solely based on it I know that I would not wish to socialize with you. There are some men out there that pique my interest because they seem like genuinely interesting people. I am somewhat anti-social, but I do absolutely love to delve into a conversation about something that I am interested in. Sure, it may seem one sided, but some people like that.


This stuff gets on my nerves. He's been rejected and turned down by women his entire life, how the hell is he supposed to keep a positive attitude. He's most likely lonely, bitter, depressed and frustrated, it's hard NOT to be negative when you feel that way.

He's come to terms with the fact that he'll never find a mate because of how pathetic and inferior of a human being he is. (no disrespect, I'm comparing to normal "NT" people or high functioning autistics/AS)

Even if he had a "positive attitude" he wouldn't be able to get a date because of un-attractiveness and low functioning. No decent-looking women would ever go out with someone like him. (or me)

It's not women fault, it's just the fact that we were born inferior/inadequate and have to live with the loneliness/disappointments. It's unfair but it's reality. I mean who could blame you if you have a negative outlook on the world.

Okay, he's been rejected. Does that give him license to make the rest of us feel like sh*t about ourselves? No, not really.
I'm assuming that his avatar is a picture of him. Given that, he's not a bad looking of a dude. A lot of women would find him attractive. I'm thinking what repels them must be the way that he acts. Given that, there are a lot of courses on independent living and socialization that he could maybe indulge in. I used to be so introverted that I was somewhat of a hermit. I went to school, came home, and sat in my room doing nothing. Then I got over it. I've spent a lot of time and effort learning how to "kind of socialize". I've spent hours with my psychologists (one of which is a specialist in AS) having them teach me how to get along with people. Then I go home and go through scenarios with my roommates and family so I can understand why people react the way they do to me. I took drama classes, those helped me immensely. So much, in fact, that I actually went on to pursue a BA in Dramatic Arts (I specialized in design but still took a lot of acting classes throughout my degree).
A lot of people in my life still know that something is "off" about me, but they get over it because I have a lot to teach them. Sometimes people don't like me. Know what? too effin' bad.
and we were NOT born inadequate or inferior. The fact that you would even SUGGEST this sends me into a rage. It's been proven that using words like that to psychologically barricade yourself away from others will lead to problems like depression and anxiety. I used to be like that. It took me a lot of work, and a lot of convincing, but lately I have been waking up feeling like maybe I have something to offer to the world. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I'm sure that it's there. And because of that I'm okay with the fact that I'm single and not getting laid, because there are other things that I can use to occupy my time that I couldn't do if I was tied down. I'm going to Maui for a month in January, and thats going to be awesome. I'm working on finishing both my degrees, as well as training to be an EMT-Paramedic. I've started my own business with the jewellery that I make in my spare time. I've taught myself how to fluently speak Spanish and now I'm working on French. So I'm a bit different and I'm not really all that great socially, I let people come to me, and they do because I make myself out to be an interesting person. Being alone isn't that bad. It doesn't mean that you're inadequate/inferior/pathetic/unattractive/low functioning/whatever. But thinking that you are and constantly talking about how you are will turn people off from wanting to talk to you (and this doesn't just apply to people on the spectrum. Throughout my life I've known a number of people who have held this attitude, and not surprisingly, they don't have many friends and are not dating or getting laid)