dating sites

Post Reply New Topic

has anyone ever joined a dating site im thinking of doing so but i scared to i mean im 22 and never even been on a date plus i worried something might happen to me what if i run into a predator on a site. i dont really have a freind i would trust to come with me to meet someone to meet in groups plus im not even sure of my orientation. im pretty sure im not gay but i might be bi i really dont know ive never had any expeience with any gender at all plus im wary of neurotypicals i guess my best bet is if there is any aspie dating site but the problem is people live so far away on aspie affection are there any other aspie dating sites? or even a dating site not exclusivly aspie but a neuro diverse one with people with autistic-like conditions like add ect. does anyone have any experience with dating sites can i get advice?

I would say OkCupid is your best bet for that type of dating site. A lot of people who use Xanga (which has a huge autistic population) use OkCupid.

If I was you, I would go to aspie social groups in your local area and get to know the guys there.

I found dating sites had a lot of pressure to meet up quickly and just a lot of pressure in general. I found it hard to know if I would get on with someone online as people can be very different online to how they turn out in person.

In an aspie social group you can get to know people without any pressure to date them and see if you are compatable with them. Most towns have aspie groups now so I hope yours does.

I agree with The-Raven. However, I would be careful what groups you decide to hook up with. You want a group that's going to help you, so I would avoid any group full of negative people like the plague.

I've tried many of them, and I'm a forum moderator on one of the larger free sites.

My experience with dating sites, insofar as finding someone to actually date, has been abominable. I've met 9 girls -- first one was an arsonist, next one was a phony bank teller, then there was the newspaper columnist who wanted me to write her column for her (no pay, no byline, no nothing!), then a phony kidnap victim....it gets worse from there.

More to the point, though, the larger the site, the more Yahoo scammers you get. I may get 50 scammer e-mails a day on the site where I'm a moderator.

Also, the larger the site, the more mainstream the clientele becomes. Because I'm not interested in anyone with kids, or anyone who drinks, it's impossible to find anyone remotely compatible on any of the larger sites I've tried.

On the smaller, alternative-type sites, there may be people more to my liking but they are always 897,000 miles away.

My bottom line is that I am not going to find a girlfriend on a dating site, unless a miracle happens. I like a few of the sites for friends, social interaction, to get feedback on my writing and such. But it's useless for me to look for relationships there.

Ravenclawgurl, for what it is worth, here is an old post:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3995158 ... t=#3995158 .

If you decide to use OkCupid, here a few suggestions based on my own experiences (so far).
First, I recommend you read the help topics < http://www.okcupid.com/help/topics > on "Matching" and "Using OkCupid" (especially "Privacy Controls").
Second, do not add a picture right away. Your profile will not show up in the automated searches until you add a picture, and not having a picture will also make you less desirable. This is a good thing initially, because it will give you time to set up your profile and get used to the site.
Third, since you are a woman, I recommend that you make use of the message and IM filter options (located under Settings, Profile options), otherwise you will get bombarded with messages from men whom you have little in common with. (I'm male and I haven't posted a picture yet, but I have received a couple of messages from women with Match scores down around 50%. WTF?)
Forth, there are many questions to go through. Buried in them are a few which seem to address aspie-type things. Unfortunately, to get to those questions you will have to wade through numerous other questions, many about your sexual experiences and desires. Feel free to just skip over those --you can always answer them later-- and/or mark them private (unless you are just looking for casual sex). Also, try giving high importance ratings to key questions to try to screen out certain people. Unfortunately, people can evade such tactics by either skipping questions or by changing their answers to match yours.

(Yeah, I am not sure I am suited for dating and interpersonal relationships. )

I've never used a dating website and I never plan to, I've heard they don't tend to have a very good success rate in terms of quality. You might be better off approaching people in your area and creating your own chances and opportunities, this will push you out of your comfort zone and help you to initiate and get dates. I'd say go for it if you think it will increase your chances of finding the right person and getting a date though. The more opportunities you create and the more people you meet, the more chance you'll have of meeting the right person.

OkCupid is a great solution to this. I like sometimes to just chat there.