What exactly do you talk about with girls?

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1000Knives
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24 Dec 2011, 5:20 am

So I have a question. If I'm just striking up conversation, I'm generally pretty good with older people and other guys. Like, if I'm reading a magazine, or some other person is reading a magazine, especially a car magazine, it's easy to talk about it. Cars, for example, are a special interest of mine, so if someone's reading a car magazine, they're looking for knowledge, and I can exchange my car knowledge with them for a good conversation. With women it's a brick wall, though. Like I never see women doing much stuff I do or have knowledge about, besides the few I talk to briefly when I ice skate, so I can't just be like "sup random girl, what do you think is better, the Nissan GTR or the Corvette ZR1?" Like, guys for whatever reason I can start a conversation more or less like that, ramble about my special interests, wow them with my knowledge or whatever, and I'll either teach them something new, or I'll learn something from them and they'll ramble on about their cars or whatever and everything will be dandy. But, women, doesn't seem to work like that.

So yeah, besides the various emotional hurdles with girls, you know, if she thinks I'm being pushy or weird or she has a boyfriend, I got no idea how like, how to strike up a conversation with girls. Guys, I usually know enough about stuff that I can strike up a conversation based upon exchanging facts or knowledge, but women it's just a brick wall 99% of the time when I do that. It's very hard to start conversations with women about like...the disadvantages of Fram oil filters.

So what do I talk with women about? I mean there's other issues aside from emotional stuff and like, sexual whatever, but like, I'm having trouble getting past the "figuring out how to strike up conversation" phase. Like seriously, what are acceptable topics of conversation for women?



fraac
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24 Dec 2011, 5:27 am

It really doesn't matter. I talk about as personal stuff as I can get away with, to test the boundaries.

Mostly girls will want nothing to do with you, but the best ones will, so 'be yourself'. Smile, make eye contact (those at the same time in brief flashes are GREAT), let her show you who she is. Girls are like people: they show you exactly how they want you to treat them.



Koanic
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24 Dec 2011, 5:53 am

From your perspective, a whole lot of nothing, if the conversation is going well.

Best to get her talking about her stuff, and then play with it amusedly. It will be amusing.

NT girls are fundamentally relational, domestic, social beings who enjoy dabbling and emotional solipsism.

Just roll with it. It's warm when you're in.



NcNbl
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24 Dec 2011, 6:06 am

well, i think women but also men, actually everybody, at starting to talk to each other, likes to talk about each other. i mean, the girl would like to talk about herself and make the introduction she wants for you to get about her and then yourself to her, then a bit of complimenting and appreciation of who u are talking to and what they are saying, if u do appreciate.. then you talk or focus on what you have the same or similarly enjoy and appreciate from those thing u have narrowed down the topics which is left and they are those of what are possibly interesting to the both of you.. :)

i hope that could help a bit..
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Kenjuudo
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24 Dec 2011, 7:15 am

You're going to hate this, but: -"Just be yourself!" :huh:

Just in case you've no idea how to be yourself, be aware about your presence and manners when you're with your friends. LikeBe exactly like that toward girls! Don't show more interest than providing banal - but sincere - attention! Mean it! Acting equals miserable failure - every time. Trust me, I know! :roll:


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Wallourdes
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24 Dec 2011, 8:24 am

My experience is that talking about (core) motivations and (emotional/sensory) impressions as icebreaker, starting from topics external, things like the weather and the latest headline news, to both of you while gradually going to internal topics, like in she has lost weight or has a new hair colour, helps in building rapport. Finally you can look what she is interested in and she can see what you are interested in.

Just don't get to close to fast like you do with guys, approach slower. Over time you have more to talk about.


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fraac
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24 Dec 2011, 8:46 am

The coolest girls will make it effortless for you to talk to them, because they want to learn about people. Then you just have to be smarter, funnier and more in control than anyone else they know. Then you marry them. I always forget that third part.



Djimbe
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24 Dec 2011, 10:58 am

Interview them. Like you're Connan O'Brien. Or Letterman. Seriously, theyre both greatr examples. so is Howard stern. Three ugly dudes who get women flirting with them all day every day. Because NT women love to talk about themselves. Its their conditioning. At least in America. So practice following questions with other questions. Play a game where you see how long you can go without making a statement. Even answer questions with another question.


Try it. Seriously. And watch the three guys I mentioned and see if they arent getting play. Even if theyre not takign the women up on it.


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Tequila
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24 Dec 2011, 11:10 am

Try to talk about them and not be so self-centred. It's difficult in Aspie terms but it can be worked on.



CockneyRebel
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24 Dec 2011, 11:13 am

I have no idea. I'm not a typical female. I'm much more masculine than I am feminine.


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Tequila
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24 Dec 2011, 11:14 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I have no idea. I'm not a typical female. I'm much more masculine than I am feminine.


Note that this isn't meant in a general sense either, but more specifically in a, erm, 'charged' atmosphere.



Asp-Z
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24 Dec 2011, 11:18 am

The question you should really be asking is, "What interests does the girl I'm talking to have?" Find out early in the conversation and talk about those. It's especially good if you share some, of course.



nick007
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24 Dec 2011, 11:24 am

I'm NOT good at staring conversations with women or anyone really if I don't know them well but I tend to talk to women about personal issues & things in their lives; I'm the guy women turn to for emotional support but they only want me as a friend :cry: I also talk about common interest with em if we have some


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seoulgamer
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24 Dec 2011, 11:40 am

Depends a lot on context. If in a bar, talk about the music or something. If in a school/college...introduce yourself, ask about what they study, how they find life in that institution, etc.

It doesn't matter a whole lot what you say so much as how you're saying it. If they're enjoying themselves around you, then you're onto a winner either way.


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WhiteWidow
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24 Dec 2011, 1:14 pm

How many people here just gave advice and don't have a girlfriend lol

Ok how does this sound?

"Hi!"
"Hey!"
"What are up up to today?"



OliveOilMom
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24 Dec 2011, 1:22 pm

I'm a girl and I'll happily talk about cars all night long. I was a gearhead back in the day.

Guns are also a good topic, as are favorite movies. My two favs are Pulp Fiction and Fight Club.

Music can be good too, depending on what you like.

Oddly enough, religion and politics are fun to talk about.

I also enjoy talking about the bubonic plague.

Also any kind of TEOTWAWKI conspiracy theory/survivalist topics.

My suggestions probably won't help you though. My friends just like for guys to compliment them then sit and listen to them talk. Ask questions about them. Act interested.


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