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Question about what men prefer

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Asp-Z
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14 Jan 2012, 12:08 pm

mv wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
The tragic thing is, even guys who are attracted to it will make fun of it. I remember once my male group of friends were on about how this girl is obviously making herself seem stupid on purpose, and, though they still found her attractive, they made her a figure of ridicule.

I didn't join in with that, but I still didn't talk to the girl in question because I cannot stand that sort of behaviour.


But, see, she did that to get attention, and it worked. There were some genuinely attracted to her, and even the ones who made fun of her were still talking about her (more attention, though negative). This is why I feel sorry for those "dumb down" people, they've taken a very negative, lazy way to interaction. And it reflects badly on the rest of us.


A very good point, but then, if they keep doing that, the attention seeking itself is usually picked up on too, and at that point it ceases to work.



mv
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14 Jan 2012, 12:12 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
mv wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
The tragic thing is, even guys who are attracted to it will make fun of it. I remember once my male group of friends were on about how this girl is obviously making herself seem stupid on purpose, and, though they still found her attractive, they made her a figure of ridicule.

I didn't join in with that, but I still didn't talk to the girl in question because I cannot stand that sort of behaviour.


But, see, she did that to get attention, and it worked. There were some genuinely attracted to her, and even the ones who made fun of her were still talking about her (more attention, though negative). This is why I feel sorry for those "dumb down" people, they've taken a very negative, lazy way to interaction. And it reflects badly on the rest of us.


A very good point, but then, if they keep doing that, the attention seeking itself is usually picked up on too, and at that point it ceases to work.


Oh, absolutely. Agree 100%. Which, to me, is why it's a "I feel sorry for you" situation. They move on to fresher pastures, continuing to seek out new avenues for attention, instead of working on making themselves genuinely interesting (or recognizing and loving what's already within them). I think it's sad whenever any human being is so dysfunctional as to limit their own potential. (I've been there myself, believe me, so I'm not trying to say I'm holier-than-thou. Hope it doesn't come across that way.)



nick007
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14 Jan 2012, 12:27 pm

mv wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
mv wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
The tragic thing is, even guys who are attracted to it will make fun of it. I remember once my male group of friends were on about how this girl is obviously making herself seem stupid on purpose, and, though they still found her attractive, they made her a figure of ridicule.

I didn't join in with that, but I still didn't talk to the girl in question because I cannot stand that sort of behaviour.


But, see, she did that to get attention, and it worked. There were some genuinely attracted to her, and even the ones who made fun of her were still talking about her (more attention, though negative). This is why I feel sorry for those "dumb down" people, they've taken a very negative, lazy way to interaction. And it reflects badly on the rest of us.


A very good point, but then, if they keep doing that, the attention seeking itself is usually picked up on too, and at that point it ceases to work.


Oh, absolutely. Agree 100%. Which, to me, is why it's a "I feel sorry for you" situation. They move on to fresher pastures, continuing to seek out new avenues for attention, instead of working on making themselves genuinely interesting (or recognizing and loving what's already within them). I think it's sad whenever any human being is so dysfunctional as to limit their own potential. (I've been there myself, believe me, so I'm not trying to say I'm holier-than-thou. Hope it doesn't come across that way.)

Dumbing down is a technique that works quite well for some very successful comedians


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Berns
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15 Jan 2012, 2:30 am

With my high school years behind me, I'm much more attracted to women with an intellectual personality than the fun-and-dumb stereotype (which, as Tequila mentioned, is one that misogynists love).



munch15a
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18 Jan 2012, 10:53 pm

Yeah I sometimes think many guys are like this that said I like smart girls if would not be ashamed to be with a smarter girl (might feel a bit threatened ) but would also be impressed I want a girl who I can connect with I am off the academic environment I read essays on political theory for fun and while I do not really expect to find a girl who is the same and so a girl not having that quality would not be a no deal i really would like someone who could.



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18 Jan 2012, 11:20 pm

Men are attractive to different things about a person. One might like beautiful eyes, the others like personlllty etc. Every man is different.



abacacus
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18 Jan 2012, 11:29 pm

bumble wrote:
Do men prefer a very dim woman who just puts out?

Should I hid the fact that I am academically bright in order to find a partner for sex and going out on dates?

It just seems to me that the thicker you are more successful you are romantically so should I play dumb?

Also how do I dumb it down convincingly?


Not at all. Obtuse women infuriate me (and most guys that I know, other than players who just want quick sex).

I mean, I don't expect to end with some super-genius, but it's nice to be able to carry on a decent conversation with someone who isn't some eyes-glazed-over nitwit.


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18 Jan 2012, 11:36 pm

Don't play dumb, but don't be a know it all.

We have to tell that out our Aspie son.

Also evaluated your standards. My son has very high standards. They can be unreasonable.

If you are attracted to a car repairmen you might have to look for topics that you both are interested in. One of our doctors is married to a car repairmen. She was told she married an idiot and someone below her. His income paid for a lot of her schooling because at the time she became a doctor a car repairman didn't require that much education. They have an agreement not to talk about their specialties because they bore each other. They do a lot of hiking, parenting, woodworking, gaming, gardening, their horses, et. She is book smart but she will admit she isn't smarter than him just differently smart. Her skills/intelligence is more respected.

You also need to understand that men are not making it through college. So if you don't adapt your standards and find likes that are irrelevant to intelligence you will be very lonely. There are many NT women that need to learn this.