Stalkers

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I see my attempt at humour went down as well as a big, long, wet, smelly fart in a crowded lift.

I'd better not even get started on this topic, so I'll just settle for saying "yes".

:-\

bit weird.

Can't say anyone's ever really had a reason to stalk me.

That said, I've been accused of it by one particular person, and since then I've had to deal with that issue even if to others it would seem silly to worry about. I don't know about anyone else, but to me the definition would generally be a predator following its prey, regardless of intent. For the time that I knew this person at least, I almost never left the house to do anything or be around anyone, let alone go and see whatever she might have been up to. Most talking we did was over the internet and she'd normally be the one to initiate discussion and otherwise be calling to complain if I wasn't on to talk to. I guess what must have repulsed her was that I had a crush on her and was just too afraid to say in fear of how she would react.

As a result, I've been left to wonder for years what exactly separates a relatively "normal" person from some of the creeps you'd see on TV shows, or whether there was any real differences I had at all. Probably overly dramatic, but it only added to how depressed I'd felt at the time, and I'd thought about if suicide would have been worth it if there was really something wrong with me. If anything, I think the term is thrown around far too much and, while there are certainly dangerous people out there, there's also a lot of room for misinterpretation.

Until about 13-14 years ago I always had a stalker. I haven't had one on the internet, as far as I know, unless you count the ex-husband ~ and I think he has lost interest in my boring life several years back.

Anyway I always had at least one, that I knew about, from the age of about 16 to 40ish. The most recent guy died, but I had already gotten him to stop making himself known to me, at least, by having the local police visit him and tell him to leave me alone.

Having had some time to think it over, I think what made me a stalker magnet must have been that I was giving these guys inappropriate signals somewhere along the line, perhaps when we first met. I'm not saying they weren't to blame because obviously they were responsible & to blame, from the time I told them their attentions were not welcome and they chose to disregard what I said.

But honestly it happened so many times, over so many years, that I had to eventually notice what all those situations had in common ~ that I was involved ~ and obviously I wasn't doing it on purpose and obviously (I think?) the stalkers had social issues of their own ~ but I must have done something to make them think ~ whatever it is one thinks in that situation ~

Don't get me wrong, I also have been a stalker, to a lesser degree than my last one (the scariest) ~ but still, looking back ~ and I had NO idea this is what I was doing ~ but yeah. Pretty sure I've done it. Not my whole life, but a couple people here & there.

I just figured that out recently, though, so I can't say yet what motivated me to behave that way, with those few certain guys. One of them in particular, I was dead sure he was the person for me; he isn't but I thought so for much, much too long. And might still to this day, if we hadn't re-united some time back, for about a year ~ a year was all I could handle, and I went into it feeling ready & to be very accommodating in the relationship, too. Which I was, but that didn't work well for me. Not sure why I always thought, all those years, that it would.

A co-worker followed me home once. It was a 30+ minute drive out into the country so I knew there was no doubt I was being followed. I had to make a wrong turn just before I got home so he wouldn't see exactly where I lived.

Another time a guy I worked with, was not happy with his wife and wanted to have an affair with me. I turned him down, and he kicked dents all over my car to get back at me.

why do some people get multiple stalkers whereas some people never have a stalker?

To me a stalker has some kind of mental problem, and it can't be explained by genetics alone. There really is no justification for it. It is basically a lack of concern for the other party's privacy and wishes which to me negates any justification for stalking bc if you really LOVED someone, you would love them enough NOT to stalk them. So the fact that it induces people to go to such extremes in their minds "for another" while essentially NOT being based on love or the WISHES of the other is the most troubling aspect of it.

and by mental problem I mean extremely selfish at the expense of others to the degree of being a disorder which I guess would be sociopathy

It's not sociopathy that drives the majority of stalkers. It's generally delusions. They believe they're in some sort of relationship or some other fantasy.

I don't think that's true. Because I know many people who WERE in REAL relationships with the people they've stalked, be it their wife/husband/best friend/potential date, etc. And while some people stalk people they've never known it is rare. It is sociopathy bc they lie and invade a person's privacy without trust or care or even request of that person to get inner information about that person that that person would never expose to them in an attempt to get more contro many times. These are most definitely sociopaths. I'm sorry but it's true.