Terrified of intimacy

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I am, and I cannot articulate why. Maybe I don't want to make myself vulnerable. It always felt as bad as it felt good, if that makes sense. Any body can relate and articulate why?

i can only surmise that maybe there is something in your backpages that you're not consciously aware of. dumb question, but have you seen a therapist about it?

Intimacy is impossible for me at the mOment. Previous attempts have all been so emotionally and physically Overwhelming. I just can't handle the intensity of all the sensations and emotions I either shut down and switch off or get way in Over my head and can't stop. Anyway no advice here just can relate terrifying is a good description.

I can very much relate and I'm not sure why I am this way. I've spent a lot of years wondering if I was repressing some traumatic event and I have been in therapy off and on for years with no major insights on the matter. Lately, I've been thinking it's simply a matter of a fear that I will lose the precious solitude I need to function.

Perhaps it's the common Aspie theme of getting overwhelmed when you are close to people. Lots of Aspies shutdown & become withdrawn after they are in romantic relationships a while. I don't have anything helpful to suggest thou; I'm the opposite & have an extremly high desire to be close to my partner

It's very intense, also it's uncontrollable.

I think I can articulate it. I tend to have a fear both of being ripped apart for not conforming to expectations but also, I have a fear of just how strange and uncomfortable (almost embarassing) it would be to be accepted exactly for who I am when its never happened on any level aside from close friends and my parents. I think for the later its not even this acceptance in and of itself but how most women go about it; it almost feels like those emotions being transmitted in a rationed/non ego-melting manner is asking something of a partner that I simply can't, it'd be like a guy asking her to love skateboards, football, and deathmetal.

Captain: my best guess is that you just don't feel neurologically equipped and like you're expected to dance like a professional even though you've neve danced in your life (purely mean that in analogy).


Being ultra-sensitive (or at least for most of my life, coping skills may have overcome a lot) my biggest fear was having my psychological sense of self washed away - which would wash away my cool, wash away my NT act, wash away everything that I knew I needed to even be accepted by the world around me. The emotions don't feel quite as "I need a shower....now" invasive as they used to but, even with that in mind its still a thing where my restraint clamps it and stops it in the works.

i apologise in advance for sounding patronising, but i dunno how else to say this.... i feel proud to see you men (along with 2 females i think) talking about intimacy like this. it shows that (at least here) you're not afraid to open yourselves up a bit. it takes strength to expose that side of yourselves, and i hope that you'll find what you need inside yourselves to translate that into real life situations too.

Have you had intimacy? I was in the same bboat, and made threads about it in the past. I wanted to be intimate but was very vulnerable with it to the point of disgust. It took until I had someone who i trust ask me if I wanted to be intimate that I was able to say yes. Now I dont have the same disgust as i had before

I've had issues in the past. Hard to articulate but I'll try..
I fear losing "ME" like I'll get lost.
Fear of rejection of course, is also there. Just for fun..

Sincerely,
Matthew

The way I got over sensitivity was forcing myself to become exposed to lots of people...and some who touch a lot. Or in weird ways/places.

There was anxiety and bad things did happen, but I'm happy that they happened with people I'd rather not know very well rather than the ones I do want to be with. Well, mostly.

same. if i could i would cuddle for hours every day lol.

For me, I don't think it's so much I'm terrified of intimacy, but more that I'm terrified of the way I'm expected to show it in interactions. Not sure why this is, though :/

who is that, Tequila?

I actually have the exact opposite problem: I am terrified of rejection, despite the fact that I have gotten rejected repeatedly, and should be used to it by now...haha

My problem seems to be that those around me, who do not have Asperger's, are afraid of intimacy. Hell, even my family members don't like being close to each other. It seems like I was born in the wrong family, in the wrong environment...I need closeness, intimacy, and personal connections, and everyone around me doesn't want those. People also tend to act afraid or terrified whenever I express true interest and feelings for them, and I try to do it in completely socially acceptable ways. Never been able to figure that out.