how do you come too terms with this?

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i read up that at least 80 percent of individuals with aspergers syndrome NEVER have long term relationships.

how does one come too terms with something as grim as that?


i can imagine its not hard too deal with for aspies who don't care for relationships but for the one's that do it just makes you want too give up all hope in life

Last edited by Jamesy on 04 Mar 2012, 3:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

by assuming it's a made up statistic because you didn't give a source...

here's the source

http://tiny.cc/tvdpd

"It is hard to get exact figures, but from what I can glean at least 80% of Aspergers persons never get married or have a long-term relationship."

This is not a source.

I am the only one I know "in real life" that has Asperger's and I got married as an 18 year old so from "what I can glean" 80 % of "Asperger's persons" get married much earlier.... - No but seriously, bad source! There are plenty of people who finds somebody to be with and I am one of them. And there are several NTs who never find "the one " so do not blame all cases on the disorder.

It's all to do with finding someone who's similar to you and you share things like passions with. I don't think it has anything to do with the person who you are. Two people who have aspeger's and who share similar passions could easily end up together.

That speculation is an exaggeration.

This person seems to be speculating on almost everything he puts on the website. I wouldn't trust any statistics from him, although he may give you some things to think about.

government data, academic university research, and sometimes non-profit organizations are sources.

blogs are not sources

Don't let it poison your mind, if you believe that statistic then you will subconsciously self sabotage.
Banish it from your mind before it takes root.

It scares me as well. It's difficult to try and find aspies in real life to get to know, so I've personally tried to surround myself with a nerdier group. I did it with the assumption that, the nerdier the person, the more aspie traits they'll have. I've tried to sway my odds a bit. I understand how you feel though. I'm currently enduring a little heartbreak myself.

I heard that statistic before & it doesn't surprise me if it is based on research. However the more functional Aspies are more likely to have long-term relationships & they are less likely to get diagnosed or see psychs for things which could skew the statistics sense psychs & autism experts won't know about them. Also keep in mind that a higher percentage of Aspies don't want relationships than the general population. It does bother me that lots of Aspies have problems getting & maintaining relationships but I try not to dwell on that. I used to a lot & it made me/kept me more depressed. I don't dwell on the odds/statistics now & instead try to focus more on finding someone & doing things to improve my odds like learning about what issues/problems I could face & finding ways to better deal with them. Also offering advice to other members who are having problems sometimes helps me feel a little better especially when it involves something from my limited relationship experience; helping others learn from my mistakes makes me feel like some good can come out of it & maybe I can learn to.

yes. there are no credible statistics about this as yet, so any time someone quotes some number or another i know it's not to be trusted.

oh, but also... i do think it's a good idea for every human to come to terms with the fact we may die alone. not one of us is guaranteed a relationship, and even people who do marry may end up divorcing. it's a bit of a crap shoot.

Meh, if that statistic is true, then there is a 20% chance that I'll be in a long term relationship. And you know, it isn't like a die was thrown the moment I was born, which determined whether I'd be in a relationship or not, that outcome will depend on the decisions I take and the way I decide to live my life, giving me some control in it.

Besides, from what I've gathered there is some people who just don't care about relationships, and they would be included in that statistic. Which again, may or may not be true.

Last edited by Shatbat on 05 Mar 2012, 11:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'll take those odds.

One might ask oneself: "Why are you going to let one statistic run your life?"