Problem with the guys...

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It seems like I always run into problems with the opposite sex... I have never had a boyfriend for more than 10-11 months... And with my Aspie-brain the number of guys I've dated is painfully big... I've had 12 relationships over the past 8 years...

My problem is this... Almost all of them has broken up with me... The reason? The classic friend zone... They lose their feelings for me for one reason or the other and I can't ever seem to get an answer to why...

In the first few months everything is great... But as soon as the "pink fluff" is gone and we're trying to have a serious relationship and a daily agenda together (I've never lived with a bf either) it just slowly falls apart... I don't think I take him away from his friends... He has every right to say that he doesn't got time to see me because he has to see his friends... I only rarely complain about not getting some time in a few weekends with him... I do stuff without him too... I have considered that I'm to fast and keeping the relationship in the fast lane but seeing both my parents (divorced) and my sister with their significant other I can't see what I'm doing differently then they did...? My Dad and his wife moved in together after three months... My Mom confessed her love after a few weeks with her boyfriend... My sister moved in with her fiancée after 6 months... I don't get it... What am I doing wrong? Is there something wrong with me? I really feel like I've tried everything... Online dating, meeting someone at a party, blind date, dating a friend from school, getting set up by a friend... What I'm missing is dating a co-worker but seeing that I'm unemployed...

I don't know what I'm doing wrong... I've been with both NT's and diagnosed guys before and they react the same way...

Am I just unlucky with the opposite sex or am I just the perfect friend but not girlfriend? Or are guys just in general afraid of commitment?

I don't know, from the relationships I've seen, 10-12 months isn't that abnormal, and you've had 12 relationships, too. That's pretty good, really. You're not gonna get a lot of sympathy from the guys (or girls for that matter) here who've a lot of times never ever had a relationship, so yeah. I'm included in that group, too.

I'm guessing though, from what you described...I don't know, people are all just crazy. People ideally, what they say, they'd want a girl like you, who lets them hang out with their friends, who isn't too clingy, etc, but then secretly they probably desire some clingy insane person.

I wish I had more to say, but I'm an idiot in this field really, but that's all I can assess out of it.

I don't want sympathy from anyone... I really want to know what goes on in the guys' heads since I tend to scare them off after just a few months... I am the only one in my group of friends who's never celebrated one year with their bf/gf... So in my mind it's a big deal... I'm not saying I'm looking for the one and only... Somehow I can't believe that... I just want to know what I can do better to keep the guy's feelings for me intact...

I have this problem with girls but I guess guys tend to loose interests fast bute then again I think to much like a girl I really dont know how to answer your question but ending up in the freind zone does suck but I am the kind of guy that stays with the girl I am dating and try to make things work for the better.

It's nice to see that there are some guys out there who'll fight for a relationship...

I fight for a relationship once im in one but latley im just so darn picky

Haha I know that feeling... But once in a relationship I sometimes feel that I'm the only one fighting... In my latest relationship I remember I didn't contact him for over a week - no texts, no calls, no chat, no comments on his fb-statuses... Plus we live in the same city so it's not that hard to see each other... After that week I showed up at his door and asked if he was missing something... Fortunately he said yes and we talked about it... About three weeks later - boom! I'm single... I was confused... And still am... Because of course, now he doesn't wanna talk about all that... We're still friends but I can't get an answer to my questions because he doesn't see the point in talking about it... In his mind it really is what's done is done... But I just think that if we could talk about it maybe I could learn something that I could take with me to the next relationship...

Guys confuse me...

IKR they even confuse me some times but men tend to loose interests fast and yes I am that way in a relationship I am the only one trying to make it work.

Honestly, I don't understand some guys, and I'm a guy myself. I've had to friends who were girls (not girlfriends) be dumped by their boyfriends because they don't want to have only dated one girl. Which is weird because both were awesome ladies. So, I dunno. My only real guess would be it has something to do with sex or lack of it, but I don't know.

I doubt it has something to do with that... With a bf I only say no if I'm too tired to keep my eyes open... Besides... In my longest relationship we didn't have sex for three months and that was because he kept saying no... And that wasn't what ended it - it was again lack of feelings from his side... Two months before we moved in together... :/
If it's because I'm not good enough in bed I doubt they wouldn't tell me... But I don't know either... As I wrote in the first post, I don't know what happens... Their feelings just suddenly disappear... Or so they say...

Hmm. Well, I did some thinking and remembered my last relationship. I thought it was going great but she broke it off suddenly after 3 months. The next morning I started thinking through everything, trying to figure out where I messed up, and what went wrong. After a while, I came to the conclusion that no matter how hard I think about it, or how long I think about it, I will never no for sure what the reason(s) were. Heck, she might not have even known for certain.

Honestly, I don't think its necessarily something you're doing wrong. I mean, if you could have a long term, meaningful relationship with almost anybody, well they wouldn't be that special. So I guess the only thing you can do is keep trying and one day it could happen. Heck, maybe even tomorrow....

If you can manage a relationship for 10-11 months, you are doing something right. At this point it is just a numbers game. Keep trying and one will stick.
I'd kill to have a 10-11 month relationship. My girlfriends break up with me after 2-3 weeks when they realize I can't actually have a conversation with them.

Being dumped can be so painful. Just knowing that your deep feelings of affection are not reciprocated, or at least, no longer. That they simply don't care for you in the way you care for them, and all this emotional energy has been invested in nothing.

In my case, every time I hear that one of my never-wases got married, it just twists the knife deeper, because they've FOUND their happiness, and I'm not a part of it, and never was meant to be.

Dating is cruel, cruel, cruel. It's evil really. Sizing each other up, rejecting, dismissing, treating people like they're so many parts or pieces of equipment you can return to the store or upgrade when the new model comes out.

The cultures that practiced arranged marriage had it right.

Im not sure if I could practice arranged marriages it would just be kinda awkward for me.

Don't beat yourself up about it

there are hundreds of reasons why someone might break up with you.
just like there are hundreds of reasons someone might fall in love with you

It could be something you've done or you could be completely unrelated

Shoot I have a friend who once broke up with a girlfriend because he was stressing about college.
The best thing you can do is not let it get to you and just keep doing what your doing. Honestly most of my female friends would kill to have a relationship that lasted 10-11 months. They're average length of their relationships is only 5 months at best. So I'm sure you'll meet someone who will appreciate you for as long as you like, just got to keep looking.

None of the above. You're young. Your boyfriends have presumably been young too. Not sure what it is exactly that you expect - that you're going to find a lifemate at that age? Not likely. Most people at that age are still just learning what it is they want, and a series of a dozen 10-12 month relationships by your age is actually quite succesful, really. I would venture to say that there are lots of people who've been lucky to have had half as many that lasted half as long, by age 23.

The longest relationship I'd had at age 23 (and only relationship, excluding three or four one-night stands) was about 2 months; in fact, I can't remember how old I was exactly when that happened, so its possible at 23 I'd never had an ongoing relationship at all. But I've been with my current partner now 13 years. So don't sweat it.