Aspie Ladies: have u ever experienced the "girlfriend b

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Ldub20Owl316
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21 Mar 2012, 3:28 am

I've experienced the "boyfriend bomb" a countless number of times so I know it is painful. But can ladies who rate on the Kinsey Scale from 0 to 3 share their experiences (if they've had any) with dudes they liked who dropped the "girlfriend bomb" on them?



thehipsternerdette
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26 Mar 2012, 7:47 pm

I got the "I'm seeing someone but we can still have 'fun'" bomb. It hurts that he's my best guy friend too. :'(



The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Mar 2012, 2:07 am

I've experienced real bombs, countless of times too.



Ldub20Owl316
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27 Mar 2012, 4:45 am

thehipsternerdette wrote:
I got the "I'm seeing someone but we can still have 'fun'" bomb. It hurts that he's my best guy friend too. :'(

Sorry to hear that you've had that. But I am hoping your luck improves!



Mishra2012
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14 Aug 2012, 7:13 am

That never bothers me unless the person is rude. "You're not my type" "I'm not that attracted to you" "You're not hot" "You're not that hot"
"If you looked a little better"; those bother me. I simple say "we aren't compatible" when I reject someone and most guys won't leave it at that some curse me out and some ask why and half the times I answer why they respond with intentions to hurt me/tear me down.

I was once a 9 and am now a 5-6 depending on who's looking maybe even lower to some. Within the communities I socialize in I am not very desirable for most men and even to many of those that think I'm hot my ethnic background alone makes me "not good enough". As far as the kinsey scale well I am bisexual and I only like men that are 100% heterosexual and most straight and bisexual women like their men to be 100% heterosexual.


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Last edited by Mishra2012 on 14 Aug 2012, 10:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

nessa238
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14 Aug 2012, 7:48 am

I've been seeing a person who only wanted to be 'Friends with benefits', saying he didn't want a girlfriend. It's hard to accept and generally I was only able to accept it for short periods then we'd have a fallout and not speak for a while then get back in contact again.

I find it insulting to be put in an 'only good enough for sex every so often' category by this person and it makes me veer between 'that's it I'm going to remain celibate for the rest of my life!' and 'I miss it!'. I try and lose weight in an effort to broaden my 'market appeal', but then get fed up with that because it's hard and because do I really want to start appealing more to these shallow people who I ultimately despise?

I don't know the solution - whether I need to just learn to be more tolerant in order to get what I want or give it up as it'll never work out well for me.



MightyMorphin
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14 Aug 2012, 8:04 am

I don't even understand what the question is D:



nessa238
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14 Aug 2012, 8:12 am

MightyMorphin wrote:
I don't even understand what the question is D:


I had to look up 'girlfriend bomb' myself on an Urban Slang Dictionary. It means when a man deliberately drops into a conversation that they have a girlfriend to deter the person they are talking to from thinking they might be in with a chance with them. It's a way of saying 'I don't fancy you/I'm already taken' Arrogant people do it because they think any member of the opposite sex who even looks at or talks to them must by default fancy them. Generally though, any woman with a brain will have picked up on this level of arrogance very quickly and seeing them as boyfriend material will be the furthest thing from their mind!

The Kinsey Scale is to assess where you are on a scale that assesses sexual preference - from ultra heterosexual to homosexual, with bisexual in the middle (I think).



MightyMorphin
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14 Aug 2012, 9:45 am

I don't think that's ever happened to me, the girlfriend bomb. If it has happened, I certainly didn't notice it xD



Mishra2012
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14 Aug 2012, 10:41 am

nessa238 wrote:
I've been seeing a person who only wanted to be 'Friends with benefits', saying he didn't want a girlfriend. It's hard to accept and generally I was only able to accept it for short periods then we'd have a fallout and not speak for a while then get back in contact again.

I find it insulting to be put in an 'only good enough for sex every so often' category by this person and it makes me veer between 'that's it I'm going to remain celibate for the rest of my life!' and 'I miss it!'. I try and lose weight in an effort to broaden my 'market appeal', but then get fed up with that because it's hard and because do I really want to start appealing more to these shallow people who I ultimately despise?

I don't know the solution - whether I need to just learn to be more tolerant in order to get what I want or give it up as it'll never work out well for me.


I have had that experience too many times...only good enough for sex or "short term dating". I have the same struggle with weight loss. I actually lose weight easily I guess but knowing that my main reason to do so is to appeal to more men turns me off and then I go stuff my face!


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metaldanielle
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15 Aug 2012, 1:40 am

Yes, I have. That's just not cool.



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15 Aug 2012, 2:31 am

The type of guy's I am attracted to and hit on.....seem to always be single. I guess that comes from liking really BIG men who are into gaming and preferably into sci fi.

I drop the boyfriend bomb a lot. I just work him into conversations with either gender where i am unsure of the attentions of the other person. I can't read body language well and prefer not to leed people on. I don't want to get raped again. :-(



nessa238
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15 Aug 2012, 4:44 am

I don't tend to go after anyone unless I already know they like me enough - I prefer to let the other person do most of the running at the start.

There's this thing whereby if your'e too keen it's like your value drops lol Women who dismiss men and act hard to get are seen as better in some way as they can pick and choose.
I know it's all evolutionary-based with people wanting the 'fittest' person but it gets very tedious as you can tell a mile off most of these 10/10 type women have very unpleasant personalities through having everyone be so sycophantic and fawning around them. So even if a man gets with one of them what kind of life will he have with her?



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15 Aug 2012, 6:53 am

No, but I suspect that's just because I don't talk to many people, and that it won't be long before my "luck" runs out on avoiding it :(


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singularity
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15 Aug 2012, 7:41 am

I've had a couple of guys in the past who were very friendly with me over a period of time, and made it quite obvious they were interested in me. (it would have to be obvious for me to pick up on it) When I responded in a positive manner, it was then that they informed me of their girlfriends, leaving me feeling stupid and betrayed. I thought that was 'the girlfriend bomb'.



nessa238
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15 Aug 2012, 8:25 am

singularity wrote:
I've had a couple of guys in the past who were very friendly with me over a period of time, and made it quite obvious they were interested in me. (it would have to be obvious for me to pick up on it) When I responded in a positive manner, it was then that they informed me of their girlfriends, leaving me feeling stupid and betrayed. I thought that was 'the girlfriend bomb'.


Yes that is it but in a slightly different form in that these men weren't averse to flirting with you and may even have wanted to see you behind their girlfriend's back possibly. A lot of people just like to flirt though and not take things further and some see it as a game where they can have fun teasing people if they know you like them. They are testing out their desirability on a person just to boost their ego.