Is it ok for your spouse to have friends of the opposite sex

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My wife has a friend who is a male. They don't spend time together outside of work, but occasionally talk on the phone. I don't like it, I get very jealous. I know I'm not highly social,
But don't feel this is appropriate. He's not OUR friend, and before he knew she was married, he even asked her out. She insists it's just a light friendship and will never be more, and I believe her, but it doesn't stop the heart pounding adrenaline anger and jealousy I feel. I don't want to feel this way. What can I do? I don't want her to be friends but she won't stop, and I love her so much.

yes I dont see anythng wrong with it

Don't let your jealousy get the best of you! You might be heading down the road to an unhealthy relationship. I suggest you talk with your therapist.

There's nothing wrong with that at all, you are headed for an insecure unhealthy relationship if you continue to persist with this type of behaviour.

Trust is something you need in a relationship with out trust the proggess of your relationship will end up derailing.

I'm too jealous to be okay with it.
But then, I'd be jealous of an SO having SAME sex friends, as well.

Yes it's ok. It's your job however to analyse what it is exactly about this other man that makes you jealous. You have to trust your wife that she will do the right thing by you and not cheat. By asking her to cut off her male friends you are telling her that you do not trust her around other men.

If she does cut him off for you, you better be willing to fill the social void and take her out for coffee lots.

I think you need to let your wife have male friends. It's not a big deal really, and probably annoying to her that you are so jealous.
At least I would find it annoying.

Thank you all for your replies. You've given me a lot to think about. I didn't know about AS when I got married almost 17 years ago. All I can say is that it's been a rough ride for both of us. I had never been in any kind of intimate relationship prior to this one, and had worked 2nd shift for a decade, leaving her home alone night after night.

Later recognizing I was neglecting our relationship, I transferred to 1st shift so we would have the same schedule and have evenings together. That's when I discovered she had this whole other life I didn't know about, with people I didn't even know were in communication with her. I reacted badly when I realized she had male friends; guess I felt I'd been replaced or not needed or something, and when she seemed indifferent to my feelings about it, I more or less had a meltdown. This has happened a couple of times now, so I knew I needed help, because
I don't always know what is appropriate and what isn't, and I didn't know if intense jealousy was an aspie thing; it's just the worst feeling in the world.

The only other time I felt like this was when she admitted to me she was not a virgin when we got together. She'd actually been going steady with a guy for 6 years before me. I felt like I had my guts ripped out. It was like she'd cheated on me somehow. I basically fumed inside for a year about it. That was years ago, and I can handle it now, but
I wondered maybe that had something to do with it.

To be honest with you, after your second post, it sounds like things will get worse before they get better and that too much has occured.
Sure she can have friends of the opposite sex but it seems these men are escorts or to put it simply, sex buddies.
If she isn't appreciating your feelings as you stated then I'd leave her. She's not worth it.

I didn't have a problem with my ex having male friends, what I did have a problem with was her disregard for how it was perceived by other people and how it was making me look. For instance when my sister asked me where she was and I replied that she was off to meet a guy in London who she plays Call of Duty with on Xbox Live, it raised an eyebrow which led to a debate that I wasn't entirely comfortable with.

No there's no sex buddy thing going on. She only talks to this one guy on the phone, that other guy was before she and I started dating, and they had actually been engaged until she found out he was cheating on her.

My mistake with the sex buddy thing there, since you stated male friends and her being home alone at times, I kinda put the two together.
Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.
I'd not worry about this as she would have left you if she wasn't satisfied. Why not be happy that she is with you? Male friends are only a problem if they say about sleeping with her.