How many of you are on OKcupid?

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Joined: 29 Dec 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,348

08 Apr 2012, 6:39 am

I just randomly checked out a few other cities around the US that I've visited.. TONS of 90% plus matches with great profiles.. Then I go back and check my town.. one 90%, a few 80's and then downhill..

Clearly I'm just in the wrong place geographically.. I need to move.. but that takes money..

starkid
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08 Apr 2012, 8:51 pm

I've just recently started a fresh profile on it, but I've been there on and off for a few years. Most people in my area are either not my type in some fundamental way, or put so little/such shallow stuff in their profile that I can't tell what type of person they are. Couple weeks after I joined again, I received an email stating that something like 9 out of 10 of my best matches were in Northern Europe .

Does anyone else hate looking through their matches because they find the pictures kind of a sensory overload? I prefer reading the profile text than getting a visual as a first impression.

Pyrite
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08 Apr 2012, 9:19 pm

Bloom wrote:

I'm actually thinking of starting an account on this site (OKCupid). Dunno if I should or not... still feeling a bit wishywashy about it. After my last "romantic interlude", I'm pretty gunshy about guys, and the things I hear from them. Of course, if you know you're damaged goods, is it fair to put yourself out there? Hmmm.... I dunno. I guess I'll keep debating myself about this.

I'll keep my eye on this thread to see what happens. I'm interested in what you folks have to say.

_Bloom

I'm not on OKCupid (reading the thread because I'm considering it) but if you see this as a moral concern I would think the solution would be to (delicately) mention it in your profile.

I'm not sure who would really be put off by it. Does anyone really approach dating with the assumption that anyone who doesn't marry and stay with the first person they meet is messed up? And from what's been said it sounds like guys learns to expect most women they message with to be a bit "wishywashy" (if only because they may be considering someone else at the same time).

I could be completely wrong of course....

Bloom
Deinonychus

Joined: 15 Mar 2012
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08 Apr 2012, 10:20 pm

Pyrite wrote:

Bloom wrote:

I think you totally took what I said the wrong way. I'm a bit wishywashy about the site; meaning I go back and forth about whether or not to join. That's one point. Second point; I'm a little gunshy about guys who tend to sound GREAT online, but then in chat, in texting, on the phone, and in person they don't do so well... the lack the backspace and that moment they need to rethink what they're about to put out there.

Lastly, I don't "hook up" - period. When I "date" someone, I do it when "am I'm prepared to stay with this person for life?" in my mind. I'm far, FAR too old (take my word for it) to just mess around. So, yes, when I go out with, say, Vigilans for a cuppa, the whole time I'm thinking, "Is this going to work long term?"

After a few of these encounters I'll be pretty settled on whether or not he and I will be good friends or good partners, and he'll know, too.

Blo_om

Pyrite
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09 Apr 2012, 1:28 am

Bloom wrote:

I think you totally took what I said the wrong way.

Looks like it. Sorry about that.

Daemonic-Jackal
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09 Apr 2012, 4:24 am

rabbittss wrote:

The worst thing though is, the closer I get to my own age range, the more likely they are to have kids already, which is a complete deal breaker. So then I'm stuck looking at women in the 21-23 year old range and none of them ever seem to be interested.

Might be a cultural difference here but the problem I find with single mothers on dating sites is that the majority of them don't want anymore children. How can they expect a guy to potentially play step-dad to their kids if it means that he can never have any of his own? That is seriously taking the p***.

The majority of men who don't want children will only date women who don't want children themselves, at least that's a mutual agreement for both participants concerned.

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rabbittss
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09 Apr 2012, 7:21 am

Daemonic-Jackal wrote:

rabbittss wrote:

I cannot say I've noticed that, But then I also tend to get about as far in their profile as "Spending time with my child, they are the most important thing in life" and then click the back button. It's not that I don't want kids, I just don't want some one elses kids.

Bloom
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09 Apr 2012, 8:26 am

Pyrite wrote:

Bloom wrote:

I think you totally took what I said the wrong way.

Looks like it. Sorry about that.

No problems - it's the internets! >.>

B_loom

ValentineWiggin
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09 Apr 2012, 1:08 pm

I always get bombarded with messages at first, go on a date with a couple people, and then never see them again.

Then, after the first month, no more messages.

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Vigilans
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09 Apr 2012, 2:22 pm

I sent my first message initiating a conversation with this adorable little Asian woman. She replied so that's a good sign?

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Trigas
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09 Apr 2012, 2:27 pm

Vigilans wrote:

I sent my first message initiating a conversation with this adorable little Asian woman. She replied so that's a good sign?

No way, if she didn't send you nudes by now then there is no chance! :lol:

Doing it all wrong!

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starkid
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09 Apr 2012, 3:22 pm

Vigilans wrote:

I sent my first message initiating a conversation with this adorable little Asian woman. She replied so that's a good sign?

Make sure to tell her you think of her as an "adorable little Asian woman."

Vigilans
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09 Apr 2012, 3:35 pm

starkid wrote:

Vigilans wrote:

I sent my first message initiating a conversation with this adorable little Asian woman. She replied so that's a good sign?

Make sure to tell her you think of her as an "adorable little Asian woman."

well I did make it clear I think she is adorable.

ValentineWiggin
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09 Apr 2012, 4:09 pm

Someone who references my looks in the first message (or the next few) gets ignored. Same with lots of spelling errors.

Vigilans
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09 Apr 2012, 4:16 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:

Someone who references my looks in the first message (or the next few) gets ignored. Same with lots of spelling errors.

Yeah I tend to think talking about looks in the first couple of messages makes it seem like one's intentions are purely physical

Bloom
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Joined: 15 Mar 2012
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Location: On the OTHER Wrong Planet. The nicer one...

09 Apr 2012, 7:07 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:

Someone who references my looks in the first message (or the next few) gets ignored. Same with lots of spelling errors.

But you ARE beautiful

I hope you're posting ugly photos! >.>

*I* would have a hard time not saying something about how pretty you are in the first few chats/messages.

And I like to think I'm pretty on level. I certainly wouldn't be after you for just one thing... of course, we know MEN. <.<

Except Vig. he's a gentleman. *nods*

Anyway, my thuppence (again).

Bl_oom

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