i just dont know anymore

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so one of my closest friends, and since january room mate, is a girl. me and her have always been very close and shes always been very affectionate but since i moved in with her shes been more affectionate than usual to the point that friends who know theres nothing going on are asking if theres something going on... yesterday she was with me all day, and was very affectionate with me, i left my room to get something to drink when i get back shes gone but theres a condom on my pillow and not one of mine... im not sure what to think of this any suggestions or ideas?

Ask/tell her straight up what you're thinking. You guys are friends, right, so theoretically you should be able to do that with no problems...

So I found a rubber on my pillow and it's not mine, any idea what that's about?

She might be thinking that you are too shy to initiate romance. So she is hinting. Blatantly.
You might want to set the record straight...nicely. Make sure you begin with how valuable her friendship is to you, but end with, I don't think it would work.

Of course, that is, if you are NOT interested. Otherwise, just let it happen.

It means she wants sex.

Of course when my wife asked me if I was coming to bed early that meant she wanted sex and I had no clue...

She wants to sleep with you...

If you're not interested, leave a recording of the TV show "Friends" on her pillow. I think she'll get the message.

If you're interested and you do nothing you'll be beating yourself up for a long time to come, trust me.

There was this girl when I was in high school who kept doing things that were pretty blatant. I *knew* but I kept second guessing, every time, because I didn't know exactly what to do. I shouldn't have worried about that.

An example of the sort of stuff she'd do. One night we're at a get-together. Some of us, including me and her, decided to sleep there. I took the couch, she took the spare room. She comes down and says the bed is uncomfortable, asks to switch. A little while later, she's back and she says the couch is even worse, and asks to share the bed. Very crafty, she was. But, I'm sitting there thinking "Is this really happening? no ... can't be ... not me ... and even if it is, what should I do? I don't know!" Not a wink of sleep all night. Another time she invites me over to her house, says, "want to see my bedroom?", takes me to her room, and says. "This is my bedroom. My parents are away" and like the big idiot I was at the time I said, "It's nice. I have to go now"

This sort of thing happened on a regular basis over 4-5 year period, til I moved away. She'd even ask me out and say, "it'll be like a date" and I'm thinking "like a date, ok, thats not a date then" but in context of the whole history of everything that was going on, that was ridiculous. I just said that to myself as an excuse.

The thing is, I liked her so much. I thought about her, all the time. I mean, ALL the time. I beat myself up over this for years and years and years, I felt like maybe I hurt her, like she thought I just kept stringing her along or something. I don't have feelings for her anymore, it was so long ago, but I still sometimes worry that maybe I damaged her or something.

thing is i was after her for a while and on multipul occasions she said she would not date me,the only reason i moved in was because i thought i was over her. point is she does stuff like this but says she has no interest in me... im lost

Maybe sheis teasing you or secretly she wants you back. Females tend to be rather confusing and great at mind games.

That depends on whether the condom was still sealed or a used one...

If you're talking about human beings you mean women, not females, also as a collective we don't tend to do anything.

I think the condom is a good launching point for discussion. "so, did you have any plans for this?" *if it was unsealed* if it was used, gross, that's disgusting
It sounds to me like she may want to sleep with you, but not date you. Or maybe she just changed her mind.

Just ask her. Tell her you have trouble understanding subtlety and are confused. And tell her that you are open to exploring the possibility of being something more than friends, but that since she had previously told you that was not something she would consider, you had shut those feelings down. If you are going to re-open them, you need to know what she is thinking.

As roommates or as lovers, the ability to address tough topics head on is going to be important. So here's your first. Good luck.