What did she mean by this?

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my grandmother (on my mums side) really liked my grandfather (on my dads side).

i asked my grandmother what she thought of my great uncle (my grandfathers brother) and she said "he did not have the charm like your grandfather did".

What did she mean exactley by "he did not have the charm?" my great uncle was described by my father as "not having one nasty bone in his body" and "very laid back". my dad went as far as saying that my great uncle was a nicer man than his father was.

he didnt have the intangibles that made her love your grandfather so much

well even though i was only 1 year old when my grandad died i think he used a lot of 'deceiving charm' too make people like him so much. my dads second youngest brother i think once said that grandfather was a "bully". my grandfather according too my dad was explosive in temper but that was probably just because he had diabeties and also developed cancer before he died at aged 64 in 1991.

"Charming" isn't the same as genuinely "nice." Charm involves saying things to flatter people and appeal to them emotionally, even if you don't mean it. Charm is often flaky and superficial. Think of a magic charm - a magician uses tricks to "charm" his audience. Some NT women are fooled by it. Others are wary and put their guard up. Charming doesn't mean bad, necessarily, but it can be a mask to hide the bad. Charming people tend to get away with more than non-charming people. Hope that makes sense.

Yes you got it in a nutshell. i think my grandfather really did give my grandmother a false impression with his charm covering up his dark side.

He had a particular way with people.

People often see different things about the same person, or think they do. My own dad is loved by just about everyone he knows, and is a good father to my brother and me, and my mom couldn't ask for a better husband. But I have been much more close to my mother ever since I was a little girl, although I've gotten more close to Dad over the years. Good thing I wasn't born male or the mama's boy label would be slapped on me in a second.

Hmm. IMHO someone flaky and superficial is smarmy, not charming. A smarmy person puts my guard up, a charming person takes my guard down.

Someone who truly exercises charm is able to put people around him or her at ease, and make them feel special. If you are charming, you show people off around you to their best effect. You might introduce two people and help advance their conversation to help them get along. Charming people put the spotlight on someone else, for example by asking them lots of questions and having a good memory for details about them. Although charm can be learned, to me it is not superficial, it is remembering to be generous and kind.