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Zamogurl
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02 May 2012, 6:09 am

Ok this is a very long story so ill try to compress it....
- we have been friends since i was in yr 5 and him in yr 6
- i am 14 turning 15 and he is 16 turning 17 (im alot more mature than you would think)
- we both play computer games together and talk to eachother over skype call for hours (mostly with other friends but occasionaly alone)
- for the last year i have liked him, possibly longer
- one time, im assuming, his best friend asked him if he would go out with me, his friend told me he wouldnt because i went out with one of his most anoying friends who we all hate, (my ex/ this friend has now moved away and this guy i like is now acting slightly diffrent)
- usualy you would hear stories with people and their aspie friends and not much comunication, but we have heaps of comunication, i am the only girl he can talk to normaly, we can joke and laugh with eachother.
- we hardly ever see eachother only the occasional movie with friends but we talk ALL the time over skype. (we go to the same school but it is seperated onto two campuses spliting boys and girls)

If u have been bothered to read this far thankyou :) what i would like some tips to tell him i like him without saying it or actions/ things he may say to tell me he likes me?



faithfilly
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02 May 2012, 6:55 am

Your actions already tell him you like him. If he didn't like you, it seems you'd know it. Since you're the only girl he can talk to normally, your friendship with him ought to bring the two of you naturally closer together over time. It's also good that you don't see each other often. That will make those times you are together more meaningful.


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CrinklyCrustacean
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02 May 2012, 7:26 am

Zamogurl wrote:
What i would like some tips to tell him i like him without saying it or actions/ things he may say to tell me he likes me?

Why don't you want to say it? Also, for what it's worth, I am far more blind to romantic signals than I give myself credit for, and by "blind," I mean that I totally didn't see the Hermione/Ron relationship coming in Harry Potter. I also didn't realise my work colleague had feelings for me until about a fortnight before she asked me out, and even then I wasn't 100% sure. You may have to say it verbally, or at least be blindingly obvious about it like she was.

As for hints and signals that he likes you, that will probably vary a lot between aspies just like it does with NTs. When I get a crush I will talk endlessly about her to my friends, but become your classic very shy and awkward teenager in her presence. This is uncharacteristic for me as I'm relatively outgoing most of the time. Also my brain jams, and I forget how to start a conversation, even if there is an important matter I have to discuss with her. I become very nervous around her and find it very difficult to get up the nerve to talk to her in the first place, and then when I do succeed in starting a conversation off, I don't know what to talk about and the conversation lapses into long awkard silences. I often hide or look busy when they come into a room. Meanwhile I'm tortured inside as to whether she likes me in return or not. Usually I try and crush my crush out of existence by telling myself they are already taken. This has turned out to be 100% true so far. If I can't succeed at that, my last resort is to admit my feelings to her with a certain amount of self-deprecation, and that usually works, though not always immediately. In short, I cannot hide my feelings, and ironically not only am I a bit of a romantic, but the shyness actually sabotages my chance of getting to know them as people. It is pretty much the most awkward, unpleasant, and unproductive time I spend. Also, my crushes have a nasty habit of starting off as an intense desire to be friends, rather than going straight into full-blown crush mode. This means that I may not be aware that I feel that way about her, because I like making friends and I do have intense desires to be friends with certain people, while having absolutely no underlying ulterior motives or romantic feelings for them at all. Yuck. I hate crushes! :lol:



CrinklyCrustacean
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02 May 2012, 7:36 am

faithfilly wrote:
Your actions already tell him you like him.

How? :scratch: They are clearly good friends and compatible, but I can't see anything in what she said that shows definite signs of romantic interest from either of them. They talk for hours - most friends do. The play games together - again, most friends do. The fact she is the only person he can talk to is just the way they are, it's not indicative of anything in particular, as I see it.



AScomposer13413
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02 May 2012, 7:56 am

I'm with CrinklyCrustacean on this one. The only surefire way to do it is to be insanely direct with him and say it. As for signs he may like you, we wouldn't be able to tell you, because we don't know him and how his Asperger's manifests in him.



Chummy
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02 May 2012, 8:55 am

Zamogurl wrote:
Ok this is a very long story so ill try to compress it....
- we have been friends since i was in yr 5 and him in yr 6
- i am 14 turning 15 and he is 16 turning 17 (im alot more mature than you would think)
- we both play computer games together and talk to eachother over skype call for hours (mostly with other friends but occasionaly alone)
- for the last year i have liked him, possibly longer
- one time, im assuming, his best friend asked him if he would go out with me, his friend told me he wouldnt because i went out with one of his most anoying friends who we all hate, (my ex/ this friend has now moved away and this guy i like is now acting slightly diffrent)
- usualy you would hear stories with people and their aspie friends and not much comunication, but we have heaps of comunication, i am the only girl he can talk to normaly, we can joke and laugh with eachother.
- we hardly ever see eachother only the occasional movie with friends but we talk ALL the time over skype. (we go to the same school but it is seperated onto two campuses spliting boys and girls)

If u have been bothered to read this far thankyou :) what i would like some tips to tell him i like him without saying it or actions/ things he may say to tell me he likes me?


OMG how sweet :heart:

This takes me years back when I was your age I (male) had alot of chances with girls and missed them all out because of fear of rejection and being inexperienced. Then when my first GF came, she was just not as good as those past girls. Anyway, if you really love each other don't let the opportunity fade away. If he doesn't initiate anything that might be because he's too shy/isn't aware of social cues or maybe something else completely I don't know him in person. If you really love him with all your heart, go and make the first move. When you meet him try to kinda absentmindedly flirt with him or do him the "look". Maybe talk over Skype and arrange sometime you go out only both of you. haha. I hope he's worth it :) Good luck!



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02 May 2012, 11:17 am

[quote="Zamogurl"]Ok this is a very long story so ill try to compress it....
- we have been friends since i was in yr 5 and him in yr 6
- i am 14 turning 15 and he is 16 turning 17 (im alot more mature than you would think)
- we both play computer games together and talk to eachother over skype call for hours (mostly with other friends but occasionaly alone)
- for the last year i have liked him, possibly longer
- one time, im assuming, his best friend asked him if he would go out with me, his friend told me he wouldnt because i went out with one of his most anoying friends who we all hate, (my ex/ this friend has now moved away and this guy i like is now acting slightly diffrent)
- usualy you would hear stories with people and their aspie friends and not much comunication, but we have heaps of comunication, i am the only girl he can talk to normaly, we can joke and laugh with eachother.
- we hardly ever see eachother only the occasional movie with friends but we talk ALL the time over skype. (we go to the same school but it is seperated onto two campuses spliting boys and girls)

If u have been bothered to read this far thankyou :) what i would like some tips to tell him i like him without saying it or actions/ things he may say to tell me he likes me?[/quote
Damn i wish i had friends


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02 May 2012, 11:37 am

If he spends time with you willingly he cares about you a lot already. Ask directly and say timeframes for how far you'd like to take the relationship and ask what kind of light touching he enjoys if he says yes.


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lilbetta
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02 May 2012, 2:01 pm

i was in a similar situation a few months ago almost same stuff so i put it out on the line and emailed her... you might consider doing that also... I find it easier to express myself in writing rather than talking so that was one big help, and she was a GREAT friend kinda like your fried so when she told me that she was not interested in me in that kind of way and saw me as more of a brother we were still able to remain friends... in fact we became even closer friends after i ot over the rejection and it was great. maybe you should try to let him honeslty know how you feel...



Zamogurl
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02 May 2012, 4:28 pm

Thankyou all, i will be shure to take everything you have said into concideration :D



CrinklyCrustacean
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03 May 2012, 5:47 am

SanityTheorist wrote:
If he spends time with you willingly he cares about you a lot already.

Yes - as a friend.



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03 May 2012, 6:47 am

Zamogurl wrote:
i am 14 turning 15 and he is 16 turning 17


There may be some legal issues here.



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03 May 2012, 7:14 am

Deleted.



Last edited by smudge on 03 May 2012, 3:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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03 May 2012, 12:20 pm

edgewaters wrote:
Zamogurl wrote:
i am 14 turning 15 and he is 16 turning 17


There may be some legal issues here.


No one actually prosecutes people for that kind of crap... do they? 8O



CrinklyCrustacean
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04 May 2012, 3:06 am

edgewaters wrote:
Zamogurl wrote:
i am 14 turning 15 and he is 16 turning 17


There may be some legal issues here.

They are both minors.



edgewaters
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04 May 2012, 5:30 am

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
edgewaters wrote:
Zamogurl wrote:
i am 14 turning 15 and he is 16 turning 17


There may be some legal issues here.

They are both minors.


Not here. Age of consent is 16. There's a close in age thing though, I think it is 2 years.