Aspies and terms of endearment

Post Reply New Topic

Nicknames, I don't mind to a certain degree; heck, half the time I'm the one coming up with nicknames for my friends until they get annoyed about it. Pet names, on the other hand, drive me up the wall, and the video is no different. I'm not sure if it's the tone of voice or the fact that there are so many names that makes the video a little irksome for me, though...

I have situational reasons why I can't tolerate them well except from someone I know doesn't mean them in an offensive way. I was called baby a lot not as a term of endearment but as an insult. "Stop being a baby!" "You're such a big baby!" This I received from being very emotional throughout my childhood and still am, but they call me "immature" or "childish" now which aren't linked to terms of endearment so I don't have to worry about word triggers. Babe is closely related to baby, but the real reason I can't stand it is because of the people I would run into online who would call me babe first thing and I wanted to smack them over the head with something. Often they would add the word sexy- "Hey, sexy babe" and then I'd really want to hurt them as no one should ever dare call me sexy.

Still, I find myself calling my cat babe. That's why I can accept those terms of endearment from someone I know cares deeply about me.

I would love it if one of these days my Aspie guy called me some sort of pet name. Wouldn't have to be honey or babe, could be something he made up for me, which would make it even more special. But I can't get my hopes up about it. I try not to think about it.

Now what I don't like is strangers calling me honey and sweetie and the like. When I'm at work somtimes a customer will call me honey. I HATE that! Only if it's a guy though. Women say stuff like that all the time and I don't think twice. But don't let a guy call me honey or sweetie. That makes me feel disgusting and uneasy.

I hate that too - it's way too private, and I find it very offensive. I also hate it when they call me by my name (which unfortunately is on my shirt) as if we were close friends. I get all stiff and strained, and my beaming shop girl persona gets a hard time keeping control, and instead of getting the extra friendly service they seem to expect, they get a strained smile and shifty eyes. And I always feel bad afterwards, because they probably say it to be nice or friendly or egalitarian or whatever, and then their victim is even worse at handling that "friendliness" than the average person, and everything goes wrong...