Criticizing your girlfriend's appearance

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BrandonSP
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14 May 2012, 11:02 pm

If there's one aspect of your girlfriend's visual appearance that you want her to change (I'm talking aspects that can be easily changed without a lot of money), how do you critique her appearance without offending her? For example, I think women look better with naturally woolly hair, but unfortunately a lot of woolly-haired women assault their hair with hot combs. If I was dating a girl with artificially straightened hair, how would I convince her to restore her hair to its original woolly texture?


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OliveOilMom
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14 May 2012, 11:05 pm

There is probably no way to do that without offending her. You can ask her to not straighten it one day so you can see what she looks like then really compliment her on it and tell her you like it better that way. Or you' can ask if she's ever let it be natural and mention that you like natural hair, but don't mention her straightened hair.

Criticizing your girlfriends appearance is more dangerous and tricky that disarming a bomb one handed and blind.

God be with you.


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AScomposer13413
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14 May 2012, 11:10 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
There is probably no way to do that without offending her. [...] Criticizing your girlfriends appearance is more dangerous and tricky that disarming a bomb one handed and blind.


^ This!



hyperlexian
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14 May 2012, 11:13 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
There is probably no way to do that without offending her. You can ask her to not straighten it one day so you can see what she looks like then really compliment her on it and tell her you like it better that way. Or you' can ask if she's ever let it be natural and mention that you like natural hair, but don't mention her straightened hair.

Criticizing your girlfriends appearance is more dangerous and tricky that disarming a bomb one handed and blind.

God be with you.

^^^this. she is ultimately dressing and doing her hair for herself, so she has chosen a hairstyle that makes her feel attractive. if it ever came up in conversation, for example if she was complaining about her hair going woolly, you could tell her that she would probably look awesome like that (while also telling her that you like her current hairstyle). she might try it for you. but unless you have massively advanced social skills, it is pretty easy to mess up and offend her.


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redrobin62
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14 May 2012, 11:24 pm

What does "^ this" mean? I see you guys use this terminology a lot.



hyperlexian
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14 May 2012, 11:25 pm

redrobin62 wrote:
What does "^ this" mean? I see you guys use this terminology a lot.

it means "i agree with the above post". some people say "this", others put "^^^" to point to the post, and still others quote a post without making a reply as a sort of agreement.


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AScomposer13413
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15 May 2012, 12:02 am

hyperlexian wrote:
redrobin62 wrote:
What does "^ this" mean? I see you guys use this terminology a lot.

it means "i agree with the above post". some people say "this", others put "^^^" to point to the post, and still others quote a post without making a reply as a sort of agreement.


I suppose typing it twice in the same thread after one set of replies would be considered a double post :lol:



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15 May 2012, 12:10 am

OliveOilMom wrote:
There is probably no way to do that without offending her. You can ask her to not straighten it one day so you can see what she looks like then really compliment her on it and tell her you like it better that way. Or you' can ask if she's ever let it be natural and mention that you like natural hair, but don't mention her straightened hair.

Criticizing your girlfriends appearance is more dangerous and tricky that disarming a bomb one handed and blind.

God be with you.


Oh yes there's away of doing it without offence. I did it with one ex. First off some info about that ex: I been friends with her for many years, lost contact with her and then dated her. While she was dating me she dyed her hair, personally I disliked the colour & prefered her natural colour. So one day when the time was right I say to her "Darling, I remember when you had your natural hair colour, you looked fantastic. Have you ever though about going back your natural hair colour?"

She then calmly explained to me why she changed her hair colour, due to emotion connections with her abusive first husband. Well I told her to keep dying her hair for her own sake!

Oh BTW that same ex criticised me for wearing a t shirt, I didn't speak to her three days due to that. After all she is an Evertonian and I did wear an '69-'76 Liverpool FC replica home shirt, tho she did pick a very bad day to do as my team got beat 3-0. :roll:


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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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15 May 2012, 4:18 am

Compliment what you like, don't compliment what you don't like. If she gets the hint, great. Either way you haven't offended anyone and you've been true to yourself. If it becomes a problem, leave and find someone who fits the bill.



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 May 2012, 6:22 am

A wise man's word: Just shut up.



AngelRho
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15 May 2012, 7:00 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
A wise man's word: Just shut up.

Agreed. She's just on "girlfriend" status, so there really isn't anything you could or should do. Only in a deeply committed relationship where you understand each other completely can you even begin to make demands of your SO. And even then you have to be extremely careful about what kind and the frequency of them. You also accept the same from her!

I believe that you have the right to choose your mate based on appearance. If you feel the need to change her, it could also be that she's not the right one for you.



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15 May 2012, 7:02 am

First of all: don't do it. Second of all: don't use the word 'woolly', try curly instead. Third of all: don't do it.



MXH
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15 May 2012, 7:19 am

Image



blue_bean
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15 May 2012, 8:30 am

Don't you like her the way she is? She appears the way she wants to appear, and if you don't find her choice attractive that's your problem.

You also have to take into account some reasons she's doing her hair that way. While you might think her hair looks good "woolly", at the end of the day that sort of style is super prone to frizziness and looking like an unkempt mess. It's not about what style you think looks more attractive, it's about what style looks neater and more presentable. Anyway, the more it gets straightened, the dryer the hair gets, even more frizz, and the less possible it is to have a neat curly style.



minervx
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15 May 2012, 9:07 am

bring it up in conversation when its relevant.

if she's wearing her hair the way you like it one day, praise her for it.



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15 May 2012, 9:15 am

My advice is to get used to straight hair.

This may be easier for me to say as I like straight hair already. Then again, I kinda like all hair styles equally. Although, I guess what I like the most is frequently changing hairstyles. It's like dating multiple women with the same core qualities that made you fall for the first one. I'm sorry, what were we talking about, again?